Thursday, October 16, 2008

What a thought process

I apologize for not blogging this week. It's been hard thinking about what I wanted to post. I could keep it to myself and not put my bizness out there, but right now I'm so consumed with this, I wouldn't be able to give you anything else.

My baby has been diagnosed with ADHD.

There. I said it.

After 7 visits with Miss Rose, she finally looked me in the eye and told me what I thought but didn't want to hear. It was really odd. I was relieved to hear something FINALLY. I was sad because it seems to be something that society has freely handed out to many children lately.

I believe her, though. I believe he has issues that need to be taken care of and handled. How exactly we're going to do this is still in the works.

I called a psychiatrist Rose recommended that specializes in children. After talking with the receptionist, we were given an appointment for next Monday. Which kind of shocked me since I was prepared to wait for 1-3 months to get in. I think maybe the desperation in my voice stirred the receptionist's compassion?

The Man, The Boy, and myself will go together and talk with the doctor. I am not sure what I'm expecting?

I have this black binder that I carry to all of The Boy's appointments. I have his incident reports from school, teacher notes, my notes, behaviour charts, and referral sheets all filed and in order. I look like a dork, but I can whip out any information you would want.

What questions do I ask this doctor? He's had at least twenty years of experience in this field, but how do I convince him how special my baby is? How intelligent and sharp his mind is? I don't want to mess with his being able to learn and enjoy life, but something has got to give. I'm tired. The Man is tired. The Sisters are tired. His teacher is tired. We have all been working so hard together and there's no improvement. He can't keep his hands to himself. He can't walk....has to run instead. He can't continue like this and stay in 4K. The Man had to go pick him up from school this morning by 10:30 because he just couldn't listen and keep his hands to himself. ~sigh~

This is my baby. The one I now have to call "Kid". He has the beautiful smile and gives the bestest hugs in the world.

He also will start speech therapy on Monday, the 27th. How about that? He has more appointments than should be right for a person his age going on. We have to work on his articulation and teach him how to SLOW down so as to be understood.


This is a big load.

I couldn't work a 40 hour a week job if I wanted to. Truly. How on earth women do it every day is beyond me. My heart goes out to any parent who has to work and on top of that deal with a child who has issues. Right now I am so grateful we are in a position where I can be available to do all this stuff.

This is what's been sitting heavy on me. My poor friends who have been within reach of my voice are probably tired of hearing me talk it to death. I have analyzed the pro's and con's of everything single thing I can come up with. As soon as I realize I'm not a doctor? I think I'll be better off.

But, I am a Mama. And I take my job very seriously.

I shall meet this doctor Monday and ask every single thing I can think of. I won't go in blind and we won't make decisions blind, either. Dangit.

If you have any advice, give it. Just be kind, please. My nerves are so raw right now. I have a mouth full of ulcers and fever blisters from the stress. If there are questions you think I should ask? Let me have it. The only dumb question is the one not asked, right? I am not perfect and all knowing. Whatever little duck I can line up behind me is more than welcome.

My child is not broken. That is one thing I know for certain.


Neighbor Debbie said...

Hope darlin you can talk to me anytime any place. I have been there 3 time and I got the t-shirts. So if you need to borrow one of mine you can cuz I love ya sis. I'm here for ya.

Jenn and Eric said...

Hope, there is light on the horizon. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6. He did exactly those things that The Boy does. Through a wonderful counselor, positive praise, a set schedule, and a very understanding teacher, my brother was able to become a "functioning" member of society. It will work out. Keep your head up.

Only thing I can thing of to make sure you discuss is what kind of a punishment/reward system they want to use with The Boy. Punishing them generally does no good cause they truthfully cannot control themselves.

Good luck darling!

Krys72599 said...

Miss Hope, I'm sending you a personal email. I can make some resources available to you...
Talk with you soon!

Krys72599 said...

And, by the way, of COURSE he's not broken! He's your perfect Boy, and you're going to do all you can to make him a bit MORE perfect!!!
Thinking and praying for you all...

Michelle said...

We've already talked on the phone about this issue and I just know things are looking up now! Call me if you need me:)

Anonymous said...

Three out of four of my nephews all have ADHD and while they have their issues, of course, they're functioning quite well; each one using a different means of doing so. The one thing I might encourage is to make sure there's loads of family support (immediate family, I mean). That alone has been one of the greatest help tactics in my nephews' lives. Glad you FINALLY got an answer and don't have to sit in limbo any longer. Hugs & prayers to The Boy (I mean, Kid), and your family.

Sam, Missy and Alex said...

Whether you see it or not, I think your a rock and a survivor that will get through this. The Boy has a wonderful support system and you guys will prevail! Advice to give you, tonight when the Boy gets to bed make you a warm bubble bath and take a moment for you to breathe and relax. You have our prayers! Take care!

C said...

I'm glad you've got some answers now, at least. I agree: Your boy is not broken. :) I wish I could offer more than a prayer from the left coast.

Lishak said...

I'm praying that God gives you the strength and wisdom you need to be in this situation. You are a terrific mama and I admire you!

Pikes Pickles said...

Girl - you are one amazing mothre. Just what Vitt needs. He will overcome this and compensate and run a fortune 500 company single handedly. I know you can do this.

I am still open for the trade.

*})i({*Kayla*})i({* said...

ADHD really isn't bad. I was diagnosed with ADD and ADHD at the age of 7 and I grew out of it. I'm not sure how challenging it was for my mom, we never really talked about but she never gave me up for adoption so I'm assuming I was! He can and will overcome this! I graduated from one of the top ten schools in my state with a 3.46 gpa. I took all honors and AP classes. He will be fine and can be whatever he wants!!! Something as small as ADHD will not stop him from completeing his future goals and dreams! If anything this will make him a harder worker than the other kids! I will be praying for you and your family!!! =]

AndreaLeigh said...

Girl, I wish I had the perfect words for you, but I just don't know what to say. I know that your son is perfect in every way that counts. We all have our struggles and your son will overcome this hurdle and learn some important lessons in the meantime. I had a friend who was ADHD... she said she had to focus and struggle to learn while her peers did not, and guess what? She had better grades and GPA as a result. I know it is scary to think about medication, but keep your mind open for ALL the possibilities - that may be one of them. I will pray the doctor has an open mind, time, and wisdom to share with you Monday.

Dani said...

Praying for you Miss Hope and for your Boy. He is your perfect boy ... I know you guys will figure this out. Wish I could do more from this big grey ship. Sending you hugs!

Monogram Queen said...

I am just glad you have a starting point and you are such a wonderful advocate for your child. Some people would just be like "medicate him" and move on. Not caring about the effects or his long-term learning or anything at all. You are a WONDERFUL Mamma!

Kristi said...

Your son is lucky to have you as a mom. seriously. Just the fact that you take it to heart everything that is going on with your child and documenting everything says a lot about you. Hang in there girl. Things will get better.

Jacinda said...


I haven't read your blog in awhile, so I haven't been aware of what's going on with your baby. You sound frustrated, sad, & scared, and I'm sorry! I will say a prayer for your sweet boy and for YOU. Hang in there and know that I'm sending you some (((hugs)))!