Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Routine

Life is about routines. The older we get, the more we tend to settle into comfortable routines that help us get through each day. This isn't a bad thing. No, not at all. It's almost...soothing, for lack of a better term. I think routines mostly happen when we have children. Children need routines to function. Structure is the key to keeping a kid on the smooth side. If a kid is smooth? Our lives are much easier.

That was the most terrifying part of moving to a new place for me. Disrupting The Boy's routine just isn't the best idea anyone has ever had. I haven't talked about his ADHD lately, but it's still there. Trust me. It's there. I look at him now and remember him in October of 2008 and the difference will make you speechless. That sweet baby of mine craves a routine like an addict craves their drug of choice. From the moment he wakes up to the moment he lays his head down at night, routine and structure are the key for his survival (and sometimes ours!)

I'm not saying we don't ever do spontaneous things because we do. We also have to realize that there may be a price to pay for spontaneity. We all know for a fact that under no circumstances is he allowed in a place like Super W*lm*rt in the evenings. There is an abundance of fluorescent lights and if you didn't know already, fluorescent lights are the WRONG thing to expose an ADD or ADHD kid to unless heavily medicated. Fluorescent lights flicker constantly. People normally don't notice it but a certain part of the ADD and ADHD brain will see those flickers and it will drive that person crazy. And they won't know why. It will inspire meltdowns and behaviour problems of high magnitude. It is a given that after 4-5 p.m., someone will sit outside in the vehicle with The Boy to keep him from going in a place such as this. How about pay attention the next time you are in a store like this. I'm willing to bet that the more towards evening you get, the more kiddie meltdowns you will see because they are tired and can't understand what the flip is causing them to act on the crazy side.

Thanksgiving to Christmas saw such a roller coaster for my baby. He knew he was getting a new house and a new school. He had to say good bye to his teacher and friends. I don't think he really grasped it because a big vacation happened right after that with a visit from Santa thrown in for good measure. We had days with meltdowns. We had perfect days where we marveled at how well he was doing.

When I went to register him for his new school, I was all excited and chatty about how great this place was and how many friends he was going to make. (I make myself sick now just thinking about how "happy" I was.) Inside? I was a nervous wreck and almost about to throw up over being so anxious about how he was going to deal with yet another new loop in his life. He sat in the office while I filled out paperwork and watched the people walking by outside. Next thing I know? He's getting all rowdy and jumping and hitting his sister. Seriously, he was just being a flat out froot loop.

The lady who would take kids to meet their new teacher asked him if he was ready to meet his new teacher. Immediately, he was still and solemnly shook his head no. Nope, not interested. Again, I turned into Muffy Cheerleader, injecting enthusiasm into my voice over how wonderful this all was! (ugh) I went with him to meet his new class and teacher in the cafeteria.

This was so hard. So very hard. He did end up going somewhat willingly with his new class...with one last wave over his shoulder. It took all I had not to bawl right there in the hallway watching him walk away holding his coat in his arms. It reminded me of when I had to drop Makenna off for her first day of 2nd grade in a new school and drive away. She told me her knees were shaking she was so nervous. Yet, she got out of that van and walked right in. I cried the whole way home that day.

Not surprisingly, The Boy didn't have good behaviour at first. I cringed when I opened his folder to see where he hit AT a person that day, which is a no-no. ~sigh~ It makes me want to rush to his teacher and talk in very fast sentences about how special and wonderful he is...he just has a few issues. I will refrain right now. He has to find his way in this wonderful world of Kindergarten. He has to establish his relationship with his teacher and understand her classroom rules. He has to develop social skills with his peers. Yes, he does have issues. Yes, he has to fight that monster in his head on a minute by minute basis. Life is full of issues, though. If it's not ADHD a person is fighting? I'm pretty positive there's going to some other kind of issue in their lives. It's like asthma or diabetes. You learn to live with it and you learn how to deal with it.

It's just so hard when it's your baby.

Have I mentioned the Alpha Male deal we got going on? Oh, yeah. The Man being gone during the week left The Boy as the man of the house. Now, Dad is around on a full-time basis and there is, what I call the "Alpha Male Pissing Contest" going on. I know that's not a pretty term, but it is what it is. They've gone head to head more times than I care to count. I don't interfere either. I let the two of them have it out. I'm just the Mama. I'm the soft one that is still allowed to kiss a certain five year old and say, "That's my baby!" I will tell you this...that kid got a dose of stubborn from me AND his Dad. You tell me how you think things go down when they start barking at each other?

I also had a revelation of sorts last night. I'm kind of glad I don't have any friends here yet...or people I do things with. I have got to get this house straight before I go doing that kind of stuff. Back in Saint Marys (which is where we lived before...I can say it out loud now because we no longer live there), I was one busy butt gal. There was always something to do, lunches to go to, appointments all the time. It's kind of nice to be able to take it easy and not have to run somewhere every single day. I'm not saying it won't eventually happen, but I'm enjoying the break while it lasts. I didn't realize just how much I stayed busy until just a couple of days ago. I miss lunches with my friends and spur of the moment shopping, but it'll happen again.

Now I'm off to unpack yet another few boxes. Lu is coming to visit this weekend with her girls and I'm so excited. She'll be our first overnight visitor and I'm excited to share my new town with her. It's also a bonus that instead of five hours away...we're only three hours apart. I can live with that MUCH better. Makes me feel like I'm almost home.

I apologize for the cold weather that is happening. Me blogging twice in one week might have something to do with that. Stay warm!

2 comments:

Krys72599 said...

Oh, we're SO sending warm and fuzzy thoughtwaves and virtual hugs your way and the way of The Boy! A new town, a new school? That's hard for an adult, let alone a kindergartener with "a few issues," to use your terminology!
That said, though, I KNOW, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that he'll BE.JUST.FINE.
How can he not be, with a mama and papa like he has, and those great sisters, too!
We're thinking of you all!

The family said...

HOPPPEEE I miss you. I am eekingmy way back into bloglife though. Even started a new blog. You should be so proud of me - LOL. I really think things are settling down - we need to get together for a chat!

oh oh - my new blog
2713mornings.blogspot.com