Saturday, July 23, 2005

In Case I have O-ffended Anyone.

I realized I might have offended some people with my last post. If I didn't, disregard this, please.

About Rednecks. Some people are offended when called this particular term. Some embrace it and even wear the tshirt to prove it. My Life Friend ( I call her this because we have been friends since we were 7 years old. She no longer qualifies for title Best Friend because we have so much history ..good and bad...between us, that we know that we can count on each other no matter what and we will always have each other's back) and I were talking the other day and she told me about her weekend. She went to this little honkey-tonk bar last weekend and proceeded to get in a fight while there. Tsk tsk. I asked her if it felt good to go "redneck". Another friend was present and seemed puzzled. I proceeded to tell her my redneck theory. You see, we all have redneck in us. Every single person born on this planet. Some of us may be able to suppress it and never let it surface. Others let it surface one time and like it so good...they never put it back inside. There are different things that can set the redneck out in a person. It could have been when that chick was talking to your boyfriend back in high school and you KNOW you wanted to kick her butt. You might have given in to the might not have. It could be that turkey driving in front of you that cut you off and you thought some not so nice thoughts about. It could be something as simple as a telemarketer that calls at a very inopportune (man, I hope that's spelled right) time. Have I ever gone redneck?? But, of course. I can give you one example that comes to mind right away.

Back in my youth....I'd say around age 19.....we (we-being a big group of people that all hung around together) used to sneak off to this little hole in the wall bar. Notice a trend here? Bars'll do it everytime. My best friend at the time was dating this guy. Me? I just went to party, friends. So there we were, having a high ol' time. Some lite-brite (notice- this is sarcasm at its highest) decided to bring some friends from college...fresh meat. Now, I attended this college (which is now a University) and knew these people. I just didn't think it was the brightest idea to bring new girls into the mix. So, this gal decides that my friend's man looks mighty tasty. She flirts. And flirts. We are slightly tolerant because we've had a few and he appeared to be ignoring her for the most part. Fast forward to the dance floor and dance classic "You Dropped the Bomb on Me" as loud as it can be. Said New Girl decides to ask Best Friend's man to dance. Remember Dirty Dancing? Yeah, it wasn't good, folks. Best Friend is over to the side and as I stand and watch (realize I had no forewarning of this....), Best Friend biddy-bops on over to New Girl and taps her on the shoulder. She grins and motions for New Girl to follow her to the edge of the dance floor. New Girl complies. By the time they reach the edge of the dance floor.....Best Friend turns around and SOCKS New Girl with a left hook. I start going towards them. New Girl (who really shocked us with this because she appeared so 'high society') breaks beer bottle on edge of table and starts for Best Friend. I manage to grab New Girls long beautiful locks of hair and wrap it around my hand. Next thing I know, 3 guys are pulling me away and Best Friend and New Girl are going at it. Now that wasn't fair, was it? Fast Forward again 30 minutes and we're outside. Totally mad...ok pissed. Drinking again. New Girl is in bathroom being petted. Boyfriend is staying out of it. All the girls are outside that matter. I could name names now but we're all contributing members of society now and it wouldn't look good if anyone got a hold of this. Call me if you really want to know who this was. heh heh. One Nameless Friend comes up with a brilliant idea. Since New Girl is not welcome and Boyfriend didn't act as he seemed reasonable that they both pay. So we let all the air out of their tires. Yep all of them. Do you know how loud that is??????? We all go home shortly thereafter. Boyfriend rides with Best Friend. We care not where New Girl is. We find out the next day that Boyfriend's buddy and New Girl both drove their cars. A good distance. They were too buzzed to realize they had flat tires. All 8 had to be replaced. They were cut beyond repair. Oops. We are all hanging out again the next night and Boyfriend and Co. are completely over the edge angry. They insist on knowing who did such a foul thing. We still carry the secret to this day. We went redneck, folks.

So redneck is not a derogatory term. No, not at all. We all have moments in our lives. Why, when I have to deal with my ex-husband....I see red on a regular basis. He makes me want whup on his butt bigtime. I'm sure there are those of you who can understand.

So if I offended anyone, I apologize. But, now you know it was said in love and respect. I love a redneck better than the next person. I tell you what....they're the best thing to have in your back pocket in a crisis.

Just so you know. I don't do that stuff anymore. I don't drink. I don't visit bars....

I just think really bad thoughts I repent for later.


Jacinda said...

You are a funny girl, Hope! Living in South Carolina we sure do see our share of "red" don't we?!?! lol

Crazy Me said...

That is funny! As a person with a twisted sense of humor, I really enjoyed that story. Does that make me a bad person?!

BTW ... I posted on my blog in response to Harry but just in case it's hard to find, here's what I think...

I don't think what appears to be evil was. Don't like that man but I still think there's something in the works here.

And, I don't think what "appeared" to happen really happened.

Your thoughts?