Monday, October 08, 2007

The Edge: South Carolina Edition

We headed home for a visit this past weekend. As always, it was too short. After sleeping a couple of nights on a pull out couch, it sometimes feels like too long, if you know what I mean.

Friday morning found me sitting on my parent's front porch shelling beans. I sat with my Mama and chatted about everything and nothing while the kids played all around the Plantation (that's what we call our piece of Southern property). This was actually a treat for me. I haven't shelled beans since I was a teen. We used to sit at my grandma's house and watch the traffic go by while going through bushels. I remember my Mama and Grandma's hands moving like lightening....shelling peas and beans so fast you could never keep up. I never got to that speed, but did my bowl or two. To me, it was like tasting a memory of something long ago that you didn't even realize you missed.

My husband was educated on picking off peanuts. My uncle brought a trailer full of peanuts still on the bushes. Let the record show that I hate picking off peanuts. I despise picking off peanuts. I remember being woke up early on Saturday mornings to go to a dew damp garden to pull up rows of bushes with peanuts dangling on the end. Nasty work. I would complain so much that finally my Dad would just bring them back and wake me up to help pick them off. Then the complaining would start again. I'm Miss Nice Nasty. I have never liked getting my hands dirty and peanut picking is dirty work. Once I got married and a home of my own, I informed them I would no longer pick off peanuts. Now, I've always been more than happy to eat them once they were all clean and boiled. I have stuck by this to this very day and have all intentions of continuing to until I die. My husband has never had the pleasure of picking off the peanuts, but he persevered because he has developed a fond taste for them. God Bless him because we brought home a small bucket for me to cook for our eating pleasure.

But, really and truly, all the excitement happened just as we were leaving to come back home to Jawja. We had everything packed up and was getting ready to load up the van when Fred decided to head to the back of the house to see if all was well before shutting up the place. I heard him say, "WHOA!" and come back into the living room.

I asked him what was wrong?

He replied, "There is a snake in our house."

Me: "Huh?"

Fred: "There is a snake in our HOUSE!!!"

Me: "Where?"

Fred: pointing down hallway "THERE! COME LOOK! HE'S RIGHT THERE!"

I walked over to where he was standing and sure enough there was a thin snake around three feet long at the end of the hallway. I immediately told my niece who was sitting on the couch with Mak to run get her Dad to help us with this problem.

Why did I do that?

In my momentary panic, I forgot that my brother is deathly afraid of snakes. Not too long ago, there was small snake that found it's way into his home. It peeked at my sister in law out of the hall closet when she opened it. She called my brother who then proceeded to get his pistol. Yes, his pistol. Real gun. Real bullets. He then shot at the snake. In his home. Missed the snake but hit a water pipe since hall closet was beside bathroom. Made quite a mess. They finally got the snake. It decided to come out of a drawer in the bathroom where Des was going to reach in for a comb or brush. Needless to say, every single hole was plugged in their home after that and they've had no more problems.

My brother comes into my home with a shovel and a pvc pipe. I'm still not clear on why he brought the pipe in. In the meantime, my husband had chased this creature into the bedroom behind a headboard. My brother was all for killing it right there. Bash it to death and all that rot. My husband said, "No! Not in the house! Give me one of those clothing containers out of the other bedroom." In the meantime, you've got three kids ages 8, 7, and 5 hanging out in the hallway wanting a piece of the action. The menfolk decided they did not need their supervision and sent them outside. Finally, the snake was caught in the container. My father met them outside and deemed it non poisonous and a common corn snake. They had recently cut a field near our home and the poor creature was evicted and was looking for his winter condo home. The Edge: South Carolina Edition was not to be his for the taking.

I gotta admit, I was ready to go then. Something about a snake in your home is enough to make you want to move or leave or fumigate or something! Our next mission when we can find an extra day is to go through and make sure we also plug up all the holes we can find. I can't say I'm looking forward to it. It'll probably take me a year or two not to jump at every shadow when I walk in my home there. And I'm old now. I don't need to be doing no unnecessary jumping.

That was our weekend. Exciting, huh?

Oh, and no offense to anyone, but coming home on the interstate? Makes me wonder how some people were able to get a driver's license. And just because you own a Mercedes or BMW does not entitle you to own the road and disregard all speeding laws. It only means you have no better way to spend your money and you have a high insurance payment. Personally? I'd rather own my pitiful mini-van, have decently priced insurance and spend my money elsewhere. But, that's just me.


Domestic Diva said...

Well, woo wee! A time was had by y'all! I'm so thankful the snake was not a dangerous one and no one was harmed - although I'm sure the scare alone was quite enough.

As for the drivers, girl, you know my feelings on the people around these parts!

Anonymous said...

I'm rather surprised you weren't in there with your rake handle! Ha!! Just joking--I know it's an awful feeling. MIL

Miss Hope said...

Dear Anon..who is also my favorite mother in law,

I figured since I had to kill the last one and get a case of the bad nerves, your son could take this shift. It was quite a treat to hear two grown men trying to get that snake into the container.

House of Hayes said...

Dearest Miss Hope...
heehee Just thought I would add that in there :P

I am sitting here with chill bumps thinking about that snake.He was just wanting some boiled peanuts.Speaking of ... did you bring some back with you ?? :)

I don't like drivers period...Well except you because you move out of the way when you see me coming through :)

HUGS .... and I'll see ya SOON!!

Krys72599 said...

It's taken me 6 years to stop calling my husband at the sight of a spider in the lake house - we get spiders, not ants or bees or mosquitos - although I will admit that when they're big ones, first I jump 4 feet into the air, then I just stand and shiver for a few seconds, and then I kill them. But I do have my limits - some of the really big ones, the ones that leave a huge splat on the floor or wall - they need to be annihilated by hubby.
A snake? I'd have been 1/2-way back to Jawja before you could scream, "SNAKE!"

Crazy Me said...

I would have been completely freaked out. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww

Coty said...

How funny....I just found a snake at my front door today! Must be all this rain bringin' 'em out.

Tracey said...

My husband is a snake lover. He would have not only caught it with his hands, he would have involved the kids, had them holding it, talking about its properties and why it's such a wonderful creature... And then they'd have been begging me to keep it for a pet. Although, a corn snake? I might consider... The 8 foot Burmese python we found a new home for last year? Yeah... buh bye.

Melanie said...

one summer I stayed in Sumter with family and my job was to pull peanuts - I've only found ONE job I despise more and that had to do with tobacco farms. I love me some boiled peanuts though, so I'd immerse myself in peanuts and dirt for that end result. I just can't believe you'd tease so much without sending some to me wasting away from the lack of southern goodness. I didn't even laugh at the snake attack, which I'm sure was quite the sight!

Get Off My Lawn! said...

Poisonous snakes? No sir, I would love to see the south but give me wolves and grizzlies any day.

Starbldr said...

Don't ever trust any creature that doesn't have shoulders.