Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Was I Wrong?

First off, I can't thank you all enough for the incredible comments in the previous post. It touches The Man and I deeply that so many out there are rooting and pulling for our baby. You have been so helpful and I just ......well, just know I appreciate each and every one of you. I really do.

He did okay yesterday. Apparently there were a couple of issues at school, but nothing super major. I *think* he might have hit a friend (still not clear as his speech still needs work) and...uh....when they took the classes to watch that big deal up in Washington on one of the computers in one of the classes, he drug his feet and didn't want to go. No comment on that. Last night at supper was great. The Boy is really getting into his Two Fun/Funny Things we are doing. He told me had 4 or 5 or 6, but only two are allowed at a time. He got to go another round after everyone finished and it seems all was fun in his world. Even the grits, eggs, and bacon on his supper plate. We thoroughly enjoyed his animated participation. His eyes were bright and he giggled and stayed in his chair. Man, I love when he's able to do that. I could seriously eat him up.

Now, for a new thought.

I have a confession to make. I *think* I might have done something wrong, but I'm not sure.

When we go to visit family in South Carolina, we stay at my Grandma's house. Since she's bedridden next door, it works out really well. No one is put out and it's a familiar place for the kids (and myself!). It's not a big house, but it's enough for us for the short stays we do. We have all the comforts of home and I'm grateful to have the blessings of everyone to stay there.

I was packing up to head back to Georgia on our last visit. I washed the few dishes we had used and after they dried, I was putting them back in the cabinet. The kitchen is a galley style kitchen and I don't care how big or little you are, only one person needs to be up in there at a time. When I opened the cabinet to put the glasses up, I stopped. There sat my Grandma's measuring cup. A simple tin cup that has seen many better days. I stood there and I looked at that cup. Memories came over me like a wave. My brother and I stayed with my grandparents during the day while my parents worked. Every single day, she cooked us a hot meal to eat as soon as The Price is Right went off. We would sit in the living room smelling good stuff and we knew as soon as the Showcase Showdown was over? We were gonna eat good. Every single day, she made a batch of home made biscuits. They were always perfect. The kind of biscuits you'd eat loaded with butter and jelly. Some days, I'd poke a hole and eat the fluffy goodness out the middle it was so good. I remember seeing that cup on her counter every day. It was a faithful companion to her and a constant in my life that I couldn't grasp at such a young age.

I stood there and looked at that cup without moving. I got sad. Tears were in my eyes as I finally realized and faced the fact that my Grandma would never use that cup again. Never would she cook up a batch of her home made biscuits. A lost recipe as she never really measured...she just made them. I was overwhelmed with a sense of grief because it finally hit me. That stupid tin cup made me cry.

I grabbed that cup and put it in one of my bags to come home with me. I was almost kind of frantic about it, to be honest. I had no way of justifying what I was doing. I just knew I wanted, NO NEEDED, that cup with me. It was a part of my child hood and it was Grandma's. I didn't think about it again until we got back to Georgia and I was unpacking the bags.

I stood in my kitchen and looked at that cup. Held it in my hands. The memories surrounded me again of my child hood, but this time I didn't cry. I was starting to feel guilty. I hadn't asked if I could take the cup. I didn't consult with Grandma or any other family member. Why would they want an old tin cup anyways? I put it on my kitchen counter and walked away.

I couldn't stand it. When I talked to my Mama later in the week, I told her I had the cup. I told her why I wanted it, NO NEEDED, it. She understood and said it was okay. I still haven't told my Daddy or brother...or even my Grandma. But, someone knows. I really don't think it's something harmful in the grand scheme of things, but I felt bad about it. I wanted that cup because I'm such a sappy sentimental person. It gave me a piece of my childhood back and I want to share that with my children and maybe pass it down to one of them when they're older and on their own. I imagine that cup was part of my Daddy's life when he was growing up and, Internets? You just can't buy history like that.

What do you think? Was I wrong to act impulsive and take Grandma's measuring cup? I don't believe it'll be a free for all when my Grandma passes. We are a small family. She has a will and all of us know what is what with no hard feelings or ugliness in our hearts. Bless her, she doesn't have a lot. Most of what she has will lean towards sentimental anyway. The only other thing that I have expressed an interest in is her cedar chest. We'll see how it goes.

Here is Grandma's Measuring Cup.

Now it sits on my stove. It's so old and beaten it can't sit flat on a surface. The measurements on it are basic and probably not true because of the wear and tear during it's life. I believe it still has a long way to go.


Neighbor Debbie said...

Girl I swear if you make me cry one more time with one of ur posts I will come over and jerk a knot in ur tail. I think what you did is alright in my book. My grandmother who passed away 8 years ago, left a whole house full of memories for me. My grandmother would wake me and my sister up in the mornings for school and be home when we got back. We lived on a farm so we were all right there next to each other. When she passed my grandfather was still alive. It didnt take my uncle no time to move grandpa in with them ( even though he had a home health care provider) so his house was empty. My cousin Brittany and her family moved in, which is ok because neither me or my sis want to move back. But with a 2 bdrm 2 story house full of stuff all I got is some figurines which I have never seen and some tin drinking cups. That is it. The one and only thing I wanted is my grandmother vanity. It is was a honkin huge thing and I would have taken a car trip all the way to Idaho to get it but my aunt took everything. Even my sister who went back for my grandfathers funeral several years later ( I couldnt make it Navy wouldnt give Greg the time off) she didnt get all that much more eithe. My aunt took it all. SO now that I'm done with my rant I think your grandmother will be just fine that you have that cup and Im glad that it hold so many memories that you are able to have it. I say good for you. Love ya

Krys72599 said...

There is absolutely.nothing.wrong with you inheriting that cup a bit early! If your grandma knew how much it meant to you, what memories it brought back to you, she probably would have told you to "just go on and take it, girl!" (Not that I know your grandmama or anything!)
Think about what other people want: massive inheritances, the house, the money.
You? You wanted a tin measuring cup that you're not sure is even accurate any more!
Why? 'Cause it brings back all the love.
And that's reason enough to have it!!!

andria said...

You should have that cup. Write your granny a letter and tell her exactly what you wrote here about why you need that cup. Wouldn't she want to know about how and why that was important to you? I think it would make her day to know that something so normal and everyday helped form who you are.

When my grandparents passed I also took some of the kitchen utensils and their worn out bibles. No one else wanted them, no one cared that I wanted them, but they were important to them so I wanted them saved. My grandma was a product of the depression and carried most (if not all) of her money in her purse. My dad's sisters were convinced she hid money in the walls so all they wanted was that house, that falling down shack that they finished off. I went there a year later and all you could see was where they had sledgehammered all the walls, dug out insulation the works. Then instead of just knocking it down for some dignity they left it there and have never been back. It is so sad and I know my grandparents would be so embarrassed to have people drive by and see that.

Ok, I've gone off on a tangent, anyway, I know they're glad my family took the really important things.

And my mom, she buried my granny with that purse, money and all, because it was hers and she knew she couldn't rest without it.

I love your cup. It will look perfect with some flowers on your table.

ronee said...

Things get dirty when love ones pass away. I have to say if that is the one thing you get from everything then your thief actions are warranted! Just kidding..wash away your guilt, call grandma!
love you girlie!

Anonymous said...

Yes, this is girlfriend, who still cant remember her password....I am with Neighbor Debbie on "jerking a knot in ur tail" make me tinkle my big girl panties one more time, it is over for you want me to send that cup with you when you go or pass it on to one of your children or take it back to Grandma and tell on you for what you did?!?!?

My take on the cup...yes, Miss. Hope, being Southern Belles, you should have asked...and being a Southern Belle now you must call Grandma and tell her what you did, offer to return it...but I have a feeling that Grandma is going to beam with pride that you have those memories of her and tell you to make good biscuits with that same cup for your babies!!!

The family said...

oh - I love it. Please don't you dare feel guilty. I am sure she would want it to go to someone who would cherish it as much as you already seem to be. What a wonderful post. I love it and love you!How bout that?!

I am Boymom said...

I love that you need that cup. I have my Gramma's old measuring spoons for the same reason. When my dad passed away his wife - not my mom- would give me nothing to remember him by but the divorce papers from him and my mom. Yeah...nice. So I took his hat that he always wore and hid it in my car trunk. It smells like his cologne. It's all I have. You took something of little value to anyone else that means the world to you and your mom doesn't have a problem with it so I think you should not spend time feeling guilty and just enjoy the memories the cup brings to your heart and mind.

ronee said...

I forgot to tell you I tagged you! I know you already read my blog! but just as a reminder!

Joe and Samantha said...

those measurements are more then likely "spot on" - measuring with love is always best.


Bonita said...

Hey miss hope i'm back! Anyways about the cup, i believe it is okay for you to take that. I probably would have done the same thing.
There is a getar (sp?) that i got one christmas when i was 8yrs old and i loved it. i never learned to play it right but till i hit the preteens i always rocked out with it, playing toons a deaf man wouldn't want to hear.
When I went to WA this past month and took Brock to my old room, which is now a storage room, with a big hole in the wall leading to the bathroom (my dad is re-doing the house) but in the corner still was my getar that i have neglegted for so many years, it never made it in the move and my dad still kept it. I wiped it down and let Brock play with it. Maybe one day i'll take it back and get new strings and let my son have it.

Monogram Queen said...

I would have totally done the same thing then 'fessed up like you did. I am a FOOL for sentimentality! I love your memories of your precious family Hope. Thank you for sharing. It does my old heart good!

Busy Texas Dee said...

Girl I don't blame you. There is so much of our Grammy's stuff that I would have liked to have but I am happy with what I got. The main thing is a painting she had hung in her room that my dad had painted. He didn't like the way it came out and she did so she wouldn't let him throw it out. I also have a few dishes that she gave me that were hers. Mom and dad had given them to her. She gave them to me when I moved out on my own. Other wise she was going to donate them. So I totally understand where you are coming from. Love you.

Denise said...

Unless you know someone else in the family desperately wants that measuring cup, I can't imagine why you shouldn't have it. When my grandmother died a few years ago, we all mentioned which things we felt sentimentally attached to, and then divvied them out as fairly as possible. Nobody was greedy for the expensive things -- if anything, everyone bent over backward to NOT be selfish. It really is about the love, the memories, and the history. Good for you!

Yolanda said...

My granny had one very similar.