Thursday, April 19, 2007

I Gotta Do What?

Well, it appears I'm going to prom- Navy Style. It is time for the Submarine Ball in our United States Navy. Where you must find that formal gown with all matching accessories. Where you must panic at the last minute and beg your stylist to perform hair miracles on your behalf. Where eyebrows are perfectly shaped and arched for pictures.

I'll be honest. Attending this function has never been top on my list of priorities. When attending the Compass class a few months ago, it was highly suggested that we attend when the time came. I snorted and said....not hardly. When an older (than me) Navy Wife asked why not, this was my reply:

I have attended two proms in my life. I've been a bridesmaid formally twice and informally twice. I've bought enough taffeta and chiffon to last me a lifetime. Floor length gowns are for the young...which I no longer am. No, thank you.

I wasn't anticipating Mrs. J. (the older wife) making me her life's mission. She was determined to see me go and, by golly, she's done it! She called me one night and we were perusing the internets together looking at gowns. I just refused to pay a huge amount. ~stomped my foot refused~ Lo and behold, I came across a dress that I though MIGHT would work on JCPenney. Get this. It was on sale for $29.99. I kid you not. So I ordered it. I was really thinking it would suck and I would have my excuse not to attend this shin dig. ~sigh~ It works. Dangit.

The Saturday before Easter found Paige and I out shopping for her some shoes. I kind of poked around the really nice dressy ones a little bit. Paige took it upon herself to pick out the perfect shoes to match this lovely dress. Can I say the shoes I finally got cost almost as much as the stupid dress? How crazy is that?? She also told me...."You're not taking that hockin' big red purse in with you. You need a clutch." Humph. I KNEW that. I was GOING to get a clutch. No worries. She picked that out, too. It matches the shoes. La-ti-da.

This is going to embarrass my child, but I shall mention it anyway. I knew in order to really pull this dress off, I needed me some firmer drawers. What are those you ask? Well, does it help to say girdle-like underwear? Or panties that hold in a tad to shape, define, and smooth your shape? Yeah, Southerners call 'em firmer drawers. And, boy, did I find some good ones.

So, last night was the trial run. I tried on the entire outfit to "get a feel" for it. Make sure all parts were smooth and firm. My upstairs neighbor (whom I've adopted as my other daughter) came down to give her opinion. It seems I'm ready for show-time.


This means I gotta shave my legs. Find some of that tanning/glow lotion so as not to blind people with the whiteness of my legs since pantyhose are not an option. We will be near a beach. I might feel the need to walk along the shore with my hubby. Pantyhose will not work or be romantic.

Oh, heavens, did I mention my hubby? Oh, yeah. He's going to wear his dress blues and I might seriously have to admire how he looks in it. Does funny things to me when he gets all uniformed up like that. And can you imagine? There's going to be a ball room of around 750 people..half in dress uniform?? Girls out there? I know ya'll jealous.

Heck, yeah, I'm going to have the camera with me. Do I look stupid?

So, the hubby and I shall leave the younger ones in the care of their sister this Saturday night and we shall go to the ball. Go to the ball. Makes me laugh to say it. Like my name should have an -ella- on the end of it.

One question, though. Those purse-clutchy thingys? Why are they so freaking small? How am I supposed to fit a compact, two lipsticks*, a cell phone, AND a camera in there? It's simply not possible!!!!

*You know it's right crazy how we women operate. I've decided to do prominent eyes for my makeup. Therefore, fashion and etiquette dictates that the lipstick must be subtle or nude. So, I went to Merle Norman the other day. Did you know it takes one pencil- with lip liner on one end and lip color on the other end-, AND lip gloss to top it to achieve NUDE lips. How crazy is that? How crazy is it that I bought BOTH of them??


Hope's Hubby said...

OK. I have to let my thoughts be known on this. My wife is absolutely the most beautiful woman in the world to me. But, I have to say, that this dress makes her a knock-out!! I know I played it cool last night, but, darlin', you really do look good in that dress. Just wanted you to know.

Domestic Diva said...

Oh, Hope. No worries. You're going to have a great time. I've been to many-a sub ball in my day. Trust me - you'll have fun! Enjoy strutting your stuff in all your royal hottness!! :)

Miss Hope said...

Her Royal Hotness? I do believe I like that title.

Melanie said...

Hope-ella, I just know you're going to have a fabulous time! I myself am going stag to the ball, so I had to buy a slimmer camera to fit in my clutch :)