Crawling Through the Desert

Ever feel like you're crawling through the desert and there's nothing in front of you but sand? Nothing behind you but sand? And your canteen is bone dry? Yeah, me too.

I have been at the single parenting gig for a month straight now. With no break. Reminds me of a song from way back: How long can this go on? I'm okay most of the time but I think I almost jumped over that edge tonight. Just had enough, folks. Let me give you a sample:

• It rained here last week for 3 days straight. That's cool, we needed the rain. I had lake front property for a day or two there. One thing I forgot. When it rains over 8 inches in less than 72 hours, certain things happen. Ants. They have no where to go but in the house. I have cleaned masses of ants up at least 3 times a day with ant killer followed by a good dose of Clorox cleaner. Wouldn't be so bad if some of them weren't fire ants...something Vitt is potentially allergic to.
• The past weekend kept me in the house from Friday evening until this morning. Makenna was sick and I am old school in that I believe you need to just stay in the house and get better unless we're going to the doctor. I was getting a bad case of the "stir crazies", people.
• That boy of mine. If he's not into something he's either dead or asleep. He doesn't sleep alot right now. I've been on midnight shift with him quite a few nights the past week. Makes for a long day.
• Paige is being Paige. Which means I'm the conductor of a runaway hormonal train and the brakes don't work.

Then there is Grandma. She is very elderly. Still lives on her own. Fiesty as all get out. I have to pick Mak up from school this morning and I call and ask my Grandma to ride with me so she can get out a few. She gladly takes me up on my offer. When I drop her off back at home, I inquire as she's getting out of my van if she needs help? She replies..."I might not be moving by dark tonight, but I am now, so let me do it." Yes ma'am. I laugh and tell her I will leave once she in the house. As she is slowly climbing the steps to her front door, I tell her I will talk to her tomorrow. (I call and check on her daily) (and only once, mind you, or she'll think I'm checking up on her) She turns and says to me..."I know my past but I don't know my future...if I'm here tomorrow, I'll talk to you" She's not being smart-alecky....just wise. Put things in a whole new perspective for me.

I went by that lovely country store to purchase my Makenna some ice cream to help her heal faster. The lady in charge informs me that she has a supply of banana pudding in. OH ho ho. Dish me up one, sister. I had visions of later on in the evening...kids in bed....me and that ice cream being best friends. Here arrives the evening and the smaller ones are snoozing....Horatio is bustin' some butt on CSI: Miami...Paige is bathing with her radio going. Ahhhhhhh....good stuff. Forget "Calgon take me awayyyy". I am slowly eating and savoring every single bite. I am down to half of a cup. Paige walks in and says....Mama, can I have some? Well, crap. I gave her the rest so that she could enjoy too. I'm cool that way.

So much for an oasis. One day. Soon. I will find mine.