Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thoughts....

Quite a few thoughts rolling around in Miss Hope's head today. How about I do a normal thing for me and be random about it?

Yeah...about that. Didn't get to finish my post and decided to go ahead and share anyways. The red writing is updated comments and add-ons by me.



1. The new Commander at the Chapel cut my funding for Crafts and Conversations. He called me yesterday to tell me. I had to cancel today's class at the last minute while I was reeling in shock. I had to send out my weekly email newsletter to these ladies that I adore and inform them. Oh, the emails I have received in return stating their dismay and how upset they are. Neighbor Debbie and I are on a mission to find some funding so we can keep this much needed program afloat. The Commander wasn't being malicious or anything. Far from it. The Navy has certain rules and guidelines they have to follow. Even though the program is amazing? There's no "slot" for the funding for it to fit in. Ergo....no more funding. I don't want to say we have to go begging for money...but we gotta go begging for money. Give me a ratty coat and tin cup. I'm ready to fight. (We have since discovered through the course of the day that LOTS of funding has been cut throughout the military. I really and truly thought funding wouldn't get cut so much until...oh....starting around February of next year. Obviously, I was wrong. Now we're wondering if it is even worth fighting for. I'll let you know.)



2. The Boy is on a new medication. ~sigh~ The old one was working a few hours before his metabolism burned it up, but he was crashing too hard coming off of it. Oh, the mood swings and meltdowns we were experiencing. I know it couldn't have been a good feeling for him and we certainly weren't enjoying it. My research shows it should take 3 days for this new medication to work properly. We're on day 3. I need results. (Okay....we had day 3. He had a stellar day at school. He got stickers in ALL 12 activities. Get this...he was SO good, he got FOUR GOLD STARS in a few of the activities. I wouldn't say the medication lasted a full 12 hours....but it wasn't bad. I'm so hoping this might be the one. Say a prayer, would you?)



3. We're not going home for Thanksgiving. I am 37 years old. I've NEVER spent Thanksgiving away from my family. Months ago when we decided we couldn't go, I was fine with it. Totally fine. Almost nonchalant even. In the past week I've been so emotional that I'm just about distraught. How childish of me, huh? Not going home, I think, is the straw that broke the camel's back. I have become an emotional basket case at times ...when I'm not busy....which is not too often. But, often enough for me. I can handle being hundreds of miles away pretty much all the time. Holidays have the power to cut me off at my knees. When I least expect it. (Still emotional. Still wanting to go home. Accepting that I won't. But not liking it.)



4. The Man and I will be starting counseling of our own the first of December. What for, might you ask? We are working in conjunction with Miss Rose, The Boy's therapist. As I explained to my Mama....this is a hard situation. Our son has been diagnosed with something he may have to deal with his entire life. Some people outgrow it (which I highly doubt-I think they learn how to deal) and are okay. What about the formative years? When little brains are developing and learning at the speed of light? I have become so focused on that sweet precious boy of mine that my amazing girls are suffering because of it. Do I love them less? Absolutely not!!! I want to be the best parent I possibly can. We Mama's and Daddy's aren't born knowing how to parent. We learn from example (our own parents) and mostly by trial and error. I can't afford error here. I want to be the best possible Mama I can be for these three precious gifts. If that means I go to therapy/counseling in order to better learn how? Then so be it. The Man feels the same way and God knows I love him for it.



5. I've overbooked myself. Not on purpose, but it happened. Too much to do and not enough time to do it. I had to back away today while I grieve and miss my Thursday morning class. I'm getting house stuff done. I'm regrouping and trying to figure out how I can save this program. I'm looking forward to seeing Makenna do a choir concert tonight. Pretty much the 1,000 thoughts deal where you think and think and think and not too much gets accomplished.



6. Neighbor Debbie is insistent that I learn some new skills. I admit to being a willing pupil. I am no longer afraid of the sewing machine...as long as you keep it simple. Because I adore my Internets, I am taking pictures and documenting what we're doing. I just can't share it yet because some of it is going to be Christmas presents. I'm right tickled over the progress of this project and look forward to feedback.



There you have it. A few of my random thoughts flitting around.

Okay. So my wonderful laptop got all wonky acting earlier today when I was typing this. I'm inclined to believe I got the black screen of death or something like that. I know it took me a solid two hours just to get spider solitaire back. By that time, I had things to do and get ready for. I've got some cute pictures from Makenna's choir concert tonight I can't wait to share with you!

9 comments:

AndreaLeigh said...

Budget cuts are effecting us all! The governor has cut over $400 million from SC's budget and $21.5 million of that is from the Department of Disabilities and Special Needs. My clients are loosing their funding and I might just loose my job.

Start looking into grants. I've got some grant writing experience and would help you if you found something that would apply. Look at Target, Walmart, Staples, etc. for their local grant programs. Also the United Way funds community programs if you can prove how it benefits the community.

Good luck.

The Man on the Edge said...

A little comment about the boy's new medication. He was actually so good, that the teacher said that he was the example of how to do things most of the day. I know we are going to have some bad days, but, to hear that he was actually setting a good example for most of the day just did my heart good. Also, at least while I was there, it appeared that he was pretty good during the concert. Not perfect, but not too bad. So, all of you who read this, continue to say prayers for us.

The family said...

Ms Hope -
I do SOOO adore you. This post made me just want to show up on your door ( with a turkey of course) on Thanksgiving day. Care if I come? We need an entire afternoon to talk.

Get Off My Lawn! said...

The full impact of this economic thing hasn't crushed us in Canada... yet. But everyone up here watches American news (I wonder how many Americans pay attention to Canadian news) so everyone is tightening their belts anyway. Evrything that needs to hapen will happen. I look forward to the pics of your craft.

Sam, Missy and Alex said...

Hope, when I read many months ago about what you do with the military wives my heart just fluttered. I love that you make time out of your extremely busy life to be with them and take their mind off theirs!

Helping other moms and wives is a task I take very serious as a wife and mother. I know that we can get bogged down and swept away in the rush of life.

I am so sorry that your programs funding will be cut this coming year. I full and whole heartedly believe in what you do for these women. I will gladly send a check (it will be a Clemson check, sorry, lol) to put in the hat, tell me when and where and you got it! I also pass the hat on for others to donate!!!

I am so happy for the Boys day at school-whoo-hoo! I am continuing to pray for you and yours on this journey. I hope you guys get some comfort and answers soon!

As far as coming home, come to Clemson, wear your sun glasses so that the colors don't make you sick and invite the SC family down, that way all you guys can meet in the middle! I'll just make extra !!! :}

I do wish you a happy and safe thanksgiving where ever you do spend it!

Krys72599 said...

Count me in on donations to the cause, too, Miss Hope! And since it's craft-oriented, maybe I could collect some overstock crafty stuff from my scrapbooking group and donate that to your group, too! I don't know what kind of crafts you do, but if we can help, let me know!
And with respect to that beautiful boy of yours - how wonderful to hear that he was "a good example" to the rest of his class today! That's a HUGE step in the right direction! Although we all know you've got a way to go, YAY!!!
And I know your girls are going to be just fine - but kudos to you and to Fred for stepping up to the plate to learn how to do the best you can do!!! More parents should be like the two of you!!!

Monogram Queen said...

I am so sorry you can't go home... I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving despite that. I"m sure you will with your wonderful family.

Saying a huge prayer that this is the help the boy needs!

Y'all are wonderful wonderful parents!

OneHungMan said...

Sounds like you got yourself a full plate.

Lishak said...

Wow it sounds like your life is extremely full these days!
I wish you much success with the therapy.
Holidays away from family have the potential to be fun. My immediate family spent last Christmas together by ourselves. It was a memorable holiday! Take a deep breath and have fun. :)
I'll miss class, but it might be a sign that there are other areas to focus on at the moment for you. I'm praying for the situation.
:)