A Manual, Please

Aren't manuals nifty things? They help you operate new gadgets, figure out how to put furniture together, and what those buttons do on your vehicle dash. I love manuals. Those lovely books keep me sane when my husband decides he can put things together without a consult first. This past weekend, I splurged and got a laptop table. It tilts and everything! It's like the Mac Daddy of television trays! I feel all put together and even more comfortable in my chair as I nose around the Internet.

I love the fact that he put this table together and I hear an "Oh shoot". Apparently, the first line in the manual was "Read manual thoroughly before assembly." Is that right? He, being the man, did not consult and had to take it apart and start over. So goes life with a man, right?

Some times, I wish I had a manual for other things. I am in constant need of direction, help, and advice...and I get right irate if I can't find what I need to help me. Here are some examples of some of the manuals I wish I had:

1. How to Raise a Drama Queen Teenage Girl. (Need I say more? I know what I was like and I see similarities of a sort, but times have changed some and I need to know a better way of raising this girl child of mine so she will embrace life and be a productive citizen in the near future.)

2. How to Reason with an ADHD Kid in the Mornings Who is not Medicated. (This one is important, too. You can't reason with him. I lose my temper because GET DRESSED ALREADY. It's the same fight every.single.morning. I just don't get it and I'm developing high blood pressure from it. Seriously, a nerve pill can only help Mama so much, Son.)

3. How to Cook like My Mama so My Kids Will Say My Cooking is Just As Good. (~sigh~ I know I'll never cook as good as my Mama. I remember telling her as a young child that my Grandma's stew beef was better than hers. I'm sorry, Mama. Just know that your cooking beats mine hands down in your grandchildren's eyes any day of the week.)

4. How to Buy a House That is Perfect for My Family. (Yeah yeah yeah..I know there are thousands of books out there to help the first time home buyer. I don't have time to read thousands of books. I need someone that knows their stuff who will sincerely help me and I won't end up feeling like I've been molested when it's all over. I'm ten kinds of nervous over this and I feel queasy about the paperwork in front of us.)

5. How to Keep Food from Being My Drug of Choice. (Shaddup. I don't need any assvice (advice not asked for) on this. I don't do drugs (ok, I do an allergy pill, purple pill, and nerve pill at night, but they're LEGAL, man) of an illegal nature. I don't drink. Chocolate soothes my savage beast inside but it's killing me weight wise. I just wish I could eat to live instead of live to eat. It's a mental thing and I'll work on it soon. A manual on this would be pretty handy, though. )

6. How to Keep Kids Motivated to Help Around the House. (If I could write this, I'd made trillions! Right now, it's hard to motivate them when I can't find the motivation my own self. I'm mentally tired from single parenting during the week and when you're mentally tired? It's hard to find the physical stamina to get done what needs to be done.)

7. How to a Good Supportive Wife Every Moment of the Day. (My wonderful husband. You might want to pray for him. I do support him and encourage him, but every now and again, I slip up and vent a little too much or take out my frustrations on him. He is a rock and takes my storms without blinking. We are both doing our best right now and I know as hard as it is for me to do this on my own? It's just as hard on him being away from his family. In case you all are wondering...this is kind of a public apology to him *blush*.)

8. How to Accept that Parents do Age and Nothing You Can Do Will Stop It. (I can't stand the thought of my parents aging. Don't they realize they aren't allowed to do this?!? I am just beside myself with worry over my parents and their health, and I just get so anxiety ridden being far away from them when I know they need me.)

As you can see, I need a library full of information goodness. There are rare moments during the day (like now) where I have a second to think. Thinking can be good...or it can bad. I am going to work on making those moments of thinking a good thing. Make my plans of attack on these situations I have going on. Plans are good things, you know.

Right now, I plan on enjoying my moments to myself and maybe find some motivation to get a thing or two done around here. That Man of Mine will be home this evening and I will be able to breathe and find a mental break of sorts. You go on and have a good weekend. Make it count.

Unexpected Blessings

Many people wonder why I haven't been blogging that much. Is nothing happening around The Edge that is blog worthy? Oh, Internets, you have NO idea. It is so busy and crazy, I find that overwhelmed is my name by the end of the day. Shoot, there are days that I wake up and that tidal wave of weariness washes over me before my feet hit the floor.

My husband is working at his new job and I am just so proud of him, I can't hardly stand it. This means that temporarily, we are separated during the week as he has to go three hours away to work this new job. We both decided that we would let him get started working before tackling the job of finding a home in our new town. I also want to let my oldest finish this semester of high school if at all possible. Research shows that the new school district does classes by the year where this school goes by semester. This is all good, but if we let her finish this semester, she can finish four credits to take with her. It's not a sacrifice, but what needs to be done.

This does make it a tad tough all the way around. My son is a fragile being. He adores his Dad and I am told all the time, "That's not how my Dad does it." I am patient and show complete understanding but gently remind him that I am not Dad...I am Mama and this is how I do it. There have been a couple of rough days at school and one day he didn't get his medication. Suffice it to say, he was home with me by noon.

It has bonded me with my girls in that we fell back into the teamwork we had going on when it was just the three of us. They are older and much better at helping and for that, I am so appreciative.

One reason I'm blogging this morning is about taking a breath. We were so rushed this morning. Makenna had to be at school early because she's working with the broadcast club that does the school morning news. She loves being in front of the camera and I want to make sure she's there to do her part. This makes it tough on the little boy who has O.C.D. and has no medication in his system that early. He has to get up a little earlier and it just throws his routine off. It's a crap shoot as to if he will cooperate or not.

I find myself getting all bent out of shape and my voice goes up a few octaves as I try to get his lunch made and us out the door. I am hot and irate and just ready to drop them off and come home for a quiet cup of coffee by the time all is said and done.

This morning as we left, it was still dark. My son was not happy with this because he felt he was going to school at night. I assured him that the sun would be up before his class started in 25 minutes. As I was driving back home from dropping them off, the sun was coming up. We live on the coast so I kind of feel our sunrises are special. The color of the sky was just different, but in a good way. As I drove the five minutes back to my home, I told God how beautiful His work is and how I am blessed to have seen such a beautiful sunrise. My spirits lifted as I had a small quiet talk with my Lord and thanked Him for reminding people just how magnificent He truly is.

I parked my vehicle in front of my home and when I stepped out, I turned and saw something that took my breath away. It was a rainbow. Not just an ordinary rainbow. A vibrant awe-inspiring rainbow. I had to pause a moment just to look and then I snapped together and ran inside to get my camera. I took a picture with my regular camera and one with my cell phone. I won't put the pictures on here because they simply do not do this gift justice.

I could see each band of color separate and precise. From the deep rich violet to the bright red. As I walked back out, I was shocked to see that it was a full complete round left to right rainbow. Even better? It was a double rainbow. Above it in a lighter shade, was another rainbow.

I was so blessed in that moment, I can't even tell you. I was instantly assured that no matter what is going on in my life, He is there. He is still large and in charge and we are all blessed with this gift He has given us called life.

My mother is in the hospital having suffered two mini strokes this week. My husband is away from home during the week and I am running this ship the best I can. We are stressed over buying a home, moving eventually, and how life will be.

I may stress over this stuff tomorrow, but today I choose to embrace the gift God has given me this fine Friday morning. I will thank Him for His blessings that I tend to overlook because all my problems haven't been solved. I will, with joy, accept this unexpected blessing.

The Chief has Retired

This young man joined United States Navy 20 years ago. His grand idea was to serve one term or enlistment and get out and attend college. That was twenty years ago. His incredibly smart brain got him sucked in the nuclear power program and it just took off from there. What an adventure this sailor has had over the span of those twenty years. He got to see the world and prove all those cool commercials you see on television to be true. He started in 1989 weighing not much more than a buck fifty and a head full of dark hair. He has slowed down a little bit since then as the knees have taken a beating working on metal floors in submarines for so long.

I met this sailor in 2001. We were both in our 30's and had some baggage we were toting around with us. Yet, we got past that baggage to discover that we were meant to be together from that moment on. What an adventure I've had in the past eight years. When I met my husband, I was a small town girl content and satisfied to live in that small town forever and ever amen. He showed me our great country by introducing traveling to my life. With him, I flew in an airplane for the first time, went to visit the West, drove across TEXAS (everyone should have to do this at least one time in their lives), and so many other fun things I never even thought about.

Because of this man and his patience and love for life, I found a side of myself that I never knew existed. The side that would leave that small town to see what else was out there. I will never be able to thank him enough.

You and I will never know exactly what he has seen, experienced, and done. He alone will have those memories to visit when he's older and sitting at the end of the day looking over his life. I admit to being somewhat jealous of those memories because I do know they will be amazing.

I am so honored to be a part of this Chief's life. The future is unfolding in front of us and, even though I wasn't there the entire twenty years of his Naval adventure.....I'm right beside him for the next adventure happening now.

Thank you, Chief The Man. Thank you for serving our country for twenty years and for crying when you said good bye. You are the type of person we need defending our freedom for always.