Friday, March 20, 2009

A "Thank you,but I'll pass" situation

I debated on blogging about this and then figured with all the seriousness going on around The Edge....this might lighten things up a bit.

There are things in life you never want to do. You know the type of things that you can die having never done and be perfectly okay about it?

We had one of those moments yesterday.

You never EVER want to give The Boy a suppository.

Poor soul has been having him some pooping issues this week. I'm thinking I don't need to put cheese on the grocery list this go round and see if that helps out a little bit.

I called The Man at work yesterday and asked him to swing by the drugstore and grab some suppositories as our son needed some help. I told him this on the phone as I watched my child almost burst a blood vessel on the potty. I had visions of a 4 year old having a stroke from all the straining he was doing.

Paige got me a hospital glove (we...uh...have a few laying around here....) and we proceeded to tell The Boy what was going to happen.

I am so glad my son does not know profane words.

Well, talking it over first wasn't working. I'm all about action. Get it over and done with. Apologize later.

Lawd.

Let's just say that it took four tries, 3 gloves, and a lot of sweat.

The Man had sweat on his brow and a scratch down his arm. I was wearing elastic waist work out pants and they were pulled halfway to my knees. We were both breathing hard and trying to talk over the enraged screams of one highly pissed 4 year old.

Did I mention I'm glad my son does not know any profane words?

I looked at The Man and said, "Yeah, this is one part of parenting they don't tell you about."

You bring home that sweet baby as a new parent and you see sweetness and goodness and bottles. Uh huh. If only we could see into the future and see the WWF smackdown with a constipated pre-schooler.

We did have success. (Did you doubt us?)

I made the comment later: "Yeah, good thing we got that baby in therapy....this just tacked on another year or two."

I will also not fear for my child's safety should he ever end up in jail. I have never in my life seen a set of butt cheeks so tight.

We may have a lot of things going on right now overall at The Edge, but reality and life still happens. It's keeps things in perspective.

14 comments:

Krys72599 said...

I hate to chuckle at the Boy's expense, but thanks for that! I have to update my blog later today with yesterday's visit to the ER - just to pique your curiosity...

USS Retired said...

Lord, Miss Hope, I see you were denied your child-rearing manual after delivery same as I was. You do know that one day he's going to look back through this living journal of yours and totally go off "the edge," right?

I have to count myself lucky in the suppository department! Miss Ma'am has to have supps for her migraines. We, too, went through the explaining what was going to happen and she was scared but cooperative, although it still takes BOTH myself & JD to distribute said medication as she needs an arm or leg to grab on to during the process.

So NOW (oh Lordy - you'll love this one) she's gotten so comfortable with it that on an occasion when she experienced some obviously butt-burning diarrhea she says to me, "mommy, can you put one of those things in my butt?" LMBO!! (I keep them refrigerated so they're nice and cold and easier for me to work with in getting the job done and over with) -- so I guess she was after that cooling affect.

Neighbor Debbie said...

Girl you have made my day. I do feel for you as I too have had to do the booty meds. at our house to from time to time. Poor Vitt I can see him now giving you a run for you money. Thanks for the laugh

Lishak said...

What a funny post. My mom did warn me that when I have kids that may happen. I had constipation when I was a baby and screamed my head off. My parents had to take a little spoon to my butt since they didn't have money for meds. lol
Glad it's over for you, though. It had to be tough!

Denise said...

I'm oh-so-happy that you decided in favor of blogging this. Best laugh I've had all day. And I'm relieved to know that he's well-prepared for future incarceration, rofl!

Stefany said...

oh my heck . I totally needed to read that post. THANK YOU. I am so sorry to laugh at "the boy's" expense. I do hope everything came out okay. bad pun

Michelle said...

OMG with everything going on with me (you know the day I had) this is the best laugh I've had in a long time...thanks to the boy for the laugh!

I've also been here (with my boy) and it isn't fun! Payback on this post will not be fun for you:)

Always good to have the tight buttocks..hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

C said...

Oh dear. You crack me up.

Sugar said...

Well, a parent's gotta do what a parent's gotta do, right? Poor boy. I remember when I was his age I had the EXACT same thing happen to me, so I can relate to his discomfort. Although I don't remember struggling with my parents about it... hmmm maybe I did block some of that out. lol But don't worry, he'll be just fine.

Shedrow Queen said...

Laughing, but feeling bad for laughing on account of Boy's trauma. We had to do that one time too, luckily my kid was about 2 and 1/2 so it wasn't so bad. And I did it while he was asleep. hope it all works out and things start to "flow a little easier" around your place!

AndreaLeigh said...

oh my. this made me laugh:

I will also not fear for my child's safety should he ever end up in jail. I have never in my life seen a set of butt cheeks so tight.

i moved my blog to www.mychihuahuabitesblog.com

Just To Praise Him... said...

Yeah,that was pretty funny... Glad it was you and not me!! Thanks for commenting on my posts and thanks for stoppinig by to check it out. Glad everything is better with your hubby and yes, please stop by our church anytime when you are in the neighborhood. No doubt you will have a good time!! I'll have to post more as I get them... Especially the song Home Sweet Home Alabama that we turned into a Crhistian song. It is kickin' is all I can say!!

Love
Nicole

Monogram Queen said...

Oh dear, did you REALLY have to go THERE (jail!). I about peed my pants Hope!

Jill AKA busymom said...

LOL ROFL...OMG Hope you are too funny....but laughter is the best medicine. I have had to do this with Britt on several occassions...not pretty I'll tell ya!