Thursday, March 19, 2009

Alot going on

Excitement never stops around The Edge.

I had a few ideas for blog posts lined up for this week when the Navy decided to spring another one on us....or did we spring one on them? Still not clear on that one.

A detailer is a person over in Tennessee that our active duty calls to help them with getting orders for their next duty station. At least that's how I understand it. My husband called his detailer to discuss his retirement back in January and he was given the choice of November of this year to August of next year (2010). We talked about it and chose August of next year. Reason being, the kids could finish another full year of school and we wouldn't be rushed to plan a retirement ceremony and take care of all the paperwork that is involved with leaving the military.

Tuesday, The Man found out his retirement request had been denied. That happens from time to time. This was the last time. Some times there are reasons that half way make sense and other times you wonder if the detailers took their work to the local bar and tried to figure out things over a bunch of drinks.

The Man had finally reached his limit. We decided that maybe November of this year wouldn't be so bad after all.

Then the panic set in. That's not far away at all. In fact, we basically have six months to get our stuff straight and call it good.

We were up until 1 a.m. Tuesday night writing The Man's resume so he could attend a job fair in Jacksonville the next day. Time to find a job!

We are both floundering and not really sure of our footing at this time. I am slightly stressed over what to do with my children. Do I start them in school here, only to go for 4-8 weeks before taking them out and moving them to another school? Oh, the thoughts that race through your mind.

More thinking about it tells me that the girls will be fine doing that. Paige seems to think it'll be a type of torture and as much as she loves her school and the people there, she doesn't know if she can handle that stress. She may just have to. Makenna is my " go with the flow" kid. If we do that fine. If I tell her to go pack up this minute? Well, that's fine, too.

The Boy. That's my issue and heartfelt concern. I spoke with Rose yesterday at his session and told her what was going on and my concerns. She smiled and assured me that going to school for a few weeks, then moving would not hurt him. She said as an ADHD kid, he needs the structure of the classroom more than he doesn't. That means I go register him next week for 5K at his sister's school and start him on time. In a year? This will only be a memory to him....and probably vague at that. Military kids do this every day. Shoot, there's been 2 or 3 kids out of The Boy's class that have done that this year. It happens. I just didn't want it to happen to my kids.

I find myself following my husband around asking what he thinks about this part of the retirement ceremony....about putting in his resume for this company.....basically bugging the crap out of him. He wants no part of me doing that. He needs time to gather his thoughts and formulate his next plan of action. While I am full speed ahead wanting to get as much done as possible, I have not let him have a chance to grieve. He has to grieve. So, I stand on the sidelines tapping my foot and constantly checking my watch, sighing impatiently every 30 seconds.

I have yet to allow my own self to grieve. I love this town and the people who are in it. I will miss it with every fiber of my being. I can't stop and think about that quite yet because my "moment" might take longer than the time I have allotted for such a thing. Even now I'm moving on to something else because my heart started aching.

When the poop hit the fan on Tuesday, I squinted at The Man and told him: "One thing is for with you has been anything but dull." I have to say again, I'm glad I didn't get into this military lifestyle at a younger age. I don't know if I would have ended up with nerves of steel or a nervous breakdown.

Now I have to figure out how to be it all. The positive smiling face for my kids as we start yet another adventure in our lives. The pom-pom shaking cheerleader who rallies behind The Man- telling him he can do anything, be anything. Right now, I don't know if I'm capable. But, I will do it and I will do it with style and grace.

So, there you have it. Instead of 15 months until retirement, we have 8 months. Six months really, if you count him going out on terminal leave.


And that's how we roll at The Edge. Full speed with goggles and hollering the whole way.


Krys72599 said...

Wow! Go incommunicado for a day or two and look what happens! While I feel that I do worse with change as I get older, I guess it's inherent in your situation: military personnel run that risk all the time, moving, getting reassigned, moving again... I have an uncle who was in the Air Force and he was constantly on the move - a year here, 8 months there, and on and on... I never heard anyone complain and they have 3 kids, too. You just do it and move on... With you and the Man as parents, I know your family will do just fine! And somewhere there's someone not knowing yet what awesome neighbors are on their way...
If you ever want to relocate to NJ, just let me know...

Bonita said...

I know its a lot for you right now, plus with compass coming up your mind just might explode. But if you remember every compass class when it comes to crunch time you stress but it all works out and your happy with the out come.
This is kind of the samething, your gonna be a little stressed out about it but it will always work out.
I can understand Paige 100% about leaving a school. esspacilly a little after it starts, but trust me she will get over it.
I think after all the dust has settled you and ur hubby will be able to figure out what to do and be happy with your dision.
Remember god makes things happen for a reason, although we may not know what it is, it is always a good reason and benifits you.
If your still not ready for what is about to happen, just pray.
You got great friends here to help you out too, so with them and god on yourside this just might turn into a cake walk for you.

Michelle said...

a little worried about Paige but on the selfish end...whoo-hoo...I can't wait. An empty part of my life will once be filled again...I've missed my dear best friend sooo much. Phone and computers just haven't been enought to fill some of the voids. Life hasn't been the same since you all have been gone. Now we will be able to re-connect with each other and our kids any maybe even get on one anothers nerves...just saying, It'll be wonderful...I have so many plans and can't wait to help with the move.

I'm sure Fred will adjust and everyone will be very happy back HOME...I know it will take time.. this is a very BIG change in his life!

As far as your friends there...I'm sorry for them (I've been there) and I just don't know what they will do without you...really! You and your family fill peoples hearts in ways I can't begin to understand and explain. I'm sure you will always connect with them just as you always maintain a relationship with those that mean so much to you.

Not rubbing it in but I have been wiggling since you told me all of this...hince the problems I'm having right now:)

Have fun and spoil your friends and yourself with every free minute you have left in Georgia!!!!

The family said...

okay I totally totally feel ya. We have had a very similar experience. Jasons last week of working with the Navy is here and almost gone. We had to decide to put the retirement ceremony on hold until we hear a definitive on a job. This breaks my heart to have to do. I found out that technically I have up until July to do it. Whew. Job leads are very far and few between - Have Fred join linked in. That is how Jason has gotten most of his leads. (He has 3 in the works)
I REALLY feel for you with the concerns for the kids that has got to be the hardest part.(Our kids are pretty excited about moving so we have said we will go anywhere)
Oh - please do keep us posted. Maybe we will end up neighbors?
I heard Northrup Grummon out here is hiring like crazy.

Monogram Queen said...

I sincerely vote for nerves of steel Hope!
Wow this is alot of changes but 1) the kiddos will be fine 2) you are smart enough to realize the impact of this on the Man and will give him space and 3) well, it will be fine! Wishing y'all the best!

Karen said...

Hope-- I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now. Retirement scares the crap outta me and well, it's not even for like 12!! (((HUGS))) Don't worry too much, soon, this is will all be a memory.

Neighbor Debbie said...

Well well sis, just last week you were fussin about me moving 15 miles north. Now you have to go and out do me and move off. I can only imagine what ur going through. We dont retire for another 2 years, so this is something you can teach ME. Ya know I have ur back with what eva u need just call. It will take me about 20 min. go get there.

Anonymous said...

BREATHE!!!!! Stop - SIT - Breathe! As a retiree, I know exactly what you're going through (well, except that ours got extended 60 days with no chance for terminal, rather than getting bumped up to earlier) -- so I understand the turmoil you're experiencing with the ALL OF A SUDDEN overwhelming change of plan! You'll do it with the style and grace; of this I have no doubt. Call Me if you need to. I always have the cell handy; and we DEFINITELY have to get together and SOON. I barely get a chance to really know you and OFF YOU GO (another joy of the military I eventually came to grips with). Now get off this computer, get a tall glass of sweet ice-tea and SIT with no paperwork, books, agendas, planners, etc. Have yourself a little bit of what I always called "Me 'n God Time." :)

Jill AKA busymom said... can do this....because well my friend you HAVE to LOL. I feel you...I am not looking forward to doing the transition between active and retirement:)