There are a few things I've learned about being married and being in a marriage over the years. I have to admit, some lessons were hard and others not so much. Keep in mind, these are my own personal revelations and don't have to be yours.
MYTH #1:
Don't go to bed mad/angry/upset.
Miss Hope's Lesson:
Really? Why not? If I go to bed mad/angry/upset, that is giving my temper a chance to cool down before I say something I can't take back. The Man and I always end up talking it through after the cool down period and pretty much end up apologizing and expressing our separate viewpoints better to the other. Do we always end up agreeing? Heck no. We just come to a compromise or agree to disagree. I have an awful short term explosive temper. I will run off at the mouth for a few minutes, then I'm fine. I get past stuff pretty fast. Cooling down is a good thing for me.
MYTH #2:
Sleep separately until the anger is gone. Couches are optional or guest bedrooms.
Miss Hope's Lesson:
I think not. My bed is awesome. I have 1200 thread count sheets, memory foam, and an electric blanket. You're crazy if I'm going to go sleep somewhere else. I told my husband at the beginning of our marriage that I would never chase him out of his bed. That's his side and I have my side. We can coexist to sleep and not say a word. And we have done this successfully. Don't let anyone chase you out of your bed. Especially if you have an awesome bed.
MYTH #3:
Money is the cause of many marriages failing. (Okay, this may be true in many situations.)
Miss Hope's Lesson:
You're going to disagree about money. It will make you crazy when there's not enough or you don't know exactly how you want to budget to make it work the best. Guess what? You have what you have. Work with it. The Man and I make priority lists all the time. We have to go back and re-do the list because something comes along you weren't expecting. That's life. You're not always going to get what you want or do what you want to do. Work with it. Work with what you have. Forget about what you don't. Pay your tithes (we're pretty big on this), take care of your family, and pay your bills.
MYTH #4:
High end appliances are worth it.
Miss Hope's Lesson:
They are. We just had to replace our washer and dryer (unexpected and a cause to revamp our priority list). I did the shopping around online because we agreed that I would pick out what I use the most. I found what I wanted but those bad boys were the top of the line. I would get giddy over those machines and what I knew they were capable of doing for my clothes and to make my life easier. We went to the store and saw them in person. I fell deeper in love. We decided to get those particular machines and you know the guilt set in and I immediately started talking myself out of those luxurious pieces of machinery. The Man stood firm in that it was an investment that I would utilize to the fullest. I finally gave in. Let me tell you, high end appliances are worth it if you can swing it. The Priority List hates me, but my clothes love me. Oh, and really try to let your husband learn how to use those machines. I'm very protective of my BMW washer and dryer. The Boy can operate them as he and I do the laundry (yes, my son does better than his sisters when it comes to cleaning clothes). I was gone one day running errands and told my son to wash a load. When I called home, my husband informed me HE put the load in the washer. Mild panic set in until he told me The Boy showed him what to do. Whew.
MYTH #5:
Children come first and foremost.
Miss Hope's Lesson:
Children are important. My three are my heartbeat and I can't imagine a life without them. Children are going to grow up and hopefully leave one day. The spouse won't. Keep your spouse in your eyesight. That means treat them well. Flirt with them. Flirt in front of the children (clean flirting, people). Show them a strong united front and that you love each other and respect each other. How you and your spouse act is what your children will look for one day. I want my girls to find a good strong man who has a good work ethic and will treat them with love, kindness, and respect. I want my son to find a good strong woman who will hug him, and treat him with love, kindness, and respect.
The Man and I may not always agree on discipline, but we don't demean, belittle, or overstep their authority when one is correcting a child. One of us has corrected a child and later the other will, in private, talk about how maybe that wasn't the right way. Date nights are important. So very important. The Man and I have a date night once a week. We go out with friends for supper and some socializing. It helps us reconnect as a couple so we're not one of those couples you see in a restaurant after the kids are grown just sitting there with nothing to say. We talk about so many different subjects. We turn the radio up when going out to eat and sing and car dance together. Have fun with your children. Have fun as a family. Don't forget to have fun with your spouse.
MYTH #6:
Tolerate your in-laws.
Miss Hope's Lessons:
Do your best to love your in-laws. This is your husband's first family. This is your children's family. This is your family. I'm very very blessed in that I truly love my in-laws. You don't always have to agree with their views. Guess what? They don't have to agree with yours either. Call your mother in law on occasion. Keep her up on what's going on with her son. Over the years, I've called my mother in law and complained about her son. Yes! I went there! Best part? She is so sympathetic because she lives with his father....who acts the same way or does the same things. Yes! Someone who gets it! Your spouse is the best and worse of two individuals...just like your own kids. Seek out the best and know that comes from two people who are your MOTHER and FATHER in law. I'm so sorry for those of you who can't get along with your in-laws. It's a sad situation (I've been there) and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
MYTH #7
No need to use manners after you say "I do."
Miss Hope's Lesson:
Bull. There's even more need to use manners. I am not of the generation that my mother come from where you wait hand and foot on your husband. Growing up, I would just get so mad over how my mother would wait on my father. Fix his plate, fix his drink, fetch this, and fetch that. Boy, have I eaten some humble pie in the past couple years. Since my mother has developed health problems, my Daddy has waited on her hand and foot. He has become the most amazing caregiver and I see the love he has for my mother.This has proven to me that what I saw growing up wasn't servitude. It was my mother's way of showing love for my father as he is doing now for her. I fix my husband's plate most of the time. I'm fixing the kid's and I just keep going. I don't mind. I want to do things for my husband. He fixes me coffee when I ask him to in the evenings. We serve each other and every single time, we say "Thank you." or "I appreciate that." Use simple sweet manners. I promise it will be a good example for your children and your spouse will feel appreciated.
MYTH #8:
One person must always be in control of the t.v. remote.
Miss Hope's Lesson:
Well that's a big fat false. My husband loves sports. With a complete passion. He has given up watching many games because Miss Hope hates football with an all burning passion. I can tolerate some baseball and adore the Olympics. My husband loves him some NASCAR. Bless him. On race day, he has the remote for sure. I don't watch the races as they bore me to tears. I love ghost shows. He tolerates the ghost shows and I tolerate the races. There are many we like in common and if there's a really good game going on? I understand him watching it on the laptop with headphones over one ear, while watching updates on said game on his phone, and watching a show with me. All at the same time. Share the remote. Watch family shows with your kids. Our children do not have televisions in their bedrooms. We feel that spending time together watching television is more important than them all going separate ways after supper. That's our personal belief. One gaming system located in the living room keeps play time on that bad boy to a decent level.
Marriage isn't always easy. But, it's so worth it. I like my husband. He is my friend. My very best goodest friend. I trust him with my life, my children, my heart, and my washing machine and dryer. I look so forward to growing old with this man.
Showing posts with label Hope and Fred. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hope and Fred. Show all posts
Friday, March 22, 2013
Friday, September 21, 2007
Another Year Has Passed
Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. Four complete years. My, how time flies.
It wasn't spectacular and filled with flowers and romance because..well, that's not how I am. That, and the fact that my husband was gone all night Wednesday night due to work. It was a fun part of work, but it meant no sleep for him. I did wake up around 3 a.m. to send him a text message, to which he replied promptly.
At 6:45 a.m. he came home to the chaos that is our home in the mornings before school. We drank a cup of coffee and talked a little about his long night. He was kind enough in his sleepy state to volunteer to take the boy to school.
We decided to go to the Khaki Ball this weekend. This is a Navy related event that happens once a year (around our anniversary). You get to dress up and enjoy pomp and circumstance of a sort. You also get to see a bunch of people get toasty. If you're smart? You take your camera. Pictures come in handy later. Trust me.
Because of this event, I deemed it necessary to get a pedicure and manicure. I have to blame Lu about that as she gave me this for a birthday present back in May and started a new love and appreciation for such a luxury. I got dressed, and left my husband to sleep his night off. Carla went with me because she's that kind of friend. She'd never let me go alone to get the foot and hand goodness without sharing in the joy.
Beauty takes time, Internets. I discovered that the Man would have to go get The Boy so I could finish up. He obliged because he's that kind of guy. I think he might have gotten a little ticked at me because I called him at least three times to make sure he was awake and lucid enough to understand he needed to go. He didn't answer by the third call.
Our base was conducting a security drill of sorts yesterday. I don't know the particulars about it, except it makes it a pain in the butt to get on and off base. God help you if your vehicle is chosen for random inspection. I picked up the kids (Mak and the neighbors kids) from school and sat in line to get back to our home. Word of advice? If you are in the military...don't tint the windows of your vehicle. That just makes a gung-ho security guard all suspicious about you and your life and you are more than likely gonna get your vehicle inspected. Tough if you're running late for an appointment.
We were going to have to pick Paige up from school, so I decided we would all go together in case the base got all crazy and locked every gate for a while. As we were waiting outside the school for her, Fred and I were chatting some. I made the comment that four years ago, I would have never thought I would be sitting in front of a school in Georgia four years later. Fred laughed and said the thought was WAY outrageous. (paraphrasing there) But, in Georgia we are. Together. As a family should be.
Fred informed me that he had high aspirations for our anniversary. Flowers. A nice supper out for the both of us. I told him that I knew he was officially an old man and being up all night was hard on him now.:) I enjoyed my pedicure and manicure with Carla and the Chinese buffet hit the spot where we ate for supper.
I am so glad I still like my husband. Love him? Absolutely. With all my heart. I must...I moved 300 miles away from my family to be with him. I just can't believe that we've been together for six years total and I like him as a person. I didn't have that at all with my first husband and this is a novelty that I hope never goes away. (At this point, I'm sure that's not going to happen.) I talk with other women...some who have been married a short time and others who've been married for many years. Too many of them say they aren't "friends" with their husbands. I find that sad. If you can't have fun hanging out with the person who shares your life and your bed.....then what's the point? Just my thoughts and observations on the subject.
Oh, and please don't be fooled by the title of our party tomorrow night. Khaki Ball? A Ball? Cinderella, I am not. No glass slippers to be found on my feet (although they DO look amazing at the moment)(my feet, that is) I'm not clear on why the Navy insists on calling such things "Balls". I guess they get their kicks where they can. Last I heard, though, beer can be served anywhere.
Today I'm off to find the perfect black shoes to match my outfit. These tootsies of mine should be showcased. That, and the fact that I already had an outfit, so I NEED to buy something new. It's only fair, you understand.
Have a wonderfully Edgy weekend, Internets!
It wasn't spectacular and filled with flowers and romance because..well, that's not how I am. That, and the fact that my husband was gone all night Wednesday night due to work. It was a fun part of work, but it meant no sleep for him. I did wake up around 3 a.m. to send him a text message, to which he replied promptly.
At 6:45 a.m. he came home to the chaos that is our home in the mornings before school. We drank a cup of coffee and talked a little about his long night. He was kind enough in his sleepy state to volunteer to take the boy to school.
We decided to go to the Khaki Ball this weekend. This is a Navy related event that happens once a year (around our anniversary). You get to dress up and enjoy pomp and circumstance of a sort. You also get to see a bunch of people get toasty. If you're smart? You take your camera. Pictures come in handy later. Trust me.
Because of this event, I deemed it necessary to get a pedicure and manicure. I have to blame Lu about that as she gave me this for a birthday present back in May and started a new love and appreciation for such a luxury. I got dressed, and left my husband to sleep his night off. Carla went with me because she's that kind of friend. She'd never let me go alone to get the foot and hand goodness without sharing in the joy.
Beauty takes time, Internets. I discovered that the Man would have to go get The Boy so I could finish up. He obliged because he's that kind of guy. I think he might have gotten a little ticked at me because I called him at least three times to make sure he was awake and lucid enough to understand he needed to go. He didn't answer by the third call.
Our base was conducting a security drill of sorts yesterday. I don't know the particulars about it, except it makes it a pain in the butt to get on and off base. God help you if your vehicle is chosen for random inspection. I picked up the kids (Mak and the neighbors kids) from school and sat in line to get back to our home. Word of advice? If you are in the military...don't tint the windows of your vehicle. That just makes a gung-ho security guard all suspicious about you and your life and you are more than likely gonna get your vehicle inspected. Tough if you're running late for an appointment.
We were going to have to pick Paige up from school, so I decided we would all go together in case the base got all crazy and locked every gate for a while. As we were waiting outside the school for her, Fred and I were chatting some. I made the comment that four years ago, I would have never thought I would be sitting in front of a school in Georgia four years later. Fred laughed and said the thought was WAY outrageous. (paraphrasing there) But, in Georgia we are. Together. As a family should be.
Fred informed me that he had high aspirations for our anniversary. Flowers. A nice supper out for the both of us. I told him that I knew he was officially an old man and being up all night was hard on him now.:) I enjoyed my pedicure and manicure with Carla and the Chinese buffet hit the spot where we ate for supper.
I am so glad I still like my husband. Love him? Absolutely. With all my heart. I must...I moved 300 miles away from my family to be with him. I just can't believe that we've been together for six years total and I like him as a person. I didn't have that at all with my first husband and this is a novelty that I hope never goes away. (At this point, I'm sure that's not going to happen.) I talk with other women...some who have been married a short time and others who've been married for many years. Too many of them say they aren't "friends" with their husbands. I find that sad. If you can't have fun hanging out with the person who shares your life and your bed.....then what's the point? Just my thoughts and observations on the subject.
Oh, and please don't be fooled by the title of our party tomorrow night. Khaki Ball? A Ball? Cinderella, I am not. No glass slippers to be found on my feet (although they DO look amazing at the moment)(my feet, that is) I'm not clear on why the Navy insists on calling such things "Balls". I guess they get their kicks where they can. Last I heard, though, beer can be served anywhere.
Today I'm off to find the perfect black shoes to match my outfit. These tootsies of mine should be showcased. That, and the fact that I already had an outfit, so I NEED to buy something new. It's only fair, you understand.
Have a wonderfully Edgy weekend, Internets!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Six Years?? Wow.
I got me a date tonight, Internets. At a restaurant that takes reservations. Yeah, that's right. High dollar dining for Miss Hope at 6:30 p.m. this evening. And all of this romantic goodness? My husband's idea. I might just shave my legs for an occasion such as this.
Because today is the sixth anniversary of our meeting face to face. Ack...this means a small explanation. We met online before meeting online was cool. May 27, I do believe it was. Now for those who knew me then, quit counting on your fingers right this minute. I know that's when I was getting a divorce. BUT..and I stress BUT...I had already been to my lawyer for a consult and had put down a retainer fee because I was SO out of that relationship before I even knew The Man existed. I may not have been quite free legally to go about my business, but that mess was over and done with. I prolly should have waited longer, but when a present such as this is put in your lap? You don't argue, you open that sucker up and enjoy the mess out of it.
Shortening the story a tad. Fred was stationed in Pearl Harbor while I was living in S.C. He im'd me one night as he was PCS'ing* to Charleston in the next month. We struck up a conversation and, well, just talked. Alot. Next thing I knew, we were fighting a six hour time difference just to have a talk every day. He left Hawaii to spend a few weeks with his family before heading on to S.C.
He arrived July 11 and we thought about meeting around July 14th or 15th. We decided we couldn't wait. I juggled and smuggled and did what I could to make a meeting happen on Friday, July 13. And it did. We met. Face to face.
Then I reckon we did the next best thing.
We proceeded to live happily ever after.
Happy Anniversary, Honey. It's been an interesting six years and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Oh, and did I mention that I love you?
*PCS'ing. PCS stands for permanent change of station. Which is kind of stupid to me because no station is permanent, but that's the military for you.
And when I made mention last night about blogging about this, Paige called Fred "Mr. Sappy Comment Poster Man".
Some Miss Hope personal trivia. I was born on the 13th. I am the 13th grandchild on my mother's side. If there had been a 13th month and year available, I feel positive I would have had those, too.
Because today is the sixth anniversary of our meeting face to face. Ack...this means a small explanation. We met online before meeting online was cool. May 27, I do believe it was. Now for those who knew me then, quit counting on your fingers right this minute. I know that's when I was getting a divorce. BUT..and I stress BUT...I had already been to my lawyer for a consult and had put down a retainer fee because I was SO out of that relationship before I even knew The Man existed. I may not have been quite free legally to go about my business, but that mess was over and done with. I prolly should have waited longer, but when a present such as this is put in your lap? You don't argue, you open that sucker up and enjoy the mess out of it.
Shortening the story a tad. Fred was stationed in Pearl Harbor while I was living in S.C. He im'd me one night as he was PCS'ing* to Charleston in the next month. We struck up a conversation and, well, just talked. Alot. Next thing I knew, we were fighting a six hour time difference just to have a talk every day. He left Hawaii to spend a few weeks with his family before heading on to S.C.
He arrived July 11 and we thought about meeting around July 14th or 15th. We decided we couldn't wait. I juggled and smuggled and did what I could to make a meeting happen on Friday, July 13. And it did. We met. Face to face.
Then I reckon we did the next best thing.
We proceeded to live happily ever after.
Happy Anniversary, Honey. It's been an interesting six years and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Oh, and did I mention that I love you?
*PCS'ing. PCS stands for permanent change of station. Which is kind of stupid to me because no station is permanent, but that's the military for you.
And when I made mention last night about blogging about this, Paige called Fred "Mr. Sappy Comment Poster Man".
Some Miss Hope personal trivia. I was born on the 13th. I am the 13th grandchild on my mother's side. If there had been a 13th month and year available, I feel positive I would have had those, too.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Careful Now
Fred and I were out and about yesterday. Yes! By ourselves! We had some errands to run and I had to go by the super of marts because I had a meeting* at 6 p.m. and volunteered to bring something sweet. After leaving the super of marts, we decided to swing by the Chick Fillet for supper. I needed to eat before the meeting and he was in charge of supper, so Chick it was!
We were leaving C.F. to head back to house. I was preparing my sandwich so I could taste its chicken goodness when he hit the brakes "firmly"** and did a little jerk thing with the steering wheel. I paused a second to say "Whoa, now. Need to quit that jerking stuff." Then what? He had to swerve a little as I went to take a bite. I stopped. Looked at him. And said.....
"I have powers. Don't make me use them."
I then proceeded to eat my meal in peace for he was so afraid. ~snort~ Yeah, right.
* A meeting! Me! I am doing some volunteer work so that my resume will have something recent for when I go back in the work force when Vitt is in 4k. Smart me! Well, my Mama told me it would be a good thing to do.
**This is another post for another time, but suffice to say my husband and brakes in any vehicle he drives? They are close intimate friends by the time he gets where he is going.
We were leaving C.F. to head back to house. I was preparing my sandwich so I could taste its chicken goodness when he hit the brakes "firmly"** and did a little jerk thing with the steering wheel. I paused a second to say "Whoa, now. Need to quit that jerking stuff." Then what? He had to swerve a little as I went to take a bite. I stopped. Looked at him. And said.....
"I have powers. Don't make me use them."
I then proceeded to eat my meal in peace for he was so afraid. ~snort~ Yeah, right.
* A meeting! Me! I am doing some volunteer work so that my resume will have something recent for when I go back in the work force when Vitt is in 4k. Smart me! Well, my Mama told me it would be a good thing to do.
**This is another post for another time, but suffice to say my husband and brakes in any vehicle he drives? They are close intimate friends by the time he gets where he is going.
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