Thursday, October 09, 2008

The Beast

Monday, my phone chirped. I went to check it out and there was a calendar notification. It basically said The Boy needed a booster shot. I vaguely recalled putting it in my phone at his 4 year old appointment. See, with three kids, if I don't do stuff like this? I forget. Just totally forget.

I informed The Man we had to take him in for a booster, and soon, lest I forget again. After calling the immunization clinic inside the base clinic (confused yet?), I was told to bring him in yesterday afternoon. I told The Man he had to go this time because I had this feeling it wasn't going to go smooth.

The Boy and I arrive and it's pretty busy. I knew The Man was on his way and would arrive soon. To my surprise the young (VERY young) corpsman went ahead and got it all set up and got the shot. I said to myself let's get this over with. The Boy saw that needle and remembered the last visit and declared there was no way on this God's green Earth he was going to go willingly.

I was sitting in a computer chair with my legs wrapped around his and bear hugging him with his arm exposed. The Boy went BEAST on me. The corpsman backed up a few steps and looked very alarmed. I told him to do it and get it over with. Nope. That boy of mine went ten times past ballistic. Next thing I know The Man is there and trying to talk to and soothe the kid. The corpsman told me to put him on the now available table.

Now, I feel my husband is a wonderful father. He truly is. He wanted to sit and talk with The Boy about the whole process. I grabbed my son, basically threw him on the table and laid over his torso and said DO IT ALREADY. There was no amount of talking going to convince him that a shot was a good idea. The nurse leaned against the bottom of his legs. The Man held down his hips and I took the arms and torso.

Blink. It was done. I let him up and gave him over to Dad so I could get my shot record and whatnot from the corpsman.

I promise you. That guy was so shook up his hands were shaking. The Boy was so beastly and his voice reached ear piercing decibels. I tried to assure this young man that I had three kids and this was nothing new. I also told him not to let the wild ones mess with him like that. I left and it took all I had not to laugh where he could hear me.


Dude, you are in the wrong field for sure.

I thought for a second there we were going to have to call the Marines in for help.

You know what, though? We're done with shots for a long time. Whew. Next time that kid might end being able to body slam someone.

Now I'm off to finish packing so we can head to South Carolina. I'm not ready for that long drive, but I'm ready to see my people. We'll head back to The Edge on Sunday.

Have a good weekend, Internets. Be safe.


Pikes Pickles said...

Oh heck. I really want to laugh but I would almost feel guilty as I can imagine ....Actually I can remember - My Caroline can be a bit of a beast herself.

Have a wonderful weekend. You deserve it.

Kristi said...

I would have done exactly the same thing. Us mothers have to be tough sometimes and force kids to do the "not so fun" things in life. Way to go mom! That man learned a good lesson today about shots and kids. I'm sure it made a lasting impression...after his hands stopped shaking of course.

Krys72599 said...

I could hear it, scream by beastly scream! You're a great writer, Miss Hope, and even a better mom! The Boy had better remember he can't win, no matter how much he struggles!
Have fun at home, and enjoy your time with mama and the rest of ! your people!

C said...

As soon as RR sees the nurse at the Immunization Clinic, she gets this cornered animal look and starts trying to get out of there. Luckily, no more shots until she turns 4.

C said...

Oh, and.. I'm kind of surprised that guy hadn't had a kid react like that before. Was he new?

Michelle said...

I can't help but laugh...somehow our boys got cross-related? Kyle is almost 8 and it doesn't get any better with a shot...I am not looking forward to his flu shot.

However...the Dentist was a breeze this time:)

Oh...and you were wasn't the time to would be talking and talking and talking....4-evah! Bless Fred's was in the right place.

Vitt broke that young man in real quick!

andria said...

When my seven year old was three he threw a huge hellacious fit and actually kicked the pseudo nurses aide, whatever her title was, shot-giver lady and she actually had the gall to suggest to me after it was over that he get psychological help because he obviously had huge mental problems. WTF?

Show me any kid who is docile, esp. at that age, at a needle coming at them and I believe THAT kid has the mental issues.

Oh and pseudo nurse was mumbling all about suing me for "allowing that to happen". Yeah, get a new job lady. Which apparently she did because I haven't seen her since.

Poor V. I wish I could buy him a Thomas train because that's what we did after all the first born's shots.

Denise said...

Ha! You have now done your civic duty; that young guy will be better prepared next time he gets a freaked-out patient. See? Someone has to blaze the trail!

Anonymous said...

Hoping you're having a fabu time in SC! I needed that good giggle tonight. I haven't had the issue with my own little HRH but I DO VERY WELL remember my brother being that same beast and them having to strap him to a papoose board because no one could hold him down long enough to "do it and get it over with" - MY POOR MOTHER!!!!

Monogram Queen said...

Godspeed and SC soil is smiling happily waiting on your entry!

I can relate, she does okay w/ shots but when we were at the hospital when she was attacked by the dog, there was no reasoning and couldn't do much soothing, it was just "Do what you have to do - QUCKLY!"

cat said...

Oh have a great time seeing family. I always so look forward to those visits.

I laughed so hard at this story, I can remember doing the same thing to my daughter. She would get so strong on me that I could hardly control her, but in the end I always won and the part about the "man" trying to talk with the boy and you pretty much body slamed him down to the table, well Hope we wish we would do that and tell them to get it over with. That is Priceless, I tell you it is!

Jill AKA busymom said...

Hate to tell ya Ms Hope...but my 17 year old still throws fits when she has to get

It got to the point that when we signed into the immunization clinic at Tripler the head nurse started calling in back up!

Hope it gets better!