Sunday, October 29, 2006


Why it's nice to live in the same house as your spouse.

Because if you're really tired and if you don't take a nap, you'll just die......

You can do it and the kids will get something to eat and get in bed and you won't be a negligent mother and Child Protective Services won't have to get involved.

Almost two years of being on my own with three kids while my husband protects OUR country.........

Being with him makes me appreciate him even more.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Life Happens

Life happens sometimes, ya know? For someone who is a stay at home mom, I'm too busy for my own good sometimes.

Makenna started dance. I bit the bullet and put that baby back in dance class. This studio is a little bit more professional than the one she attended back home. When I went to sign her up, I noticed the owner/teacher was a tad uptight. I say this because I tend to shoot off my mouth when I don't like something. The teacher informed me that Makenna would be wearing a pink leotard. Really? I said...I have at least 4 black ones at home, surely she can wear one of those. (Leotards are pricey, people!) She blinked. Hard. Then she informed me that Makenna wasn't up to that level as of yet. I see. Then I said...what is this? Like karate class? Colored leotards for levels? I was told that yes, indeed, it was like that. This woman was really into her studio and classes and I didn't want to burst her self imposed bubble and tell her that I have no intentions of sending Makenna to Julliard. I just want my kid to do something she enjoys...socialize a little bit...learn a little bit of grace and posture. So, I bit the bullet and went shopping. Quite a few dollars later, we had the pink leotard and new tights.

She came home from the first day ticked off. Apparently the teacher told the class they "were boring and needed to jazz things up." But, does she want to quit? Nope. She's gonna jazz it up some more. Next class was better. Either the class cooperated or the teacher was over whatever snit she was in the week before.

Paige got into the gifted class. YaY! For a moment. This school is kicking butt and taking names. She's struggling somewhat and she's never had to struggle with school. It's always come easy. She's already wanting to ditch the gifted and move down a level to AP classes. And I'm not going to let her. She hasn't really given it a chance yet and I won't raise my children to bail at the first sign of trouble. No sir. But to be honest? It's probably gonna end up kicking my butt and Fred's, too. The "discussions" we have to have with that kid are wearing us out. But I'm not giving up. Middle school is some hard junk. The girls are mean....the teachers are hard...and the boys act stupid. Ahhh, remember the good old days, folks?

Makenna. This is sweet. She came home from school with a paper for me to sign that stated the school wants to test her for the gifted program. She was so excited. She ran up to me with the paper and said....."Look, Mama! They want to test me for gifted! I think this means I might be a little bit smart!" Bless her heart. I agreed that she might be a little bit smart, too. She's blooming before my very eyes.

Vitt. He's a snob. We're working on potty training and while he's not completely ready...he will cooperate and go alot. I've bought Luv diapers and Pampers. Luvs are around the house and Pampers are overnight and go off. He refuses to wear the Luvs. Apparently he likes the stretchy goodness of the Pampers. The snobbery? He gets that from his dad.

So, that's a brief catch-up on our household. I still can't discuss Fred and how he's not on a boat right now and how I'm back to belonging to nothing and how the Navy is just a bunch of negligent overpaid jerks. I'm afraid I might get charged with treason and sent to Guantanamo Bay...........

Monday, October 09, 2006


Let me start by saying that I really never knew anything about NASCAR until I met my Yankee husband.*

All I knew was that there was a major track near my home and I would pass by it from time to time.**

So, Fred and I started dating. And he really like watching the races on Sunday. And I liked taking a nap. We have a really good workable system, you see. He watches the race and I doze. It's like the words, "Gentlemen, start your engines!"*** .....why those words have ether in them and I will literally pass out. And usually I will wake at the end of the race to see the grand finale. Has worked for me for a few years now.

Fred pulls for Dale, Jr. ~shrugs~ Whatever. Sure, I'll pull for him because I am ignorant in the ways of the sacred NASCAR. I will admit, though, that the few interviews I've seen...I've become a little partial to that bad boy Tony Stewart. Plus, that darling beautiful eyed Carl Edwards. He can do a back flip for me any day of the week.

Yesterday's race was in Talladega. That's in Alabama. And it's in the middle of nowhere. I know this because on our cross-country treks...we've gone past it. And it's a long race at Dega. Very long. Long enough for me to take a good nap and enjoy more laps at the end than I really care to.

Dale Jr. was close to taking it home yesterday. And that no-talent Vickers made sure he was SO not a hero. In a nutshell, he caused a fellow team mate to bump D.J. on the LAST FREAKING LAP...causing them to wreck...therefore coming up and winning.

All I gotta say is this.

If I was Dale Jr., I would do my "it's all good...that's how racing goes" speech, then I'd hunt that Vickers boy down....pull him behind the garage...and beat the living crap out of him.

THEN....(if I was Dale Jr.), I would have the biggest butt party you EVAH did see back at the house and totally not invite Vickers to it and make sure he knew that everyone got to play on Dale's backyard go-cart track. I would even go so far as to do a documentary of that day.

Okay. I am through being a redneck. I was just ...well, pissed at the injustice of it all. Here I am, trying to teach my kids to be fair, to play fair....and here's a grown man .......humph.

Good thing? After Makenna found out Dale was starting 33rd, she wasn't interested. She only watches if he's in the front from the beginning.

*I really believe that a Yankee is defined by being from out of the "circle". My husband says my circle is very small and unforgiving. ~shrugs~ It's my circle.

**Darlington RaceWay-The Track Too Tough To Tame

***Makenna can sing the National Anthem....and at the end she yells (everytime) "Gentlemen! Start your engines!" She's got to be the prettiest redneck around.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Road To Ruin

My sweet Makenna.

Yesterday was our six month checkup at the dentist. I decided to just take a long weekend and stick with our dentist we've been with for forEVAH. Mak and Paige went back first. When Stacey, our dental hygienist*, brought Makenna out, she said Mak had a teeny tiny cavity that needed to be fixed. Our dentist is so wonderful. He decided to work Makenna in and fix that cavity before we left so I wouldn't have to rush and find a dentist here in Georgia.

While I was having my teeth cleaned by Ms. Stacey, they took Makenna on back. I made the comment that I hoped they wouldn't have to numb her mouth because we were eating lunch afterwards. It's amazing how Stacey and I can have a conversation while I have my teeth cleaned. We were almost done when I saw Makenna out of the corner of my eye.

She was wobbling around and snorting. Apparently they hit her with laughing gas. And it took. Very well. She was giggling and stumbling around. Talking about how they told her to breathe through her nose and all she saw was these two weird faces above her head. Talking about how she couldn't think straight and that was okay because..."THIS STUFF IS COOL!!!".

Stacey and I laughed so hard, I'm sure I had mascara down my face. Bless her heart. We put her in a chair in the cubicle where I was and she would be quiet....then all of a sudden start snorting and laughing over whatever was floating around in her head. I have no idea how my teeth were finished.

She ventured out into the waiting room with Paige and Fred. She ran into a glass wall. Paige got her jollies for the day off of Makenna.

As we were driving home down the interstate, I made the comment to Fred:

"So this is how kids get started on drugs. They go to the dentist and get hit by laughing gas and it's so cool they want more."

*I looked the word hygienist up so it's spelled right. HA! That's my work for the day.