Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Duct Tape

Not a girly thing to write about, is it?

Duct tape is an interesting invention for sure. The many uses you employ with this are outstanding for sure.

scenario: We (we being the family) are sitting on the huge front porch my parents decided to have built when they got more than 3 granchildren. Adults are rocking in the big rocking chairs courtesy of Cracker Barrel and the kiddies are puttering around on little ride toys. The men are smoking one of their allotted cigars. I believe they smoke around 3 apiece per year. Somehow the subject of duct tape comes up and my husband a superior voice.... says that duct tape has been tested at the depths of the ocean. My dad looks at him...blows out a puff of smoke and replies, "Oh yeah? And what depth would that be?". My husband then does that smug smile and says that he isn't allowed to say...classified information, you know. Now imagine my eye rolling at this point. Just what I need to know. The sub springs a leak and they got duct tape. Great. Hear that Russia? The secret is duct tape.

In my first marriage I did not allow duct tape in my house. My ex had this love affair with the stuff and if he had his way, we would have never been able to let Jeff Foxworthy come visit. Not that he ever would anyway, but I like to be prepared. I can just see him on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour ..."You might be a redneck or live at Hope's house if....."

Now? I have my own love affair with the stuff. I had to find out on my own just how good it is. My son is a genius at getting into stuff and I discovered that a piece on the fridge door would keep him out. Until he learned to peel it off. Then I walked in the other day and my kitchen looked like someone on crack had gotten hold of a roll of the stuff. It was holding my dishwasher closed. My cabinets. My fridge again. The oven door. I calmly asked Paige what was the deal and she replied that she was tired of getting him out of those places and desperate times call for desperate measures. I didn't argue with her. I even contemplated the idea of using it on the toilet. Then I reconsidered because when you gotta gotta go. No time to de-duct tape at all. Especially with the viruses going on around here.

So I may not know at what depths duct tape will hold a submarine together, but I do know that I can get a piece of sanity back for a few minutes...until I need to get into an appliance.

You might be a redneck or you live at Hope's house........


Crazy Me said...

I am not a good duct tape user. I always get the pieces stuck together and the sticky gunk on my hands. I have issues! LOL!!

Guitar Woman said...

It's rather amusing trying to picture your hubby joking with your Dad about military secrets (grin.) And Paige is just TOO funny! Girlfriend had ENOUGH, huh? Gotta give her credit for being resourceful! That will take her far in life.