Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Confession

I am so stinkin' excited for this Christmas I can't hardly stand myself.

My whole life I've known that Christmas is the most magical and wonderful time of the year. My Grandaddy loved him some Christmas. He'd start singing carols around Thanksgiving and every time someone would come around, he'd start belting one out. Did I mention he really couldn't sing that well? This time of year, I miss that man more than I can say. He loved giving me and my brother presents at Christmas and Lawd help an old man when the great grand babies came along. He had all his great grand girls before he passed away and he loved for them to sit in his lap and they would let him sing to his heart content. (I still get sad that he never got to see the two boys...he would have been right on over the moon over those two.)

We have that satellite radio up in the truck and I've kept it on the Holiday station since I found it. Now, the kids might be complaining a tad over hearing the same songs over and over, but I love it. When "Rudolph" or "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" or "Frosty" or any of those classics come on...I've found myself getting a tad bit misty. I can hear my Grandaddy singing one of those tunes or whistling one (He was a great whistler!) as he went about his day. I get this little pang that I know means I miss him greatly.....but I also realize that when I hear one of those songs? He's here in spirit with us.

My Daddy loves him some Christmas, too. He has great potential to be grumpy year round (I see those of you who know him nodding your head), but give him December 24th and 25th, and he is the definition of happiness and cheer. Now, Daddy isn't one to go singing like his Dad, but he gets all happy and teases us all about what gifts we might be getting or what Santa might bring. I love seeing my Daddy like this because he just loves the whole entire season. He checks out everything every one gets and has even been known to play with a few toys and know, doing a quality check and all that stuff. Every Christmas Eve before we go crazy opening presents, he does a little speech where he talks about Jesus being born and all that is holy about Christmas. We go around the room and everyone will tell something that they are thankful for from that year or just in general. I admit that I get a little long winded some times and the kids roll their eyes when it's my turn. I always mention my Grandaddy, get choked up, and have to pass my turn on to the next person.

Let's mention my brother, shall we? I love my brother. He can be so stoic and stern acting, but give him Christmas and his eyes light up and he grins constantly because he can't wait for people to open presents from him and his family. He is very kind in that he tries to give my kids stuff that makes noise. Lots of loud noises. When my child opens a gift and it starts screeching, I look at him to see him laughing and giving me a thumbs up. Lord, I do love that brother of mine.

Reading this post, it seems to me that the males in my family have been thoroughly bitten by the Christmas Bug. I love the holiday, too, and gladly tolerate their giddiness and happiness. I realized this week, that it's not just the males who get all out of sorts. I do, too!!! I think the past few years, I've been so focused on making sure gifts are bought and packing up my family to travel six hours one way to really have a chance to get fully immersed in the spirit of the season. I can't believe the stress that has been taken off of me with us deciding to stay in our home this year. I'm not dreading a long drive with over excited children. I'm not dreading sleeping in a bed that is guaranteed to break my back by morning time. I'm not dreading packing ALL the stuff up and bringing it back home, just to have to clean up here.

Don't get me hasn't hit me yet that, for the first time in 39 years, I won't spend those two magical days with my family that I love with all my heart. I hope to stay busy and laughing so I don't get all leaky around the eye area because I miss my Mama and Daddy and brother and sister-in-law and niece and nephew and Grandma and Aunt and all.

I want to fully immerse myself in the magic of the season and the reason for the season. My family best hang on...Mama is on a mission!

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