Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Drugs Talking Smack...

I really don't feel like anything interesting has been happening in my life lately. But, it could be the drugs talking.

I went to my lovely doctor the other week for the back check up. Come to think of it, I don't even think we even addressed my back as we were too busy chatting when I got in there. Sometimes it might not be a good thing to be on a first name basis with your doctor. So after we inquired about each other's kids I told K. this: Girl, I have acquired this awful thing called PMS. ~she listens attentively~ I'm serious! It makes me a quivering hysterical mass in the middle of the floor and that is so NOT my style. ~She smiles and writes a script.~ Then I go on to tell her that if I don't get some of this weight off, I'm going to die a slow horrible death and it will be on her conscience because, dude, we gotta do something about this. ~She writes another script.~ When I left her office, I had...no kidding....6 prescriptions. Count them! SIX. My face burned in shame because I seriously looked like a drug addict of the highest order. When I got to my vehicle, I noticed that there were 3 I wouldn't have to get filled because they were new ones of what I already had (ie...inhaler...naprosyn...fever blister knock out stuff).

My new favorite things in the world? Flonase. Killed that nasal drip I didn't know I had in 2 days flat and cut that cough out, Man! I heart Flonase.

Another new favorite thing? Lexapro. I am so smooth now. Instead of meeting Paige nose to nose...toe to toe...I can just simply look at her and calmly state what needs to be said. This really tends to tick her off because now she's lost her sparring partner and I'm back to being the parent. ahhhhhhhhhhh.....and it feels so good, people!

Last, but not least. Prescription diet pills!!!! Can we say HELLO! With eyes wide open? With no desire to eat? Ever again? And let me tell you, this stuff is working because I forgot to take one today and thought I would starve to death. I had to eat or die! And don't tell me it's a mind thing. Okay? I know what's up there and what ain't. So there.

So I've been excitingly smooth. I'm not groggy or foggy. I'm wide open and able to handle anything. Anything I tell you!!

Yeah, it's gotta be the drugs talking.

2 comments:

Crazy Me said...

I'll take some of the diet pills and the calming pills. Can you Fed Ex them to me? LOL!

Miss Hope said...

Got some on the way, Sistah! LOL