What do you think?

You'll have to scroll down for my Halloween greetings. I gotta share this with you because that's how I do business around here. I just sent Paige's advisor at school an email. She was just warm and enthusiastic when we met her and told me I could email or call her about any ol' little thing. I took her up on it. I promise on my Mama's cookbooks I emailed this moments ago.

Ms. Lamb,

I have a question for you. What exactly is "home fun"? I've been receiving emails from Paige's math teacher with Home Fun in the subject line for math.


Now, I've been opening emails that say HOMEWORK for many weeks now. I print this email out and put it up for Paige so she can keep track of what she needs to do.

All of a sudden, I'm receiving the Home Fun emails and my thought is....I guess there's no homework going on right now. Which seemed strange to me. Then again, high school has changed quite a bit since I last was there ( a whopping 19 years ago!)


I hear my daughters conversing the other day and they are making fun of the NEW AND IMPROVED HOME FUN CONCEPT. I asked them what they're referring to. They say their teachers are referring to homework as home fun.

Are you kidding me?

according to Webster's dictionary online, Fun is defined as;

Main Entry: 1fun
Pronunciation: ˈfən Function: noun
Etymology: English dialect fun to hoax, perhaps alteration of Middle English fonnen, from fonne dupe Date: 1727

1: what provides amusement or enjoyment ; specifically : playful often boisterous action or speech

2: a mood for finding or making amusement

3 a: amusement , enjoyment b: derisive jest : sport , ridicule

4: violent or excited activity or argument

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about things in life being fun. Truly, I am...but who came up with this?

How can you justify going to school up to seven hours a day, only to come home and do one to two more hours of work in one subject and call it fun?

My 9 year old says in her child-like wisdom..."Playing the Wii is fun. Riding my bike is fun. Sitting at a table doing 25 math problems IS NOT FUN."

Who thought of this concept and do they realize how....uh......wrong this sounds?


I promise I am not trying to be difficult or confrontational. I just wonder if I, as an adult, looks at this and laughs? Can you not expect the children who this concept is being pushed upon think the same way?

Work is what it is...work. Fun is what it is...fun.

I am just a confused parent trying to find a way to explain to my children that someone was obviously having an off day and thought calling homework Home Fun was believable. It happens, you know.

Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,

Miss Hope (okay, I signed my legal name on the email, but you get the Miss Hope signature on the blog)

I've been stewing on this for a while now. I'm sure I had grammatical errors in my email. Hey! It's been at least 17 years since I took an English class. Cut me some slack, would you?

I apologize if I offend any teachers out there who are on the new HOME FUN bandwagon. Because, seriously? It's stupid. Makes me laugh every time I think of it. I hope the schools realize how stupid it makes them look.

Home Fun.

~snort~

p.s. Edited to add: This does NOT reflect on those who homeschool. That's a whole 'nother world that I hear nothing but good about.

Boo, Ya'll

See that ultra cool pumpkin? That particular pumpkin belongs on a long sleeve shirt of mine. I've had this shirt for ...three years, I believe. I have not been able to wear it because it's too hot this time of year. For some reason, we are having some cool-ish weather the past few days. I totally dug it out today to wear because I fear it might be 90 degrees again tomorrow. AND......if I'm feeling froggy enough? I might just wash it and wear it again trick or treatin'. Be safe as you're out and about on Halloween night.

Uh...wow....uh...yeah

I stressed pretty much the whole morning during Compass. I sat and wondered how my son was doing on his new dosage of medication. I got through my presentation (thanks for the compliment, Lisha!) pretty decently. I am a tad on the passionate side about education and knowledge is power and all that rot. I want the ladies who take this class to be able to go home and TELL their husbands how the Navy runs.

Compass was over around 1-ish. I met The Man back at the house and we headed over to The Boy's school because they were having a mini Fall Festival outside on the playground the last hour of school. We both knew that we needed to go because if we didn't? They would probably have to put a teacher on him to follow him around. We just know how he is.

We got to the class and met the teachers who had HUGE grins on their faces. That made me walk slower because what exactly did that mean?

He had a perfect day.

As soon as that medication kicked in, he was focused and calm. He didn't run in class. He was able to sit and converse with friends at the breakfast table.

I sat and watched my child sitting on the carpet beside his teacher. She was passing out the goody bags to the kids so they could line up to go outside. He sat there. Why is this such a big deal? Because HE WAS SITTING THERE. He wasn't antsy. He wasn't hopping on his knees. He wasn't calling the teacher's name over and over and over again. He was sitting there waiting patiently. Quietly.

I wanted to cry. In four and a half years, I have not seen my child this calm and collected.

What a wonderful teacher he has. She was quick to inform us that she had kept an eagle eye on him all day long. She made sure he ate good for breakfast and lunch. She made sure he wasn't getting lethargic or "zombie-ish".

He got a sticker for outside! He never gets one there. He's like this bundle of energy released when he hits the door. At one point, he was sitting on a little platform under the jungle gym. Miss K. immediately went over to ask if he was feeling okay. His reply? "Yes, ma'am. I'm fine. I'm waiting on my friends." Even the other teachers outside noticed.

We enjoyed this festival like never before. He went from game to game at a nice safe pace. He waited in line for his turn and didn't push or holler. He laughed when he did well playing a game.

Wow. Is this how it can be on a regular basis?

We could tell it was starting to wear off around 2:30. But it wasn't a SLAM-the-meds-are-gone kind of wear off. It was a gradual thing and around 7:00 p.m., I could tell it was completely out of his system. Enter the melatonin to make sure he could go to sleep okay and it ended up being a good day. A very good day.

Is this new dosage the answer? I'm thinking it can be part of it. Now, we get to buckle down and help him learn control, balance, articulation, and that he is just plain wonderful.

I am considering some occupational therapy to help him out. He's a physical little guy and I want to know how to help him use his energy for good. Besides, I think Tuesdays are open? That might be the one day of week there's not a standing appointment somewhere. Lord help us when T-ball starts in the Spring!

Don't worry, Miss K. will continue to keep a sharp eye on our boy. She will monitor his eating and everything else she can think of. She's making notes and making sure he's okay. I can't ask for more than that, now can I?

I still want to cry when I sit and remember......he sat there.

Another answer

I was told yesterday to double The Boys dosage. Wow. Wonder what this is going to do.

I won't know because he'll be at school when it kicks in.

I can't keep him home because I'm working with Compass today. It's that time again. One of my sections to present is this morning and I'm wondering how on earth am I going to focus and do my job if I'm worried about my baby.

Good thing The Man is available for quick pick ups and consults right now. He hasn't started his new project yet, so he's a little loose in the desk chair. Works for me. That means I have more help with all the doctor appointments and what not. In fact, Dad took him for his first speech therapy session yesterday. They came home with flash cards and knowing how to practise. Man, I do love this co-parenting gig we got going on.

I am so fortunate to have friends I can consult with about my boy. I want to thank Melinda over on the West Coast. She has been an amazing help to this troubled Mama's heart. After I talked to the doctor yesterday, I called her to see what she thought. Why? Because she and her family are on the same path....just a few steps ahead. I thank all my local pals who might be on the same path or just are there to lend a much needed ear.

Now, I get to start my day and give my son double the dosage to see if it will help him. Trial and error with medications mixed in with it being my baby? Not good stuff, Internets. Not good at all.

By the way, in the midst of all of this, my 9 year old daughter has decided she wants to grow a few inches, purchase a slightly padded bra, and catch amazing attitude. What is up with that? It's killing The Man. She was two when they met and bonded. She's still two in his eyes. Definitely not old enough to be wearing a bra that hooks in the back!!!

Take a Gander

A fellow Navy wife is doing a give away on her blog. I think its worth your while to go check it out! It's a family crest and I know she leans towards the military, but my thinking is she's so talented, she can whip up anything you can think of!

Check out Lovely Yellow Ribbons!

Blessed

I am so blessed.

Let me tell you why.

My children are healthy. The Man and I are, for the most part, healthy.

Paige found out yesterday she has a spur on her ankle bone. Fourteen years old and got a spur. How about that? We're still blessed, though. Why? Because my husband gets up every day and goes to work to provide us with a health plan that will help my child when this problem has to be addressed more thoroughly. She also has insurance with her bio-dad that will kick in and help out, too. Whatever she will need...she will get.

Makenna has allergies like nobody's business. The price she pays for living in the Bermuda Triangle for allergies. (I promise you, this place is crazy with allergies. I stand on the belief that this base was built on a swamp and the land is still pissed about it and, therefore, tortures us all with bad allergies.) Yet, every night, she takes her allergy medication that costs an outrageous amount in the civilian world. We tell the base pharmacy she needs it and just pick it up. She has what she needs and we don't have to worry.

My son. Bless his hyper heart. He's seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist, and a speech therapist at the moment. All I have to do is show up with him. My husband has amazing psych coverage on his health plan. I had to fight for a couple of those, but I don't have to pay Dr. M. $200.00 for an hour of his time. We have to pay $22.00 for his new medication (base pharmacy doesn't have it), but that's a heck of alot better than the $500.00 a month my Mama pays for her insulin.

I was doing some research last night online about the ADHD. I'm telling you, Internets. I won't rest until I know all I can possibly know. The articles that just hurt my heart so much were the ones where people had to struggle so hard to pay for help for their children with issues. My heart just literally HURT because I didn't stop to think how fortunate we are.

I have a Blog'ing friend who has some bad health issues going. Serious up bad. In the midst of all her trouble, she has the compassion and kindness to mention me in her blog. She has friends she wanted to recognize as having troubles of their own. I'm not linking to her because she doesn't need gawkers at the moment. I'm feeling right protective of her right now. She knows she's in my prayers.

I'm just flat out blessed is all I'm saying. My life isn't easy and taking three different roads with each of my kids isn't a cake walk. I haven't had the energy and time to devote to friends because I've been all consumed with my baby, but I'm sure they understand. ( I HOPE they do!)

I don't know how all of you do it out there in Internet Land, but I walk around talking to Jesus on a regular basis and I've been telling the Big Guy upstairs all morning how blessed I am. I ask him to light my path with my children to help me help them find their way. I ask him to have mercy on sick family and friends and lay His healing hand on them.

Many people are afraid to put their religion "out there" in Blog Land, for fear of being ridiculed and such.

My advice? And it might not be worth a pot of rice to you, but I'll say it to you anyway. If you are blessed? It's good to let God know that you know and are appreciative.

And I am.

Results

Ready for the weekend, Internets? I'm not so sure I am. Tomorrow is shaping up to be right busy for us here at The Edge. Birthday parties, golf lessons, teen get togethers. It's all good, I suppose. The kids are busy and maybe that means The Boy will sleep well tomorrow night. One can hope.

The medication isn't working. At all. ~sigh~ I really wanted to be able to come on here and say we had a "TA-DA!" moment. We didn't. The lowest dose didn't touch my boy at all.

I spoke with my Mama Tuesday evening and she wanted to know how things are going. I said...."Mama, you ever watch those nature shows where they use those dart gun tranquilizers on elephants?" She laughed and said yes. I said..."Well, my baby didn't even stagger. We're gonna need more darts for his butt." Not the greatest analogy, but I bet the majority of you can relate and understand exactly what I meant. I did the right thing and waited to see how he would do in class. Miss K. was sad to say it wasn't different at school, either. Well, shoot.

I put a call in to the doctor yesterday and never heard back from them. That kind of ticked me off since I called as soon as their answering machine was turned off. I wanted to give the doctor a full day to get back to me. Of course, I shall call back this morning and crank up my Southern saccharine accent. Those who know me are scared when I go into a deep Southern accent. I am ticked off by that point and enunciate every.single.syllable. Scarlett O' Hara has nothing on Miss Hope when she goes into this mode. This is my baby we're dealing with here, man.

I've also received a few phone calls and emails about a new thing out on the market. Women's World magazine this week has an article in it about a child with issues. The mother tried this belt and it worked wonders! You can be skeptical about this but let me tell you my experience thus far. Stef of Pike's Pickles fame took time out of her busy schedule one day to talk with me about occupational therapy and such. She's got loads of experience in this area, you see. She told me to do some deep tissue massage on The Boy when he's really out of control. The speech therapist who evaluated him had told me to do the same thing. It works more than it doesn't. I can tell you with honesty that he's had a few situations where I've started rubbing his back hard (where I feel like my fingers will break) or massaging his arms and he's immediately calmed down. It hasn't solved any problems, but it helps him calm down and find his focus. While at the Doctor on Monday, without thinking, when he started getting really out of control? I leaned him over my lap and started some deep tissue rubbing on his back and he calmed down. Sure, the doctor noticed and said that he's seen that work and even approved it.

I can't be there with him constantly to do this.

Enter this belt everyone has been telling me about. I'm thinking there might be something to it. If you have kids who don't have issues like this, then it won't interest you. I do ask you do a teeny tiny bit of research and reading. You WILL meet someone one day who might benefit from a little bit of knowledge you might have.

Speaking of knowledge. A very dear blogging friend out in Internet Land has squeezed my heart. Within hours of posting the diagnosis, I had an email waiting to tell me books were on the way. She works at a publishing company that publishes books on this subject. I called to thank her and heard her voice for the first time! How blessed am I? She refuses to let me pay for this generous gift of over a dozen books. We've started receiving them and The Man has settled in to do some serious reading. I'll do the same, but he gets first pick. He needs the data cause that's how he rolls. I feel like I have my own personal angel helping me look out for my baby. I don't want to put her name out here, because I don't want her bombarded with requests for free books. If you want? I'll post when we're done with one, and I'll be more than happy to pass mine on. Thank you so much, my friend. You're an amazing person to do this for The Boy.

I guess this means we haven't taken any steps forward, but no steps back either. We're standing in one place waiting to see which way to go from here. I knew it would be a long shot to get it right the first go round. I'm just a little on the tired side of it all. I'm more concerned about my baby and helping him make it in this world and be the very best he can be.

This is not going to turn into a blog dedicated to one subject. It's just a dominant subject in my world right now. I may have to start another blanket so I'll have something else to focus on. How'd you like that? Thanks for the comments. I wasn't expecting all that! I am right proud of finishing something so big and it being loved so much. I needed that sense of accomplishment, I believe. We did a cute project at Crafts and Conversations this week. I'll try to post some pictures this weekend and share with you.

It's raining here. A perfect day to sit inside with my coffee, laptop, and HGTV. Yep. I'll be heading off to get dressed now since I got places to go and people to see.

Be sure to get your costume together for Halloween this weekend. I got mine. Stock up on your candy, too. And NOT THE CHEAP KIND!!! Nothing sucks worse than getting home and your kid has a bag full of cheap stuff. Throw in another dollar and get some chocolate, people.

The Project

A month or so ago, I got this bright idea to make my son an afghan. I had walked over to Neighbor Debbie's one morning (probably for a Crafts and Conversation consult) and she was crocheting with a mutual friend of ours, Judy. Wow. They were actually making something. I knew a little bit about crocheting, thanks to my Mom, but I never really learned how to make anything and I can't read a pattern for squat. Add in the fact that I'm left handed while most of the rest of the world is right handed....I just never pursued it.

Both friends assured me I could most definitely make an afghan and they would help me figure it out. Neighbor Debbie and found out quick that if she stood in front of me like a mirror, I could grasp what she was showing me and copy it.

An Idea was born!

Now to figure out what color to use. Duh. The Boy is all about some green, so that was a no-brainer. I wanted a solid neutral boy color to go with it. Enter the color barley. A good brown to go with the green. I wanted it to be dark and comfy and not show dirt so much.

When I went to start it, Neighbor Debbie told me I was going to do two strands at one time to make it fluffy and thick. I am? She was showing me how and picked up a green and brown and demonstrate. Hmmm. Neighbor Greg commented that he really like the two colors mixed together. Well, there ya go.

Many hours later. Many ripped out rows. Many cramped fingers. Many frantic calls for Neighbor Debbie to check and see if I had screwed up. Many times hearing my sweet Kid say, "Is it finished yet? Is this mine, Mama? It's MINE!". All those "manys" and it was done this past weekend.

It took me a little over a month to finish my very first blanket. Oh, man, does it have flaws in it. A hole here that's bigger than it should be. Slightly crooked on one side where I will not show you because it embarrasses me. Best thing about it? The Boy doesn't care. He LOVES his blanket and totes it all over the house. It helps him slide across the tile floor with ease. It keeps him warm at night while he sleeps. That makes it a perfect completed project to me.

Being the seasoned blogger that I am, of course I took some pictures to show my blanket journey.

Who knew these skeins of yarn could make a blanket?

My family got used to seeing this on a regular basis.

This also became the norm. When the blanket got big enough, people (namely The Boy) would gravitate to it and try to cover up with it while I was working. Please note how his big toe found a hole. Lovely.

To finish it off, I did a simple green border and a slightly bigger brown border. Gave it some definition and make it look complete.

It...uh...ended up bigger than we anticipated. He can totally take it to college with him.

That concludes my first crocheting project. It wasn't bad at all. I have some yarn left over and I'm contemplating making him a MUCH smaller blanket to have in the truck when we travel. No need to let it go to waste. Like I said, it's not perfect, but he loves it and that's all that matters.

A Watchful Eye

The Appointment.

It went really well. I have to admit I was leery of meeting this new doctor. I heard from Rose (The Boy's psychologist) that although she really liked working with him, he was on the abrasive side. She kept assuring me that if I didn't like him, we could find another psychiatrist. Another friend or two mentioned he was abrasive so don't get upset over it. I won't lie, I was expecting this grumpy old man who deep down hated kids to greet us.

By golly, I liked him. Does that mean I'm abrasive, too? I'm thinking I can be at times. What did I like? His blunt this-is-how-it-is-and-I'm-not-gonna-B.S.-you attitude. He was approachable and asked many questions. As we talked to him, we were constantly trying to get The Boy to sit down and behave. Dr. M. never said a word about it until he looked at us and asked what we thought about medication. I kid you not, Internets. I started running off at the mouth like I had no sense. I can't even begin to tell you what I was talking about. Finally, I stopped, looked at him, and said, "What do YOU think about medication?" He smiled and said, "I think we might need to try something." He pointed out that we had tried to redirect The Boy at least a dozen times since we got in his office. I hadn't realized it, I was just doing what was normal to us.

The Man was able to express his views on medication and how he wasn't too thrilled about it. The doctor respected his thoughts but was able to counteract a few of them with experience and data. The Man is all about some data.

It is not common for children under age 6 to have to take medication. Some times it has to be done.

The Boy has been given focalin xr to try. Dr. M. says he wants to try this one because it lasts 6-8 hours...long enough for a school day. Then I went there. I said...uh, I'm all for a 10-12 hour type of pill myself. You don't know how hard it is in the afternoon and evenings! We are all worn clean out by the time bedtime comes. It's like we all sit down with a collective SIGH when we get The Boy in bed at night. It's some tough living at times.

This isn't something we want to do. I don't want to medicate my four year old child. But, I can tell you this. If he had asthma? I'd make sure he had medication. If he had diabetes? I'd make sure he had medication. Whatever it took....I'd make sure he has it. What's going on now? It's not asthma or diabetes, but there's something going on that has to be addressed.

My friend Jill said his issue has a name now. That gives us ammunition we didn't have before and we are now given power to find a solution that works best for him.

We're doing the best we can, Internets.

I have my baby home with me today. I want to be the one to see how he reacts the first day he takes this pill. I want to be the one who can tell the doctor how it worked the first time. He has a wonderful teacher that we adore, but this falls under MY jurisdiction. That's how I roll.

Another plus to this certain pill? If he can't swallow it, I can open it and sprinkle it on some pudding or applesauce. Yeah, we had to do that. Bless his heart, he sure tried to take it like a big boy, but just couldn't swallow it. I broke out the pudding and sat down with him and explained the deal. I don't ever force my kids to do something without explaining the deal. There have been times I've had to make them, but usually if I stay calm and tell it how it is? They cooperate. And he did beautifully. Hey, he scored some pudding first thing. That's huge in his world.

Now, we wait and see. I'm typing to you and I have an eye on him. I don't know what I'm expecting. I think, in my inexperienced way, I'm anticipating this "light switch" moment. Where he goes from jumping from one piece of furniture to another, to sitting down and being perfectly still. Seriously? I'd settle for something in the middle of that. It hasn't been an hour yet since he took it. This is killing my nerves!

Twenty years from now, this kid better look back on my blogging days and realize just how much his Mama loves him. If he doesn't? I'm going to smack him up side the back of his head. Mark my words. I'll do it. He might be a strapping 24 year old by then, but smack him I will.

One more thing to share with you. Yesterday was The Boy and Makenna's six month check up at the dentist. Now, he did wonderful last time, but that's not always a guarantee. The Man went with us because I felt having back-up was a good thing and it's easier to double-team when both parents are there. When they were both called back, The Boy started heading that way. I asked him if he wanted me to go with him. He replied, "No, Ma'am". Oh really? I smugly sat there and waited for them to come get me because there was no way he was going to go through the entire process without my presence there. After a while, no one came to get us. I just assumed they hadn't gotten to him yet and he was destroying the entire back of the office and they were just too proud to come get me. Smugness is not attractive, Internets. Next thing we know? He's coming out with his goody bag and two stickers. What??? We were informed that he was perfect. What????? He even let them take some x-rays. What????????? They were talking about MY kid!! I was so proud of him, I could have burst. We jumped right on the praise train and had him ten feet tall before we got home. That is such a HUGE accomplishment for any child. No cavities for either child. Ice cream was the reward.

Now, I get to go and watch my child with a Mama's Eagle Eye while I prepare for this week's Crafts & Conversations at the base Chapel and get my stuff straight for Compass class next week.

A text from Chelle yesterday said something to the effect of: "You can't have just one thing going on, can you?"

Humbled

The comments. The emails. The IM's. The text messages. The phones calls.

The love and support The Man and I have received concerning The Boy just overwhelm and humble me.

There are times when you are down and almost, but not quite, out in this life. That's when you know who your real friends are....even if you've never met some of them face to face.

We are preparing for battle here at The Edge. We are fighting for our son and brother. I'm not being melodramatic, either. We are going to work together as a family.

If you think of something I might need to address with the psychiatrist, I'm surely still open for suggestions and advice.

Again, I thank each and every one of you.

What a thought process

I apologize for not blogging this week. It's been hard thinking about what I wanted to post. I could keep it to myself and not put my bizness out there, but right now I'm so consumed with this, I wouldn't be able to give you anything else.

My baby has been diagnosed with ADHD.

There. I said it.

After 7 visits with Miss Rose, she finally looked me in the eye and told me what I thought but didn't want to hear. It was really odd. I was relieved to hear something FINALLY. I was sad because it seems to be something that society has freely handed out to many children lately.

I believe her, though. I believe he has issues that need to be taken care of and handled. How exactly we're going to do this is still in the works.

I called a psychiatrist Rose recommended that specializes in children. After talking with the receptionist, we were given an appointment for next Monday. Which kind of shocked me since I was prepared to wait for 1-3 months to get in. I think maybe the desperation in my voice stirred the receptionist's compassion?

The Man, The Boy, and myself will go together and talk with the doctor. I am not sure what I'm expecting?

I have this black binder that I carry to all of The Boy's appointments. I have his incident reports from school, teacher notes, my notes, behaviour charts, and referral sheets all filed and in order. I look like a dork, but I can whip out any information you would want.

What questions do I ask this doctor? He's had at least twenty years of experience in this field, but how do I convince him how special my baby is? How intelligent and sharp his mind is? I don't want to mess with his being able to learn and enjoy life, but something has got to give. I'm tired. The Man is tired. The Sisters are tired. His teacher is tired. We have all been working so hard together and there's no improvement. He can't keep his hands to himself. He can't walk....has to run instead. He can't continue like this and stay in 4K. The Man had to go pick him up from school this morning by 10:30 because he just couldn't listen and keep his hands to himself. ~sigh~

This is my baby. The one I now have to call "Kid". He has the beautiful smile and gives the bestest hugs in the world.

He also will start speech therapy on Monday, the 27th. How about that? He has more appointments than should be right for a person his age going on. We have to work on his articulation and teach him how to SLOW down so as to be understood.

Wow.

This is a big load.

I couldn't work a 40 hour a week job if I wanted to. Truly. How on earth women do it every day is beyond me. My heart goes out to any parent who has to work and on top of that deal with a child who has issues. Right now I am so grateful we are in a position where I can be available to do all this stuff.

This is what's been sitting heavy on me. My poor friends who have been within reach of my voice are probably tired of hearing me talk it to death. I have analyzed the pro's and con's of everything single thing I can come up with. As soon as I realize I'm not a doctor? I think I'll be better off.

But, I am a Mama. And I take my job very seriously.

I shall meet this doctor Monday and ask every single thing I can think of. I won't go in blind and we won't make decisions blind, either. Dangit.

If you have any advice, give it. Just be kind, please. My nerves are so raw right now. I have a mouth full of ulcers and fever blisters from the stress. If there are questions you think I should ask? Let me have it. The only dumb question is the one not asked, right? I am not perfect and all knowing. Whatever little duck I can line up behind me is more than welcome.

My child is not broken. That is one thing I know for certain.

A long weekend

Have you ever had a pair of comfy shoes? A pair of shoes you could always count on to fit and make your feet happy? How, when you put this pair of shoes on, you seemed to relax and just be one with the universe?

That's how going home has always felt to me.

Until this past weekend.

Oh, the shoes still fit just fine. They just didn't seem to have the same effect they normally do. My "home shoes" felt a little funny. I haven't been wearing them on a regular basis so they weren't as familiar as they were before. I had to shuffle some and I might have tripped a few times trying to get back into the groove of wearing them. By Sunday morning, I was ready to put them back beside the door.

What a shoe analogy, huh?

Home still feels like home....but it's not the same. I think everyone there is used to us being gone and well, we're used to being gone. My family has moved on and gotten a groove going on that really doesn't include us. It doesn't make me mad...just a little sad. I want to go there and just fall right back into how my mind wishes it to be. It can't. I go to stand in a spot that I know, to find it's been filled because of need and necessity. It's hard for me to accept that things change some times. Life doesn't wait for you to approve or disapprove. Change happens and the universe doesn't give a whit if you are a Taurus or not.

The Boy had a weekend full of issues. I'll do a post on just him (prolly tomorrow) and fill you in. Suffice it to say, my nerves were beyond shot, and for my trouble, I have a mouth full of ulcers and fever blisters going on. That's what nerves do to me when I let them take over.

I did get to see a few friends I've been missing. We got to share a meal with Chelle Friday night. Ahhh...now those shoes are never ill-fitting. We fall right back into our groove of 15 years easily. The pictures of her kitchen doesn't do it proper justice. It is gorgeous! She gave me a birthday/Christmas combo present...a pineapple lamp! Miss Hope do love her pineapple decor and accessories. I've been looking around my home trying to figure out exactly where I'm going to put that treasure. It was so good seeing her and getting to spend some quality chat time. We both agree we never have enough time to fully appreciate each other.

Saturday evening I got to spend some time with some other girlfriends. Lu, Mar, and Debbie (we shall call her Debbiecakes so as not to be confused with Neighbor Debbie). I graduated with both Lu and Debbiecakes. Mar is my long time homie clubbing partner. (Yeah, I did that scene on a regular basis. Not anymore, though. My hips might stage a revolt if I took them dancing like that again). We sat at a local Mexican restaurant (ha ha...I ate Mexican two nights in a row!) for a few hours and just had a blast catching up on our lives and digging up a few good memories. I hated to see it end as time with them is few and far between. We had to laugh at the end of the night when we kept remarking what a good time we had had. I piped up at one point and said, "And there wasn't a drop of alcohol involved!" Although, to hear us laugh, you might've thought we were sipping something!

I'm not saying it was a bad weekend at the beginning of my post. You can see fun was had. We (The Man and I) just wonder what's in store for us when he retires. Our parents seem to be aging on us and we're not happy with that one bit. I worry about my parents. He worries about his parents. We worry together about both sets. We want to be near them and help them, but we can't right now. It's hard on us being so far away, but we love where we are, too. Talk about hard, Internets! My Daddy was talking to me this weekend and I told him I felt so bad. He informed me he wasn't trying to make me feel bad, he was just telling it like it is. I can count on him to be honest and up front with me. It's a heck of a lot better than sitting in the dark.

Am I rambling enough for you, yet? Four days is a long time to be without Internet when you have a blog and like to put your thoughts down.

I get to share some pictures with you now. We took a picture Saturday night and I was going to share with you, but I had an orange shirt on and I swear to you I looked like The Great Pumpkin. You'll just have to take my word for it because I ain't showing it.

On our way up I-95, we stopped off at the Brunswick, Georgia exit to grab a bite to eat. We were shocked to see this price for gas. I thought it might have been a mistake. Nope. You know we filled up. In fact, I told The Man I'd bounce a little and get the kids to so we could fit more into every crook and crevice of the gas tank. 2.89. Wow, I can't remember when I've seen that. Oh...I was totally sending picture text messages to people to share our good fortune

If you go back and look at my November posts, you'll see a picture similar to this one. We always stop at the Steak & Shake on our way up to South Carolina for Thanksgiving. This year we don't get to go home for T'giving, so we went ahead and stopped. I know the picture isn't the greatest quality. Apparently, the sun shone for a brief moment and put a glare on a good picture.

I got The Chief involved in my picture taking, too. Guess where he works? That girl is all about her Cat Navy.

On the way back home, The Man decided to put just enough gas in the Hoe to make back to the Brunswick exit. We were all excited to see if that gas was still going to be 2.89. We were hard pressed to find that gas goodness anywhere else in our weekend travels. This is the gas station in Brunswick. What a long line of cars! Wonder why everyone is waiting in line like this???

THIS IS WHY!!!! I remember right before Katrina hit, we were paying 2.60 a gallon. Wow. That Man of mine was putting as much as he could in the Hoe. For the first time, we were able to fill up for a little over 50 bucks. Not bad, huh?


I took this picture because it was dark and it was so red and sparkly. Like a beacon in the night......"Come get gas you can afford........."

This concludes the pictures I thought to get from our weekend. It was good, yet bittersweet at times. I'm sure alot of you can understand that. Now, I'm off to get some house straight. Miss Hope is having herself a Tupperware party tomorrow night! I kid you not. I need me some new stuff!

The Beast

Monday, my phone chirped. I went to check it out and there was a calendar notification. It basically said The Boy needed a booster shot. I vaguely recalled putting it in my phone at his 4 year old appointment. See, with three kids, if I don't do stuff like this? I forget. Just totally forget.

I informed The Man we had to take him in for a booster, and soon, lest I forget again. After calling the immunization clinic inside the base clinic (confused yet?), I was told to bring him in yesterday afternoon. I told The Man he had to go this time because I had this feeling it wasn't going to go smooth.

The Boy and I arrive and it's pretty busy. I knew The Man was on his way and would arrive soon. To my surprise the young (VERY young) corpsman went ahead and got it all set up and got the shot. I said to myself let's get this over with. The Boy saw that needle and remembered the last visit and declared there was no way on this God's green Earth he was going to go willingly.

I was sitting in a computer chair with my legs wrapped around his and bear hugging him with his arm exposed. The Boy went BEAST on me. The corpsman backed up a few steps and looked very alarmed. I told him to do it and get it over with. Nope. That boy of mine went ten times past ballistic. Next thing I know The Man is there and trying to talk to and soothe the kid. The corpsman told me to put him on the now available table.

Now, I feel my husband is a wonderful father. He truly is. He wanted to sit and talk with The Boy about the whole process. I grabbed my son, basically threw him on the table and laid over his torso and said DO IT ALREADY. There was no amount of talking going to convince him that a shot was a good idea. The nurse leaned against the bottom of his legs. The Man held down his hips and I took the arms and torso.

Blink. It was done. I let him up and gave him over to Dad so I could get my shot record and whatnot from the corpsman.

I promise you. That guy was so shook up his hands were shaking. The Boy was so beastly and his voice reached ear piercing decibels. I tried to assure this young man that I had three kids and this was nothing new. I also told him not to let the wild ones mess with him like that. I left and it took all I had not to laugh where he could hear me.

HIS HANDS WERE SHAKING.

Dude, you are in the wrong field for sure.

I thought for a second there we were going to have to call the Marines in for help.

You know what, though? We're done with shots for a long time. Whew. Next time that kid might end being able to body slam someone.

Now I'm off to finish packing so we can head to South Carolina. I'm not ready for that long drive, but I'm ready to see my people. We'll head back to The Edge on Sunday.

Have a good weekend, Internets. Be safe.

What will it take?

I am seriously going to lose my mind with this 9 year old I have.

You tell her to go do something and on her way, she forgets what she was going to do.

I did a massive folding of clothes this morning. I fold, everyone else puts up.

I tell her to start putting up.

What does she do?

Find two fuzzy house socks that didn't have partners, put them on, then had to see how well they slid across the tile floor.

Clothes forgotten.

ARGH.

If we get out of here on time tomorrow afternoon to head to South Carolina, it'll be a flat out miracle.

Too Soon

The Boy and I have this thing. This thing where I say, "That's my baby!". He will then promptly reply, "That's my Mama!" It's a good thing we have, The Boy and I.

In fact, this morning on the way to school, we did our thing. My heart was warmed as I sent him off to a day full of PreK fun.

A short while ago, he was fussing with Makenna over something seen on the television. He came up to me and proclaimed that I must tell her she was wrong. I did. He then grabbed my chin to turn to him and told me to tell her he was right. I did.

He was a tad disgruntled and I asked him if he needed me to rock him like a baby to make him feel better. He then exclaimed that he wasn't a BABY!

I was allowed to rock him for a short minute. I started singing this nonsense song where I talk about rocking my baby. He quickly informed me I was to call him "KID". I was reminded of this at least six times while trying to sing my song.

Somehow, "KID" doesn't fit into the "Rockin' my Baby" song I've sung for the last four years and six months.

I think I'm sad.

Let's do some "catch-up", shall we?

I apologize to you, Internets. I didn't realize I had let days slipped by me like it did. It seemed like my life kicked into fifth gear after Wednesday got over with.

I am just adoring my Thursday morning program at the Chapel on base. Neighbor Debbie kicked in and let her creative brain juices flow, and we got great ideas just rolling. I have to be honest here...I'm just not crafty. I can do crafts and I do okay decorating (everyone's house but my own!), but to come with a project on my own? I have a seriously hard time doing that. I've stated to everyone from the moment I took it over that I have the voice and not the creative brain. Thank goodness I got friends who'll kick in and help a sister out. I got to meet with the new Command Chaplain last week and had a small meeting with him. He now knows my belief and passion and need for this program. Let's just hope and pray he sees fit to keep it going.

Friday morning found me headed to JAX (Jacksonville, Florida) to do some shopping with Judy and Neighbor Debbie. We all three had missions that involved Joanne's Fabrics. I needed more yarn to finish my son's afghan I'm crocheting. Didn't I tell you about that? Well, it's a work of love, lemme tell you. Worthy of it's own blog post if I ever get it finished. We grabbed lunch and made another stop at a favorite store before rushing home to get kids from school.

Friday evening found my family and I at Carla's house celebrating Braden's birthday! That boy scored some really nice stuff, for sure. Since we've been dieting, the sweets have become non-existent. Suffice it to say the birthday cake was amazing, but had the power to make us SICK. Whew. It was a great evening of hanging out and letting the kids play. Been missing doing that.

Saturday morning we woke up bright and early because there's was a festival downtown. That Paige had to march in. Otherwise? Miss Hope would have been in her gown most of the day. Dulcie is my partner in crime when it comes to festivals and such. We love to walk and look and see what the vendors have to offer. The smells of all different kinds of foods is amazing and we always run into people we know. Vladi, Jaime (with my baby Jordan), and Nicole were there and we all stood together so we could holler at Paige as she passed by. Our goal and aim was to distract her and see if she'd lose her step. We succeeded. High fives all around. Yeah, we're evil, but it was fun. This took up a major portion of our day and housework prevailed when we got home.

Chalk up today as a church day. We've found a church we're really enjoying. That's saying alot since we've been here two years. The kids love it. We're meeting lots of people. We'll see how it goes. I got a really good feeling about it, though.

See how busy I can get?

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. About that gym. Lord have mercy. On my thighs. I promise you, my thighs disowned me for about three days. It hurt to walk. It hurt to sit. It hurt to get up. It just flat out hurt. No pain, no gain. I'm not giving up, but I'm steering clear of that elliptical machine from Hades for a little while longer. Mercy. I've taken so much back & body pain meds it's not even funny. My muscles were nothing but HUGE knots for days. Oh, the agony.

Now, I'm going to share a few pictures with you from the past few days. I do so adore my handy dandy camera phone.

This was our project last Thursday. 6 inch clay pots painted like candy corn to make candy dishes. I love how all my ladies show their creative sides in everything we do. I think that's mine on the far right side.

Ainsley (Carla's), Erinlee (Dulcie's) and Makenna (mine!) at the festival. The guys were doing a potty break and we decided to take a quick picture. How pretty are these girls?!?


I have no idea who these Nut Heads are with the stylish shades.

We managed to get a picture with The Boy to prove he was there, too.

Now another week begins. There's a trip to South Carolina in the works for the end of the week. I need to lay my eyes on my Mama. There's a few friends I need to hug while I'm at it. My heart's been missing them lately.

Just Don't Know

I took The Boy for his speech evaluation yesterday. I'm not sure what I was expecting. A miracle perhaps?

After taking The Boy back, the lady came when she was done to tell me all kinds of mumbo jumbo. Like she was going to have to figure up his test scores and turn it in to insurance and what not. I just looked at her. I basically said I wanted to know something right then. I think she saw the desperation in my eyes and told me to hold on while she figured it up.

A few minutes later she came back to the waiting room and asked me to come back.

What I got from what she said ....because my son was in full blown froot loop mode and I was trying to keep him somewhat calm while I tried to listen to her.....is that his vocabulary was amazing. Lovely. His articulation needs helps. Ya think, Lady? I just know my voice sounded a tad on the frantic side when I told her, "Look, I have a hard time understanding him at times. I see him in a class with 19 other kids his age and I can understand them! They can't understand my son. It's causing problems."

To pass the test, he had to score between a 83-110 (for articulation, that is). He made like a 78. So, chances are, the insurance company will approve him getting some help. Most of what she talked to me about? How her stepson acted just like my son and how he was on medication until 3rd grade and that The Boy might need some occupational therapy where he's stimulated on a regular basis. For example, work in class for an hour, then bounce on a ball for ten minutes to get rid of energy. This is not something he would be able to do in a regular class room setting. I didn't tell her this, but I really didn't care to hear about her stepson. I want MY son helped.

I was just spent when I left there. I felt like not one single answer had been found. That doesn't mean I'm going to give up. It just meant for that single solitary moment? I was just tired of it. I need answers as to why my son acts the way he does. I need to know what I can do to help him. I know he's beautiful and every one is different. I know you're not supposed to compare children. I just want to be able to take him places and not have to worry about him giving in to his impulses and darting away from me. I want to enjoy taking him places and not dread it with every fiber of my being. I want him to see the world and not barrel through it like he's stuck in fifth gear.

I guess this means I better buckle in tight, huh?

On a slightly different note? We're still working out and losing some weight while we're at it over here. Carla and Dulcie are just knocking the heck out of it while Neighbor Debbie and I trail wayyy behind. Check out Dulcie's progress on her blog. I'm so proud of her! Go Girl!!!!!

This morning Neighbor Debbie and I are going to try the gym on base. We're waiting until the fit people leave before we venture over there. All the active duty go and work out early and we so do not want to be around those people. No thank you. I love to work with weights and putting it off won't help fix my bat wings. You know that skin that hangs around underneath the tops of your arms and it only gets worse with age? Might need to work on that before it gets any worse is my thinking.

I've also promised Neighbor Debbie that if the elliptical machine throws me? She totally gets to guest blog about it.

*edited to add: Back from the gym. Yeah. Okay. All I gotta say is that I have a sneaking suspicion some people hit the crack pipe before going there. No one in their RIGHT mind would go that fast on a stationary object. Sorry the elliptical didn't throw me. (I know you all were looking forward to a guest blog) It was touch and go for a while there. I did discover that I can't do what I think I can on that machine. Had to back off from it and hit the bikes for a while. I did get in over a mile and a half there. Little steps, Internets. I can't run a marathon yet. Besides....I can't feel my thighs right now.