Sunday, July 31, 2005

It's that time again...well, almost

It's countdown time!! School starts in a week..August 8 to be exact and we are almost ready for lift off! Clothes are pretty much bought and have been laid out and put together to form at least SIX combinations for the first day. Have you any idea how important it is to be PERFECT the first day of sixth grade???? I didn't think so. I finally realized that even though I have been asked my opinion when a combination was formed.....she really didn't want my .02. ouch. I gave up and told her she was on her own. First grade? We're cool. We got new sneakers and a blue jean miniskirt. Life can't get any finer, people. That kid is sooo smooth.

I refuse to think about the time I will have when school starts back. Even though practically every afternoon after school is taken with one activity or another....those 6 sweet hours with only the little one around? ahhhhhhhh......can you say "I believe I will have another cup of coffee and watch Good Morning America a little more"?? I have not seen that show all summer long. Before I can get my feet on the floor that 6 year old of mine has propped herself up quite nicely on the couch with remote in hand and Disney and Nickelodeon is going full blast.

I realize that mostly all I write about is my kids. I guess that goes with the territory of being a Stay At Home Mom. The kids are our lives. And, yes, I chose it to be that way. It's my career choice at the moment. One thing that alot of people don't realize is that kids are funny. My kids are a major reason as to why my weak bladder won't ever have a chance at recovery. I have a friend who after giving birth twice had such a nonreliable bladder, she was buying stock in Depends. We were sitting around talking one day whilst the kiddies played and she said ..."Ya know, I got money saved up for a patio. I've wanted one for so long and finally decided to save the money for it. Now I got crappy insurance because I'm self employed. The choice came down to....Patio or Bladder Tack" We were sitting on the sweetest looking patio ever at the time. At her house. Go figure. That's ok Ms. H....Walmart has Depends every day of the week.

I fear that I bore the scant few that visit my site. I know they visit because they are friends and we like to support each other in the adventure of blogging and then my husband visits just to be nosy. He won't even leave a comment! How sorry is that?

Just a note here. We went shopping this weekend at the beach for the school clothes. For those who don't live near some Factory Outlet Stores. ...well, I am just so sorry. I ventured into the Tommy Hil. store. Was sure I wasn't going to buy anything. Dear Mercy. I got 2 pair of jeans for Makenna and two shirts for Paige for 50 bucks. I will go back. Anyway...(sidetracked again) my friends went along with me, SIL, my two girls and her daughter. We had an incredible girls' day out. We did lunch, had crappy service, and got our appetizers and tea free! Nice. As I was sitting on a bench outside of a store I saw something very interesting. There was a group of teens sitting down not far from me. They were surrounded by shopping bags. And, folks, I mean surrounded. They were taking some stuff out to show a compadre their new duds. My eyes narrowed as I watched them. I will bet you a hundred dollars those kids' parents gave them the plastic and said...go get what you need. My kids will never know that pleasure. Hate it for them.

Just for the record also. LOVING Rock Star INXS. I admit to going online and voting and reading the rockers' blogs. Semi-enjoying Big Brother 6. Watching Brat Camp and realizing that I probably could never send my kid there. Why? Folks, that a whoooole 'nother post. Might have to get into it one day soon. Waiting impatiently for Lost and Survivor to start up again. I'm almost through with the withdrawals from not seeing a new episode of Lost.

Last but not one week I will have the pure pleasure of NOT hearing any kiddie shows unless I need a diversion for the baby. I shiver in anticipation.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

In Case I have O-ffended Anyone.

I realized I might have offended some people with my last post. If I didn't, disregard this, please.

About Rednecks. Some people are offended when called this particular term. Some embrace it and even wear the tshirt to prove it. My Life Friend ( I call her this because we have been friends since we were 7 years old. She no longer qualifies for title Best Friend because we have so much history ..good and bad...between us, that we know that we can count on each other no matter what and we will always have each other's back) and I were talking the other day and she told me about her weekend. She went to this little honkey-tonk bar last weekend and proceeded to get in a fight while there. Tsk tsk. I asked her if it felt good to go "redneck". Another friend was present and seemed puzzled. I proceeded to tell her my redneck theory. You see, we all have redneck in us. Every single person born on this planet. Some of us may be able to suppress it and never let it surface. Others let it surface one time and like it so good...they never put it back inside. There are different things that can set the redneck out in a person. It could have been when that chick was talking to your boyfriend back in high school and you KNOW you wanted to kick her butt. You might have given in to the might not have. It could be that turkey driving in front of you that cut you off and you thought some not so nice thoughts about. It could be something as simple as a telemarketer that calls at a very inopportune (man, I hope that's spelled right) time. Have I ever gone redneck?? But, of course. I can give you one example that comes to mind right away.

Back in my youth....I'd say around age 19.....we (we-being a big group of people that all hung around together) used to sneak off to this little hole in the wall bar. Notice a trend here? Bars'll do it everytime. My best friend at the time was dating this guy. Me? I just went to party, friends. So there we were, having a high ol' time. Some lite-brite (notice- this is sarcasm at its highest) decided to bring some friends from college...fresh meat. Now, I attended this college (which is now a University) and knew these people. I just didn't think it was the brightest idea to bring new girls into the mix. So, this gal decides that my friend's man looks mighty tasty. She flirts. And flirts. We are slightly tolerant because we've had a few and he appeared to be ignoring her for the most part. Fast forward to the dance floor and dance classic "You Dropped the Bomb on Me" as loud as it can be. Said New Girl decides to ask Best Friend's man to dance. Remember Dirty Dancing? Yeah, it wasn't good, folks. Best Friend is over to the side and as I stand and watch (realize I had no forewarning of this....), Best Friend biddy-bops on over to New Girl and taps her on the shoulder. She grins and motions for New Girl to follow her to the edge of the dance floor. New Girl complies. By the time they reach the edge of the dance floor.....Best Friend turns around and SOCKS New Girl with a left hook. I start going towards them. New Girl (who really shocked us with this because she appeared so 'high society') breaks beer bottle on edge of table and starts for Best Friend. I manage to grab New Girls long beautiful locks of hair and wrap it around my hand. Next thing I know, 3 guys are pulling me away and Best Friend and New Girl are going at it. Now that wasn't fair, was it? Fast Forward again 30 minutes and we're outside. Totally mad...ok pissed. Drinking again. New Girl is in bathroom being petted. Boyfriend is staying out of it. All the girls are outside that matter. I could name names now but we're all contributing members of society now and it wouldn't look good if anyone got a hold of this. Call me if you really want to know who this was. heh heh. One Nameless Friend comes up with a brilliant idea. Since New Girl is not welcome and Boyfriend didn't act as he seemed reasonable that they both pay. So we let all the air out of their tires. Yep all of them. Do you know how loud that is??????? We all go home shortly thereafter. Boyfriend rides with Best Friend. We care not where New Girl is. We find out the next day that Boyfriend's buddy and New Girl both drove their cars. A good distance. They were too buzzed to realize they had flat tires. All 8 had to be replaced. They were cut beyond repair. Oops. We are all hanging out again the next night and Boyfriend and Co. are completely over the edge angry. They insist on knowing who did such a foul thing. We still carry the secret to this day. We went redneck, folks.

So redneck is not a derogatory term. No, not at all. We all have moments in our lives. Why, when I have to deal with my ex-husband....I see red on a regular basis. He makes me want whup on his butt bigtime. I'm sure there are those of you who can understand.

So if I offended anyone, I apologize. But, now you know it was said in love and respect. I love a redneck better than the next person. I tell you what....they're the best thing to have in your back pocket in a crisis.

Just so you know. I don't do that stuff anymore. I don't drink. I don't visit bars....

I just think really bad thoughts I repent for later.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

It is Official Folks.....

I have stated this at least twice out loud today.

If Hell is hotter than where I am, then I want no part of it.

Nuff said on that.

Ahhhh summertime. Lovely time of year. Time for sandals and cute skirts. Time for peach lip gloss and ponytails. HUMPH. It's a time for you to wear your Rainbow flip flops (and then your feet STILL sweat and slide around in the said flops- causing you to walk around with a perpetual sprained ankle) because you simply can't bear to wear more than you have to....anywhere. And you want to live in the Big Boy because it's too miserable to just sit around outside, so the idea of a refreshing pool seems to be a good idea? Ponytails? HA. This kind of weather causes you to do like me...go cut your hair off and when you get out of the Big Boy, you just put a visor on and deal with it. The thought of a hair dryer makes you whimper. And makeup? Of any kind? You have GOT to be kidding me. It's like turning the heat on full blast in a wax museuum. Bad idea, people. Bad idea.

We all ran to the sweet clear water of the Big Boy yesterday. Even my mom and dad got in- it has been that hot. They never get in but on Saturdays mostly. So, the adults are sitting around the edges whilst the kiddies play in the middle when I take note of just how hot the water is. I comment..."This is the biggest durned hot tub I ever did see". Funny...everyone else was thinking the same exact thing.

Other than that, the summer is moving along. Paige is wearing her cast out. Literally. That kid is a marvel. I've let her take another round of swim lessons this week. Hey, the doctor said she could swim and shower. Go for it, sister. I sincerely didn't realize that the fiberglass covering (which is black with pink stripes, btw) would actually fade! It seriously is. The heel is mushy and slightly cracked. Mr. Cast Guy said this would be normal with a walking cast. Uh...ok. She showed how shabby her cast was becoming today and I begged her.....Pleeeeeease, make it last one more week. You only have one more week. We will get in trouble with Mr. Cast Guy if we go begging for another one. You know they might cut you off and not give you another water cast. Ok? Ok????? She agreed. Her foot is still immobile and I'm holding on to that fact. *still crossing fingers we won't get in trouble next week when she goes to see if she can be freed from the blasted thing*

Went to see Herbie Fully Loaded last week. Kids loved it. I had a problem with it. And I discussed this with my hubby. See....this car was able to race in a Nascar race. Are you kidding me? Dear Sweet Man of mine is a fan of the race and being so has made me spend many a Sunday afternoon with engines droning in the background of my dreams as I take my Sunday nap. Of course no one can sleep through a whole race because they drive 254,876,496 miles per race (and when and where do they pee??? I need to know this). I will ask questions upon awakening. I need to know how Dale Jr. is doing since that is who we pull for. And my hubby..being the anal being that he is...will explain EVERYTHING in great detail so you feel as if you have attended class. I promise it will leaving you wondering "When did I pay tuition? What was my question again?" ANYWAY......of course Herbie goes on to win the race. I'm sure I'm not giving anything away when I say this either. He then proceeds to do do-nuts in the infield (where were the campers, people? And the rednecks? See? This was NOT a bona fide Nascar race.) My six year old then proceeds to shout the theater....."DO-NUTS!!!!!!! WOO HOOO". I kid you not. She enjoyed the movie.

I may have to drive to Virginia next weekend. With 3 kids. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. Again.

Fred is holding Harry Potter hostage. No, not really. He got the book from the exchange and will be bringing it to us this coming weekend. I am so ready to get lost in Hogwarts again. Paige and I are at war over who is going to read it first. Please. I am bigger. I am meaner. I am older. I will win. The book is mine. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. She is not happy. I must admit though. We were in town yesterday and it took all I had NOT to swing into the Books a Million parking lot and go in and buy one. My patience is running low.

So it is official:
~ The cast may or may not make it another week.
~ My 6 year old watches too much Nascar.
~ I will read Harry in less than 3 days.
~ I don't want to go to Hell. Me and heat don't mix well.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I Pledge Allegiance

Did I spell that word right? Where is spellcheck on this thing!

My new method of discipline. My oldest child..yes, the one in counselling...has the meanest sounding voice. It just oozes nastiness and folks, I'm tired of it. It's just not acceptable. This past Friday found my knot unraveling(sp?) and I was about to be thrown completely over the edge. Fred wasn't home and I wasn't happy. I haven't had a break in weeks and it's starting to show. Anyway, I digress. Paige's voice was just too much. I told her to stop what she was doing and stand straight and tall. I got the "Are you for real?" look. I told her to put her hand over her heart. Again.."You feeling ok, mom?" look. I told her to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Now we get...."Are you freaking kidding me???" look. I assure her that I am indeed serious. Now, she's pissed. She recites the Pledge through gritted teeth...spitting the whole time. She finishes. I tell it again. The more she said it, the better her voice got. After the sixth time, I told her that was the nicest tone of voice and to please keep that tone in order not to have to recite again. By golly, it worked...for a day. Next day we (Dad, Paige and myself) are outside cleaning vehicles. I simply can't stand a nasty vehicle and my husband's car is held together by dirt. If he were to wash it, it would simply fall apart from shock! So, we're outside working and we are hurrying because a cloud is coming and we want to be done. I tell her to hurry cleaning out our van so we can wash it. She starts to holler at me. Right then and there I make her stop and recite the Pledge. My dad says not a word. She almost refuses. Staring down the nozzle of the water hose changed her mind. I got a sincere compliment from my Dad. He told me that was a fine way of punishing while teaching at the same time. Huh. Go figure.

We had a "swimming in rose petals" day today. Yes, that was sarcastic. Put it this way...Paige wrote a lovely 1000 word essay titled "Why I am so Upset". Man, her dad has done a number on this child with the vacation deal. Hope he's having a lovely time down at the beach ..he should...he hasn't paid the child support yet. Want to know the crazy thing? She actually enjoyed writing that stupid paper! She is SO my child!

Am supposed to go to the neuro tomorrow. Going to reschedule again. No babysitter for Vitt. Fine by me...the thought of it scares me to death.

Can someone tell me how it feels to have a moment to yourself? I'm just curious...doesn't appear that I'm going to get one anytime soon.......

Thursday, July 07, 2005

I spoke too soon....

I knew I spoke too soon. Oh, how much has happened since we last met. Where, oh where, do I start?

Paige broke her foot last week. Oh, yes she did. We were visiting my grandmother as it was raining outside(so no swimming). Paige was bored. And that was probably because all the attention wasn't on her. She asked to go outside. I said no because she needs to learn how to sit and visit...especially with elderly. As soon as I got involved in a conversation with my grandmother and aunt...she and Makenna sneak outside. Not even 3 minutes later, Makenna is back in screaming that Sissy broke her foot. Apparently they decided to jump off of the porch. No reason. Just being kids. Remember I said it was raining? Uh was wet....and slippery. She landed wrong. I won't lie. I proceeded to fuss at her. She could move her toes and ankle so I asuumed it was a sprain. I bring her home, elevate it, give her Motrin and think it'll be ok in a day or two. She can't walk. I assume...again...she's in drama queen mode. Next day it's swollen and I get to thinking. Maybe...just wouldn't hurt to take her in and get checked out by a professional who has attended school for such instances as this. I call and consult with her dad (have I mentioned he works for EMS?). He is of the mindset that it is sprained also. I agree but insist that I'm going to take her in to be seen...just for peace of mind. We go. X-ray is taken. She's got two broken bones on the top. Well, glory be. (insert two shocked faces here) We are headed to a specialist the next morning first thing because a bone is displaced. Oh, dear Lord. They have me prepared for sugery....6-8 weeks on crutches...and a totally altered summer way of living. This kid caught a pun intended. We (and I saw we because I'm in this for the long haul) got the best deal going. She gets the cast for 4 surgery....AND..get this!!..AND a WATER WALKING cast. Yes, you read it right! A walking cast that can go in water. Some new fangled NASA technology I'm sure but she can bathe AND swim in this bad boy. It cost extra since insurance doesn't have a price for a parent's peace of mind but I did not care. I told Mr. Cast Man to set it up right. So, she is now sporting a hot pink with a neon green barberpole stripe cast. And it is cool. She is independant again.

Want to hear the crap part of it? The girls were set to go with Dad and his family on vacation to lovely Hilton Head next week for the entire week. Don't let the name fool you. He wouldn't ever be able to go to a place like that if it wasn't for his mother-in-law having a time share jerk. ANYWAY, he has decided that Paige can't go. Why ever not? Because of medical reasons. I simply can't go into all the detail now because I will lose religion completely and starting spouting off names that I've promised not to say again. But that's ok...because he wants to take Makenna. Leave Paige but take Makenna. I don't think so. It's a all or nothing package deal. I won't have Paige suffer the break...the dissing of not getting to go on the trip AND her little sister coming back and talking of nothing but the good time she had. Just can't do it people. And I didn't make this decision hastily. I consulted with Paige's counsellor and a lawyer. I feel justified in making this decision. Now he has threatened to take me back to court. YES!!! Let's go, Man!!! I'll get the 3 years you owe in medical bills and a few other things you are in contempt of court over. ahhhhhh..don't let me fool you. I hate the thought of going back but if I gotta go...You can be dang sure there will be a nice tidy little row of ducks following behind me. I'm lining those babies up as we speak. I'll keep you posted as to what happens. I know a little bit of money surely would help out with school clothes real soon. hmmmmmmm.......

Fred's not coming home this weekend. I so hate that. Really really really hate that. He's staying to study for some of the Navy blah blah blah I've mentioned. Humph. I won't start on all of that because it just doesn't matter what I think. I might realize that sooner or later, but I doubt it. I just seriously can't imagine why everyone doesn't want to know what I think?? I may piss and moan but the man (that being my Fred) knows that I love him and have no intentions of stopping and that I will eventually get over it. All I gotta say is that if he goes to Italy on a tour...Mama better get a REAL nice goody box sent home.

I will try to post more regularly but I gotta catch a break around here! Paige broke her foot...Vitt stepped into a fire ant bed and got over 60 something bites on his foot. Come on people!! A friend of mine stated it so eloquently when we were speaking via yahoo the other night. She has 5 kids so we can relate somewhat. She said...the more kids you have, the more you up your chances of someone being sick or hurt. She's so smart. Her odds aren't so good right now..she's got 2 that are sick. Bless you Ms J!!

I am off to bed now. Paige and I are up and out early tomorrow morning. We're going to get her cast checked out because she has a soft spot on her heel and apparently that's not supposed to happen. She's already decided that if she gets a new's going to be black with a hot pink stripe. BTW..she's still doing really well. I thought this deal with her dad would send her over the edge but she's hanging in there. I took her face in my hands and looked her in the eye and told her...I would never EVER leave you behind. I promise. Do you believe me? She said yes ma'am. Times like this makes me wish I were a queen. I'd lock his sorry tail up in a dark dark dark dungeon on the back end of the country naked in the dead of winter. I really would.

Til we meet again.............