Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I understand

Yes, I understand I am a bad blogger. I accept this and fully resolve to make it all better.


You see, school started back but that didn't slow me down. Different types of appointments took the place of the summer appointments and running around took a whole new frantic meaning.

I've had thoughts I've wanted to share with you all. Ohhhhhhh, the thoughts I've had. So many that I'm afraid I may have lost some in the recesses of my brain and they'll never have a chance to be shared with you. Moving on now because that just makes me sad.

Tomorrow my Makenna has surgery on her sinuses. I have watched this sweet child of mine very closely the past month or so and I've noticed a few things. The bridge of her nose always looks bruised. She has dark circles under her eyes from waking up constantly to nose bleeds, therefore getting no real rest. She sleeps when she gets home from school and she has never been a child to do that...unless sick. Her skin is so very pale. Middle of winter pale. She doesn't look like she had an amazing summer full of fun and sun (she's felt too badly to go outside much). Her beautiful white blonde hair has lost it's luster. It has a dull blonde look to it now. I know part of it is from aging, puberty, and etc. Her sister went through this. It just doesn't look healthy. She doesn't look healthy. I've got to do what I can to get her well.

I have sweet pictures of my Boy's first day of school. He has such a love for Kindergarten. My focus has been fully on him for long. Now, he's doing great and thriving. I'm doing my best to step back and let him breathe, find his way in Big Boy School, and just be five. I am just in constant awe of this little guy who has just blossomed before our eyes. He has become a wonderful source of entertainment around our home.

That Miss Paige. Whew. Girlfriend had herself a hard summer but I think she's going to be okay. She started off her Sophomore (Sophomore? When did I get a kid that old??) on a strong foot with studying and being on top of her work. Because of some not so good summer decisions, her cell phone now no longer works between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. Smartest thing we ever could have done. Being fifteen is hard. If you had it easy at fifteen? Then hush. You are rare and the rest of us don't want to have to beat you up over it. I love my Baby Girl and I know she's going to come out shining and better for having learned the hard way.

I know I have to do a Summer 2009 post. Finances didn't let us take a nice fancy vacation. I scrounged around and was able to find us a few fun things to do that didn't break the bank. We were together as a family and made some amazing memories. Yes, I have pictures and will share with you soon.

Have I mentioned my husband retires in a little less than a month? Have I mentioned that I have never been so stressed in my entire flippin' life? I have this sense of urgency overcoming me all the time. This is why Makenna is having surgery tomorrow. This HAS to be done before retirement. I want to get taken care of what I can before having to learn to deal with a whole new insurance. Dentist appointments have taken on a whole new meaning. It's just crazy, I tell you. We've had eyes checked and new glasses bought (yep, got a picture of those, too!).

I have become very dependant on my cell phone. I have alarms for any and all appointments. It goes off constantly, Internets. If I lose my phone? I am so up a creek without a paddle. What's even worse is that I make Paige and The Man put the alarms in their phones...just in case I lose mine. Oh, what have I become???

I have become "that weird woman". I called today to make a doctor's appointment for some time in the next week. When asked why I needed to see the doctor, I replied, "Because I'm crazy." Appointment Lady laughs and says she really doesn't want to put that down as the reason. She said..."What about a med check?" I said, "Oh yeah, that's perfect, because we're gonna be CHECKING some meds OUT!" Bless her, she was a good sport. I believe she knew I wasn't joking but was keeping it lite so I didn't flip out on the phone with her.

I also want to say I've done this post today because my very good friend Girlfriend Down the Street was fussing about my poor blogging skills. G.D.S. keeps me tickled on face*of*books all the time. She no longer lives close to me, but I'm keeping her close to my heart. We Southern Gals tend to do that, you know.

Tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m., I'll be handing over my child in the care of strangers. I'll sit and worry until I touch her face again. I'll pray and text and probably snap at The Man because he's sitting there and he loves me enough to take it. If you are so inclined? Prayers that all goes well will be truly appreciated.

Next week should be my time to truly catch up. I will be here at The Edge keeping Makenna company as she recovers some. Not sure how many days she'll get all depends on the surgery and how extensive it ends up being when he gets up in those sinuses of hers.

You all keep playing nice....I'll be back shortly!