Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Coming Home

Coming home. What a wonderful thing to say. To hear. To anticipate.

In a previous post I mentioned a friend of mine whose husband is in Iraq. He was coming home for his two week leave back at the first of July. She and the kids enjoyed every second he was home and even let him go back. They didn't want to. Well, his time is almost up over there. He is there with a man from my church and two other guys I grew up with. W (friend's hubby) and J (man from my church) are full time national guard and therefore have been gone longer than others due to getting things ready.

Miss M, mah friend, sent an email out last week. She had gone over her 2004 calendar and was making some observations. Like how many days W had been gone. The last time they had a "date" night. How he's missed first days of 5K and first grade for the oldest child. How he missed all the teething with the second child and her first words. Now she speaks in sentences. Just a list of things that are small but make a big picture. I cried reading it...knowing that even though she's made it was such a hard road.

At church Sunday, I asked the mother of one of the guys I grew up with if she had heard from him. She laughed and said that he had called at 3 a.m. that morning because they call when they get the chance and no one complains about what time of day or night the phone rings. He was mostly chit-chatting and the excitement came through. They call everyday over there "wakeups". Before he would talk about months...then he says "I have X number of wakeups....then I'm coming home".

Mr. J's wife came in then and I asked her how he was doing. Ready to come home. (he's got 4 grankids chomping at the bit to see Papa) I asked her if she was ready for him to come in and take over the house again after she's been on her own for so long.

And this is what I found out.

And it's so cool.

When our soldiers come home they have to take a class of sorts. They don't come straight from the airport home. They have things to do equipment-wise and a class. This class is to show them how to integrate themselves back into their homes and families. They stress to the men that you do NOT come in and take over. Your wife has been rowing the boat on her own for a while and she might not want And I think this is cool. Very smart of someone to come up with this. I guess the divorce rate was so high before, they realized a little help might be needed in this area.

We are waiting for our men to come home. They've been gone for over a year and we've missed them in our everyday lives. Best part about it? Everyone our unit sent will be coming home...walking...breathing....alive.

A Taste of Heaven

A little background for you. My mother is a diabetic. She's had problems with her sugar for 11 years but controlled it with mostly diet and medication in the form of pills. She started getting sick this past Spring and it worried the whole family. Finally, my Dad and I put our foot down and we told her she was going to the doctor accompanied by me. Mr. Doctor ran a whole battery of tests. Alas, he put her on insulin shots. It insulted her. It depressed her. It pissed her off. Now my Mom is a woman of faith. Strong faith. I wish to be as strong in faith as she is just one day if that is any indication. She even ranted and raved about how HE could do this when he knew how much she loved food. We let her vent and said nothing.

She's doing better as time goes by. She is learning how to eat and how to administer her shots. I've even given her some in her arm and even though I don't let her see, I cringe everytime I do it. But it keeps her alive and alive is how I want her to be. My dad and I are constantly watching her to make sure she's not overdoing the carbs and sweets. I truly think she doesn't like us when we gently cough and shake our heads no when she's over doing it with a piece of cake or pie.

Fast forward to today. I call her as the girls and I are leaving counselling. To tell her we are done and going to grab a bite to eat. She inquires as to where we are dining. I tell her we decided we wanted Mexican. She pauses and asks if I will pick up an order of chips and salsa. She then rushes to tell me how good she's been and that she only wants a few. I'm no prison warden. I agree. When I order my meal...a steak burrito....I receive two and end up taking one home since I truly couldn't eat both without throwing up. I bring it into her house when I get home. I thought maybe my dad would like it for supper. She opens the box and just smells it. She gets a fork and cuts off the very end, making sure to get a piece of steak. Folks, I saw what a crack addict looks like. I seriously did. The pure bliss that came across her face was amazing. She quickly closes the lid and starts to fix my dad's plate. Almost anxious-like about it. I sit on the other side of the bar and just watch. She finally looks at me and says...very quickly.....I'm passing on the chips. Don't tell your dad you got this. I want it. I want it bad. I tell her to go for it. ~shrugs~ The woman was in a near frenzy. I figured if she was denied the pleasure of that steak burrito....we'd have to commit her. And I'm not joking.

Rewind a year or so ago. We're at the beach eating at this sinfully huge seafood buffet place. Hey, everyone is allowed at least once a year. And my family ALWAYS meets that quota. We enjoy the bestest meal ever ....crab leg skeletons litter the table like a war zone. Time for the dessert buffet bar. Here goes Mom. She comes back with one little piece of something and this incredibly smug smile on her face. We all glance around thinking she might have just eaten off of the bar to keep us off her back. She is seriously addicted to sweets. She looks around and announces..."I know what heaven looks like." Huh? What do you mean Mom? and she continued with...she knew what heaven looked like because she finally figured it out. Do tell us, Mom. Her theory. When you die and if you've followed the plan right and you go to heaven, there is no pain or suffering. Well, she's suffered this time on Earth being denied one of the biggest things that make her happy....sweets. When she walked over to that dessert buffet bar, she knew without a doubt that when she died and went to heaven.....God is gonna have a dessert buffet waiting on her and He's gonna hand her a fork and tell her to dig in. She looks around the table and informs everyone there that when they finally get to heaven....get directions to that buffet cuz that's where she's gonna be. Rock on Mom.

Monday, August 29, 2005

I was over visiting a blog that I've come to enjoy quite a bit. Miss Angela was tagged to do this "7" deal and then tagged me towards the end. I wish I knew how to highlight her name all fancy-like so you can just click on it and up on her site...but, alas, I cannot. I don't know how! OK? Go to my comments and catch her link there. It's worth the trip. Good reading. Please be warned that I very rarely give one word answers...I like to elaborate. So here goes my answers to "7".

7 Things to do Before I Die:
~ Lose weight. I've done it before and gotta get my moxie up to do it again.
~ Quit smoking. Yes! I smoke! soooo ashamed. It's a leftover from those darned teen years and 20's. But rest assured. I don't smoke around my children. My habit...not theirs.
~ Travel outside of the country. Preferably to somewhere safe. And then come back just as safe.
~ Survive raising kids through the teen years. Nuff said on that.
~ Go on a cruise. I've heard tales in the dark about midnight buffets. I want to see this for myself.
~ Drive a convertable (spell check again, please). At the beach. With super cool shades on. After I've lost weight.
~ Be on the front pew when my children get married and at the hospitol when my granchildren are born.

7 Things I Can Do:
~ Sing. Give me some Eagles harmonizing and I'm there.
~ Talk to total strangers where ever I am. Totally kills the teaching of "Don't talk to strangers" to my kids. They just can't grasp the concept.
~ Be brutally honest. Some consider that a character flaw. Is just how I am.
~ Be on my deathbed and still be able to eat ice cream.
~Make facial expressions. My face talks more than I do. When Fred and I dated, he almost wrecked his truck because he was busy watching to see what facial expression I was going to make. dummy.
~I can have a tougher voice than a Drill Instructor. Comes from working with kids my whole life. Talk tough. Gets their attention.
~I can read like no body's business. I finished the new Harry Potter book in 6 hours. I speed read and it drives my husband nuts.

7 Things I Can't Do:
~ I can not understand the Navy/military. Don't think I ever will.
~ I can't turn a cartwheel. And I hate that. It's just a stupid fear of falling and breaking my neck that stops me.
~ I can't lose weight because I can't leave the durned ice cream alone!!
~ I can't go to bed early unless I'm completely exhausted. It's in my blood to stay up late...very late.
~I can't climb a ladder. Because it goes up high and Hope don't do high.
~I can't keep my house straight. Too many people-too little space. It may drive me insane.
~ I can't figure out how to make Paige happy. But I'm not giving up.

7 Things that Attract me to the Opposite Sex:
~Belief in God.
~ Height. Sorry, but I like tall
~ Sense of humor. Gotta have one to deal with me.
~ Hands.
~ Sense of responsibility. I'm in my 30's....that's very important to me.
~The ability to make me feel purty. Make a woman feel purty and got it made.

7 Things I say Most Often:
~ That is unacceptable. (Paige hates this with a passion!!)
~ If I have to count to THREE..that's's on!!
~Vitt!!! Get out of the fridge/bathroom sink/dryer/tool drawer/your closet/( I think we get the picture here)
~ You have GOT to be kidding me.
~ Amen.

7 Celebrity Crushes: (ok, I know Fred's on this. Jerk)
~ Andre Agassi
~ Sam Elliott
~ Tom Hanks
~Robin Williams (can you just imagine how funny he would be??)
~Will Smith
~ Desperate Housewives Men Ensemble (aren't they simply JUICY????)
~ Fred ( I got a picture of him in the newspaper when he was kid....momentary fame...does that count??)

7 People I'd like to do This List:
this is tough because my reader list is very short. I will put some down and hope that they comply!
~ Jacinda
~ Fred
~ Jody
~ Betsy
~ I must have seven and am out of names!! Must be the lateness of the hour that is stopping me.
~ Mar!!

So there you have it. Man, these things wear me out! Hope you enjoy!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Paige-isms...a deep thinker in progress....

I do not know if this is genetic or just being exposed to me. Maybe it's better if I don't know.

In Social Studies class this week.

The teacher is talking about how women were the first farmers. Ever. How they grew berries and how they provided for their families. I believe this is the caveman era that the teacher is referring to.

Paige raises her hand.

Teacher acknowledges Paige.

Paige says:

So women were the first farmers. Does this mean that the men with their big heads said to themselves: "If a woman can grow some berries, then I can grow a cow"... and then they go and bury a bone?

The teacher just put her face in her hands. Dare I say that she laughed?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I must be Insane

Ok. School is back in session and the Big Boy sits out there looking so lonely and forlorn. Between dance class and not being free until after 5 p.m., we don't get alot of time to go swimming except maybe the weekends. Big Daddy next door says it comes down after Labor Day and we are starting to panic. Heck, we know it'll start getting too cool to swim but it's just so dang cool to see that big pool sitting there. So, this morning I told SIL that we needed to hit the water this evening. She agreed. They drive up at 5:15 with suits on. We are finishing homework and getting ready to splash. Oh, the humidity. SIL says she is not swimming because she's a tad under the weather. No problem. I will take on lifeguard duty. As I am putting on my swimsuit, it starts to rain. Bah, rain. We're getting wet anyway, right? I get outside to see my SIL sitting under shelter with Vitt. I tell her if she wants to go next door to Mom's with Vitt, I'll watch the other four. We had a deal.

Rain is cold. I don't care if it's 100 degrees outside, rain can make you feel cold. So here I go running to the pool to get in. Ahhhhhh, nice and warm. Well, shoot. The rain came down even harder. If anyone has ever watched the Forrest Gump movie where he's in 'Nam and he talks about rain and how it was raining up? Yeah, that was us. It didn't bother those hardy kids at all. I finally got the pool lounger and turned it upside down for shelter. In water. Yeah, I'm serious. My nephew paddled over and decided it was better under there than out in the elements. I promise the temp dropped 15 degrees within minutes. And after about 20 minutes, the temp of the water was dropping too. I finally had to call a halt to the outdoor festivities. I was not the hero.

I had to be insane to think going in the pool while it was pouring down was a good idea.

Side note:
Paige has had really bad headaches the past week. I thought it was due to her not wearing her glasses while in class. Figured it out today. During the summer, she would drink a diet soda or two a day. She's not getting that now in school. My kid is having caffiene withdrawals. Go figure. I feel sorry for her because it's a pain to deal with, but that still doesn't mean she can set up the coffee maker so she can have a couple of cups in the morning before she goes to school. Hate it for you, sister.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Well, what to do???

I think my world as I know it right now is coming to an end. Seriously. Pretty heavy statement to open with, huh?

After alot of soul searching and discussion and probably ALOT more discussion...I think I'm going to pack my kids up and move to be with my husband when he changes bases next year. I simply cannot believe I am even entertaining the thought. One thing drives me. I miss him. We all miss him. This single parent deal I'm doing right now sucks. I know women do it everyday and they do a mighty fine job of it (shout out to Coley-gurl on that one!). But they have to. I believe that when you don't have a choice, you pull up your pants and dive headfirst into doing what needs to be done. We decided before we got married that we wouldn't move the girls away from all they know and the security of routine and family. We didn't know it would be this hard to be apart.

My son is growing and learning so much every single day and Fred is missing so much of it. This past weekend we went to Virginia and had the nicest hotel room to stay in. Plenty of room for the 5 of us. That boy went crazy! Climbing and jumping and trying to open the door to get out. My husband just looked at me guess was in shock? I just shrugged and said he's like that every moment that he's awake. Kills me that I can tell Fred that every day we talk on the phone but he just doesn't get it until he sees it with his own two eyes. I even sent him a pix text today with the cell phone when Vitt climbed up into the bathroom sink in order to reach the toothbrushes and just sat right down in it. I still shake my head over that one.

I didn't want to even think we would be moving until I kinda sorta brought it up in casual conversation to Paige. You know her? That high strung, anxiety ridden, low self esteem, the-world-hates-me Kid? Well, pick me up off the ground and knock me down again. She wants to go. Is begging to go. DYING TO GO. Get the picture? She feels she is in need of a change of scenery and a new adventure. Excuse me? This isn't a trip to Disney World sweetheart. (Even though we would be just a few hours from there). She begs me everyday to tell her I've made up my mind and we're going to start move next summer.

Can I be selfish for a moment? Truly? This is all I've every known!! I've moved from here twice in my life and only around 30-40 miles away and never for too long. I have friends that love me in spite of my sarcasm and brutal honesty. My mom is freaking next door, man!! She cooks when I don't feel like it!! And it's good!! Her health isn't the best. I worry about her. I take her to the doctor. I finally talked about it with my two closest friends. LF (life friend) and Chelle. Chelle and LF are mere acquaintances. I depend on both for my sanity. LF started crying time as I started talking about it. Everyday she calls me and before we're off the phone she is crying. We went to Virginia this past weekend and I called her when we left to come home and she made the comment that I was only gone a weekend and it drove her crazy. Chelle postponed her wedding so I could give birth and be in it. She has been battling secondary infertility for 2.5 years and I have battled beside her. Cheering her on...researching....backing her up. She just had a breakthrough surgery last week that should open the doors (literally and figuratively) for her to get pregnant. She is quiet when I tell her and then says she can't be selfish. I get upset saying that she will now get pregnant and I won't be here for her!!!! Yes, I too, am being selfish.

I want to go. I want one kinda sorta adventure before I settle in one place for the rest of my life. It's only for 2 years....3 years max. Then I will be back home to raise my kids and hopefully grow old gracefully . I want to be with my husband.

I just want every freaking body to be happy and I just don't know how to do it.

Friday, August 19, 2005

A Glimmer of Light in the Dark

I haven't posted lately because...well, because I didn't feel like I had anything bright and good to post about. That is so wrong. There is always a bright spot here and there, you just have to look. I looked today and there were quite a few once I got to looking.

1. I went to the doctor today. I had to rush rush to get everyone ready and myself ready. I had to rush to get them to school and get the baby to my SIL's armed with sausage biscuits to share with everyone. On the lovely 32 mile drive it started to rain. And I don't mean little bitty baby drops. It was pouring as in "If you don't have an ARK, you are in trouble". Crap. I could visualize my trusty umbrella propped against the back door. ~sigh~ I hoped it would stop by the time I got there. No such luck. As I sat there with the rain coming down so hard I couldn't even see the car next to me, I looked up and said "Lord, if you're there. Wait, I know you're there. BUT, if you are so inclined to listen right now, I sure could use an umbrella." I half-heartedly got on one knee to look around my mini-van. I caught a glimpse of something underneath my seat. It was a compact umbrella.

2. I finally bit the bullet and went to get that thingy on my spine checked out. I had no excuse not to anymore. I ran all over that hospitol. I went to get my MRI and they took so long I missed my appointment. They called and the office said to still come. Put it this way. I did so much running that I almost just walked out the door and said hang it all. Finally, I saw the doc. He looked at my MRI and my x-ray and turned to smile. He said I was hands down the easiest patient he had today. Apparently that tumor thing is a small mass of blood vessels. We pretty much all have them. Some larger than others. My spine? Lovely. Perfectly straight. No sign of arthritis no where to be found. Now I'm a big girl and I practically preened when he said "That's the best looking spine I've seen on a 34 year old white woman in a long time." All my problems are muscular. Mostly due to that last pregnancy. He suggested physical therapy. HA HA HA HA HA. Sir, I have 3 children. He told me that should be therapy enough. I just about skipped out of his office.

3. I had to cut the grass this evening. I neglected it last week because I had a fit of rebellion and just didn't do it. Won't do that again. Alas, the lawn mower wouldn't work. I just wanted to cry with frustration because I needed to get it done. When my Dad got home from work, I told him the problem. He sighed and we started working. 30 minutes later my baby and I were cutting grass. Vitt LOVES to ride the lawn mower. He would ride with anyone who is sitting on one. Well, my lines on my lawn are crooked. Why? Because he kept leaning back and putting his face up with lips puckered. Now tell me, people, how could you resist that?? I didn't. So I was giving kisses to the sweetest little fellow and my lines are crooked. Maybe it'll start a trend?

4. Paige and I have been both pms'ing together and I really couldn't tell you how we've lived to tell about it. Elvis and his snarl have nothing on me and my kid. As I was cutting, I needed the van moved just a few feet. I paused to tell her to get the keys and move it. What??? Are you serious?? You would have thought I gave her front row seats to a Hillary Duff concert. It was only 15-20 feet, but she was completely smooth. I heard her holler and when I looked, she made the motion as to ask if she could maybe drive it around the yard. Uh...NO. I made the throat slicing motion and she snarled. I was a hero for five minutes and it felt good.

5. My husband was taken to the ER yesterday with chest pains. I found out about it when he was back in the barracks and feeling no pain due to morphine. Chest tests came back all negative and he will do more within the next week or two. I was upset. Worried. Mad that he didn't call me when he first went. But you know what? He's ok. And the children and I are packing a bag and driving to see him tomorrow for the weekend. Do I want to drive? No. Will I? Yes. He is ok. My eyes have to verify this fact.

6. Makenna has informed me many times this week that homework bites. This sweet easygoing child is going to be the one to drive me crazy with homework. She did tell me that if it made me happy, she would give it a try...but it still bites. I put her hair in ponytails this morning and she swished her head back and forth to get the full effect while looking in the mirror. Obviously the look agreed with her and she turned to give me a big hug and an "I love you, Mommy! You made me cute!" Kiss my butt, I'm going to take full responsibility for that kid being cute.

7. On the way home there was a caravan of sorts. Huge HUGE trucks carrying tractors. One veered into my lane but whipped it back in the nick of time. I've heard that we're all assigned guardian angels to watch over us. Glad mine was on her/his toes and doing a good job.

I challenge you to find a glimmer of light. I know when I feel like I'm at the lowest I can get, God seems to fill my world with lightning bugs. Little glimmer of lights to help me find my way.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Friday Night

"Want to watch David Letterman's monologue before we go to bed?" my husband asked.

"Sure," I replied.

Then the phone rang. Folks you only get two kinds of news that late at night..close to midnight. There's trouble or someone has given birth and no one I knew was in labor at that time. I answered the phone when the caller i.d. showed my Life Friend (remember her from previous blog entry?) I get this....

"Call the law." (sobbing) "He's gone crazy" (Hearing loud hollering in background...crashing...profanity.)

"What???" is all I can think to say.

Phone hangs up.

I call back frantically. I just know he's done something so badly she can't get the phone. She answers with a whisper. I hear her child crying and it's so close that I know the child is being held in her lap. "What is going on???" I say..and loudly.

"He lost it. I don't know. He pushed me. Child saw it all. He's going to do something bad." I hear him in the background asking if she's on the phone and what could happen if she is. I tell her to NOT hang up and put the phone beside her so I can hear what's going on. I put my phone on speaker phone so Fred can hear what I'm hearing. All of a sudden I hear her cry "Please don't, X!! Please don't!! Child is right here! Please don't!!!" Phone hangs up.

Folks, I froze. It was like a bad accident. You know you should be doing something but you can't wrap your mind around what you've seen or heard. I unfreeze long enough to call a mutual friend. Her hubby answers the phone. I tell him that X is beating the crap out of Friend and someone needs to get over there NOW!!! Hubby tells Mutual Friend and she calls back. Her hubby won't go over there. I don't blame him. Fred won't let me go and I know X is beyond drunk and I would fear for my own self if I was stupid enough to go in. In the meantime I have called back and she is on my phone (speakerphone on) so that M.F. (mutual friend) can hear through the cell phone what is going on. She borrows another cell phone and calls 9-1-1. Why didn't I call??? I DON'T KNOW. All I could think was that that baby needed to get out of there and I couldn't go help. Those five minutes were some of the most confusing of my life! Friend tells me that she called 9-1-1 also and didn't say anything. She is whispering to me because the phone is beside her and X doesn't know she's on the phone. 9-1-1 calls her back and I tell her stay on the phone with one of us. I was a shaking mess. Finally after 50 years...more like 20 minutes...she comes on the line to let me know the law was there and he was handcuffed and put in the patrol car.

"Do you need me?" I ask.

"No, I'm fine"..she starts sobbing. I am on the cell phone with Mutual Friend. At the same time we both said...."I'll meet you there."

I hang up the phone and start to dress. Never looked at Fred or said anything. My pure focus was on getting to my that baby. I come back to him sitting on the couch and start apologizing. Our time is so limited and here I am running off at 1 a.m. to the aid of someone else. He simply looks at me and says..."She needs you. You have to go. Just take your cell. " I loved him so much at that moment.

The whole way over there I mutter and fuss to myself. It's only a few miles but it felt like I was driving across country. I assumed that they had taken X and was gone. I pull in the yard and there are two patrol cars...with X locked up in the back of one. I don't even look his way. I can't. I am shaking. I go in the house and the officer is taking the report. I don't say a word but go straight to the baby who is clinging to mom's shirt. It was like the child had taken a bath in fear. I take Child gently away so Mommy can talk to the nice officer. Child starts sobbing. I croon and hold and say nonsense things. Child tells me they need to be with Mommy. They have to take care of Mommy. I told Child that they had done a wonderful job and that Aunty Hope was going to take care of Mommy for a while. Child consented to sit on couch with blankie and puppy and rest. I go back to Friend to hear her tell of what happened. Officer is nice and very compassionate. Apparently X thought of fighting officers when they came in. Mistake. BIG mistake. He changed his mind quick-like and went peaceably.

I start looking around. Oh my. The recliner is overturned. The dressers in the bedroom have been ripped out and clothes are strung everywhere. Then glory be! There's a huge hole the size of an elephant's fist in the wall beside my head. Mutual Friend turns up and the officer wraps things up. Says he's going to get his camera to take pictures of house. Dude came back in with some cheesy butt instant polaroid camera. I raise an eyebrow. When he finally leaves and Friend has much deserved breakdown, I ask for her digi cam. When in hand, I start taking my own set of pictures. It's good to have backup in this world. Besides, digital showed the broken bedroom door better...the color in the clothes strung everywhere...the hugeness of the hole in the wall.

I made it home around 3:30 a.m. Exhausted. Mentally. The house was straightened...Child put to bed. Friend hanging in there.

Now I have to say this. On the way over there I was thinking....Be a little bit more redneck, would ya, bud? Oh, I was pissed. Then after I left and was driving home I realized something. This happens every day of the week. Women are abused...children are witnesses. And doesn't just happen to the regular folk. It's every where!!! There are lawyers, doctors, professors, brokers, CEOs that come home...drink too much...and just freaking flip out. I exclaimed while over at Friend's that I was too old for this crap. Then I realize...there are women who deal with this until they die in their 70's,80's ..or until hubby dies first. I can't fathom it. I really can't. I had a bad relationship one time...way back in my misguided youth that ended with a call for domestic violence. Never again.

I am still upset because she wants to drop the charges. When she went for the bail hearing...the judge said no contact whatsoever until court date. She can't go that long without contact. There are bills to pay. Why don't the courts think of this??? You tell the couple no contact and then how is she supposed to pay the bills???? I don't think she would lose the house or car in 5 weeks, but we all realize how far behind a person can get if they miss one payment. I am just seething about the system and how it "protects" the victim....just doesn't care if they lose everything they own in the process.

Monday, August 08, 2005

No Fear

This has been a weekend. I want to post about it in greater detail but must first collect my thoughts better than what they are now. Instead, I will tell you about the first day back at school.

Notice the title of my post. No Fear. My girls are fearless thus far in this world. We picked out "THE" outfit last night so it could be ironed and just right.(that's a joke- I didn't want to run around like a froot loop chicken this morning) Makenna wore her new beach pants. They are pastel striped and adorable. Really popular pants this close to the beach. A matching pink tank top type shirt completed it with Rainbow sandals. She was pleased with the look and I breathed a sigh of relief. One to go. Paige and I discussed what was going to look seriously cute and we came up with a green Tommy shirt with white piping and writing and white bermuda shorts. Nice. Neat and, in her Sweet..we're cooking with gas here, folks. And yes, I took pictures this morning. Thought the battery was going to die on the digi cam and I was going to have to draw them free hand on printer paper but I got some doable takes. (no, I cannot draw, that's why I almost panicked when it looked like the battery was puttering out)

Back packs were done by last Thursday and I believe Paige repacked hers a couple dozen times. Drove me insane! Makenna? That sister got all her stuff jammed inside and never opened it again until she got to school this morning. Yeah, that's my kid.

Off we went this morning. I dropped Paige off first because I wanted to walk Mak in at her school. We pull up in line at the Middle school and Paige is smooth. I ask her if she's nervous. I get the "Are you serious?" look again. "Uh...Mom...I'm a sophomore this year...I'm set". Yeah, ok, baby. I did get a kiss and a "I love you" when she got out and there she went. Swinging that messenger bag like nobody's business...already calling out to a friend. She never looked back. No Fear.

Here we go to the Elementary school. I park the van and get out to get Vitt out of his seat behind mine. Already I have friends calling out to me as they walk back to their cars after delivering their own children. Have I mentioned that I love a small town?? It so rocks. We walk in and I look beside me at this child who has her head held high..big grin on her face. We get to the classroom and her teacher comes and greets me with a hug. Explanation. Paige had this same teacher in 1st grade. I didn't request this, but believe it's awesome that Mak got her too. At that time, I was going through a bad separation and divorce and this teacher was the best thing ever to happen to Paige. We greeted each other this morning with a happy to share another year together. And Mak? She walks in..does her thing and sits right down. Excuse me? Don't I get a kiss? A hug? (Insert eye rolling and a quick jump up to comply). Time for me to go. I get to the door and take one quick look back. She is already turned and chatting with the kid behind her. She doesn't even know I'm gone. No Fear.

We get home and I do what I promised myself I would do. I got a cup of coffee and turned on Good Morning America. Oh no...Peter Jennings died last night. What a great loss. He was probably the only one I could stomach for the most part.

Little Man (aka Vitt) is in heaven. He has the joint all to himself and he intends to make the most of it. He comes back and forth to get HUGE bites of the banana I am holding out for him. I get engrossed in the t.v. and look just in time. Vitt has climbed on the back of the computer chair..til his upper torso is hanging over the back. He is grinning and calling "Mama!!". Just as the chair starts to tilt over, I jump up...catch it and Him before it crashes to the floor. He laughs great big belly laughs. No Fear.

I'm glad we are raising kids that have no fear. Now it's time to teach them the difference between no fear and stupidity. There's such a fine line between the two. I admit to having a hard time telling the difference sometimes. The thing is, I don't know which one to start with?

Thursday, August 04, 2005

A Makenna Quote....

A classic Makenna quote:

"My head hurts........and I'm not even thinking!!"

amen, baby. I feel your pain.

Another quote:

"This back pack isn't going to match all my clothes."

she's such a fashion diva.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Back in High School ...part 2...

Back in High School I thought I was fat.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Monday, August 01, 2005

Back In High School.....

Back in high school the group of us would sit and day dream about how our lives would turn out. Everyone agreed on this prophecy for me:

Hope will end up living in an apartment because it's low maintenance. She will have the most awesome career ever. She will wear the coolest clothes and when she greets you at the door, it will be with a glass of wine in her hand. They all declared that I would be totally sophisticated.

Dear Joseph and the shepherds. Can I get some monetary compensation for them being so wrong? I live in a a SAHM.....of 3 kids. I have to do everything maintenance wise because...well, I'm the only one who will do it around here. I am involved with the Girl Scouts and am in my 8th year of taking to and from dance classes. What happened?

Oh. And I couldn't tell you what a good wine is to save my life.