Monday, April 23, 2007

Submarine Ball 2007

My my my. The Navy goes all out when they give a shin dig. Let me say that I am officially impressed with what they pulled off this past Saturday night for our men and women in uniform.

I will now tell you that this formal occasion took place on Jekell Island, Georgia. (I really didn't mention it before because I didn't want any of you crazies out there to call a bomb threat in and piss me off on my night out. I knew you'd understand) This was my first time going to J.I. and I was really looking forward to it. The family and I have visited St. Simon's Island next door, but haven't taken the time to visit Jekell. Did you know that John F. Kennedy Jr. and Caroline got married on Jekell? I can see why. It's very quaint and quiet.

I'm going to include a link that shows where we were so you can get an idea of just how cool this was.

Just do a quick click on it, would you? We started with social hour in the Exhibition Hall and Lobby. Then when supper came along, we headed into the Hartley Auditorium. After supper, everyone walked the lovely covered walkway to Atlantic Hall for after dinner dancing.

See what I mean? It was swank. And, oh, the dresses. The men were all in their dress blues. I've never seen so many medals in one place! They stood tall and proud. It didn't matter if they were in their "cracker jack's" or uniform sport coats or even uniform tuxedos. The women? Went alllll out for it. I saw so many different styles of dresses. Some were....uh....unique. Others were stunning. Some were simple. And there was the extremely ornate. There were intricate hair styles that I know took hours to accomplish.

My only complaint? MY SHOES! Oh, sweet merciful heavens. They were perfect and looked fantastic, but they KILLED ME. Two hours of standing during social hour was torture of the highest form. I even started walking on my tip toes in order to get relief and my calves said.....I don't THINK so, Sistah. When we were finally through with the pomp and circumstance and allowed to sit down for the meal, those bad boys came off. I told Fred I was sorry if I embarrassed him but there was no way in Hades I was going to put them back on. He's smooth. He laughed and didn't say a word. Even held them for me when I stopped by the ladies room on our way to dance. Pu-leeze. I was only doing what over half those women wanted to do. That's just me. Hold your head up high. Meet people in the eye when you walk past and it will throw them off so they don't look down and see bare feet with a formal gown. Easy.

My husband could not fast dance due to his knee injury, but I did get a slow one in. Can I just say I love being 5'6" and Fred being 6 feet tall? I love a tall man and am so glad he turned out a decent 6 inches taller than me. Really, though? It was so much fun to sit and chat with people and watch how the drunks didn't matter. We hung out with our neighbors for the first time and truly enjoyed it.

I would like to share some things I learned and/or observed while going to this Ball. Some might not be so nice, but it's just me and you. I can tell the internets these things, right? Good. Glad we're square on it.

Things I learned/observed at the Sub Ball 2007:

  • Navy boys, for the most part, like their women healthy. Some? Really healthy. God bless them because those girls had some gorgeous gowns and looked like princesses.
  • Girlfriend? Just because you are a size 0? Does NOT mean you are pretty. I know what you think. But, I know what I'm seeing.
  • Just because a man has high rank and is feared by others? Does not automatically give him grace and rhythm on the dance floor. Dude...seriously. Your credibility just went out of the window.
  • No matter what age you are? Everyone knows the words to the song "Footloose". And will dance to it.
  • Girlfriend smoking the huge hocking cigar outside? You might be Latina and have a killer booty in that dress...but a cigar? Just not attractive, sweetheart.

Like I said...just a few things to give you a glimpse into my evening. We really had a wonderful time and didn't get home until after midnight!!!! Paige survived her first major babysitting gig. I'm very proud of her. Although, she did call when we were getting ready to take a formal picture and I had to explain how to cook fish sticks and how many before we had our turn. Fred called and checked a few times. Our neighbor, my partner in crime, Jaime also came by for a quick visit to make sure things were smooth. Even Nana gave a quick call from South Carolina. She has magical powers. If there was trouble brewing? She could have nipped it right in the bud. Those kids love their Nana.

At 10:30 p.m. Paige sent a text and asked when we were coming home. Fred replied in about and hour or so. This is the text we received back from her:

Mmmkay. Take ur time & have fun. The firemen r almost done n i think they found makenna. Lol. j/k!

Yeah, she's a hoot.

A friend of mine is taking photography classes and had her very nice camera with her. We took some pictures outside with the palm trees and ocean behind us. When she sends them to me, I'll be sure to post one so you can see just how awesome we looked!

And tell me what you think of this? I went to the bathroom before we left to go home and the gal in the next stall? Her shoes caught my eye. Not because they were cute. Well, they were cute and gold and strappy. But, because her shoes were FACING the toilet. This perplexed me. Alot. So, when I came out and Fred was standing there waiting on me...I told him we had to stay there for a few minutes because I had to see this chick. He will you know it's her? ~Men~ Because of the shoes, Man! So we waited. And waited. Chatted with a former boat mate of his who, in his drunken state, informed me that my husband "is the poop!" It did not sway my attention from that bathroom door. She finally came out! And she really did look like a she. No gay-dar went off. Strange. I'm glad I waited because that would have haunted me for a while. You would have done the same thing, right? Thought so.

Now I'm heading to the post office. I'm going to mail my shoes to China because they would be perfect for torture.


Coty said...

I'm so glad y'all had a good time. Yes, you see some VerY interesting things at sub ball every year. Last year, it was Tristan trying to pick me up and spin me around, only to drop me on the floor, and land on top of me! I think the whole crowd was laughing, but we were all too drunk to care.

Secondly, there WAS a transvestite there last year. Maybe "gold shoes" was the same person!

Thirdly...I'm calling dibs on Paige's babysitting next year. I will be able to get d-runk! Therefore, I need someone to care for my child whilst I am gettin' my drink on. :)

Fourthly(and sorry to burst your bubble), JFK Jr. did NOT marry on Jekyll Island. He married on Cumberland Island. If you think about it, it makes sense. It's a TON more private.

Miss Hope said...

Dang your right, Coty. Sorry to mislead everyone. Don't know how I got my islands mixed up. Well, considering how many there are down could look at it as an honest mistake?

Cumberland, huh? Might have to go see.