Monday, April 17, 2006

A Message for Paige

Twelve years ago on the 14th, you came into this world screaming. Or that's what I've been told. I was unable to participate in your birth because I had that nasty preeclampsia and got really sick. Rumor has it that I almost died, but I don't believe it because I don't recall any bright lights beckoning me. I just remember waking up in intensive care and your Nana telling me I had a baby girl. I don't recall much else from those two days. A doctor friend stopping by......your grandaddy David.....and a nurse with an angelic voice.

I didn't see you until you were a couple of days old and even then I couldn't make it to the NICU. They had to bring you in that plastic limo to my room. I remember how tiny you were at 3lbs 7 ozs and how this fierce love flowed through my veins. I was only 22 and didn't know a blessed thing. (Hindsight tells me that one!) I do know that I knew what a mother's love was and as I sat by your isolette day in and day out....I saw your prom. I saw your graduation. I saw your wedding. I saw the future.

I would take pain pills and time it to where I could drive that stick shift car of mine to the hospital. Yes, it was a big no no after having had a c-section, but everyone was back to their normal routines. And I had to get to you. Hours and hours I would sit by your side and watch the machines telling your life story. There are blurry faces of nurses that would bring me juice or crackers and fuss at me for not getting proper rest.

You came home at 4lbs even. A 2 liter pepsi bottle was bigger than you. My only thought was to make you thrive and flourish and let you know what love was.

I think you were born fighting and you haven't stopped yet. I wish sometimes you wouldn't struggle so hard to get ahead. It will all happen in good time. I understand your frustrations for the most part and hurt when I don't.

You are a beautiful and intelligent lady. You know how to match your clothes and iron them. You're learning the art of being a woman. I can't believe this teeny tiny baby has become the lady you are today. It just happened so fast.

BUT...and there's always a but. I am your mother. Not your friend. I will listen and be there for you, but I'm not your pal. It's my duty and honor to prepare you for what life has in store and I would be doing you an injustice if I didn't teach you right from wrong and how to handle situations that come along. The lessons aren't easy, but you won't fail. Maybe the day will come that we can be friends of a sort, but until then....I'm the boss. If I need to, I'll have it put on a shirt.

Growing up isn't easy. You're making sure of that. But I'm your mama and I will be behind you every step of the way to lift you up and help you. Even if you don't know it.

And, yes, you can be a lawyer and a doctor. Just PLEASE keep your grades up because we just can't afford that tuition!!

2 comments:

Pro-Divorce said...

Nice post. Tell Paige she has a very special birthdate.

Crazy Me said...

Smaller than a Pepsi bottle? I can't even imagine!

Miss Hope, I must say, the way you talk about your children and your views on raising them is tops in my book. I don't know you but you seriously impress me as a mom!