Thursday, November 17, 2005

Toddlers, Tampons, and Toilets

Yeah, you read that one right. And believe me, the three of those don't mix.

He got away from me for two minutes!! Only two minutes!!! Then I hear a frantic "MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA" I go running to the bathroom to find my toilet going into overflow stage like Niagara Falls with my son standing in the midst with a look of terror on his face. I frantically pull the lid off and pull up the ball thingy to stop this madness. I turn for the plunger. WHERE IS THE PLUNGER????? I knew he had gotten it the night before and was riding it like a stick horse before Paige caught him and got completely grossed out by the thought of it and took it away. (stick horse..file away for Christmas idea) I stopped the water, set him out of the bathroom and started tearing the house apart looking for that blasted plunger. It had disappeared. Completely. I almost called Paige at school to ask her where it was.

A few hours pass and Paige comes home. I tell her of our problem. She immediately starts looking for the plunger. I tell you, it's gone. We even searched the outside trash can even though we both knew we wouldn't have put it there. Finally, we went to town to get one and some groceries. We get home and I start plunging (is that a word?) Guess what started coming back up? TAMPONS. I kid you not. Lots and lots of tampons. I do believe that boy emptied the whole box of SUPER SIZED in the toilet and proceeded to flush. Well, at least between 5-10 of them. I finally got tired of plunging (there's that word again) and Paige said she would take over while I started supper. I started sweating thinking I was going to have to call a plumber and how mortified we (me and Paige) were going to be about the...shhhhh..tampons. That word just embarrasses the crap out of Paige.

Well, my girl stepped up the plate and after about 15 minutes, she had that bad boy flushing like a champ. She calls excitedly from the bathroom..."Hey Mom! Come check it out!" She's grinning and holding that plunger like an Olympic torch...so proud was my baby girl. I watched the toilet flush and looked at her and said..."Yeah, well, I loosened it up for you."

I, of course, went back and totally patted her on the back and even made her give me a high five...which made her roll her eyes. So, I am officially giving Paige complete credit for unstopping our commode that was clogged with tampons. Might even put it in the local paper to show my gratitude.

Things to ponder now:
  • Find a way to lock that door and keep the boy out.
  • Make Paige wonder if I really would have called the school to ask her where the plunger was.
  • Keep making her believe I almost did (which is true)
  • Put the tampons wayyyy out of reach.
  • Put the story in the baby book for his kids to read one day and hope that they try it too.
  • Pray that my husband gets to experience this glorious pleasure of cleaning up after our son...when I am not around.

1 comment:

Pro-Divorce said...

Ok, Hope, I'll jump on the grenade and take one for the team by commenting on your toilet story. On the one hand, I enjoyed it. On the other hand, well, I've got a 23 month old little boy who is absolutely captivated by the toilet. Thank God, at least for the time being, that he hasn't figured out how cool it is to put stuff in there. I'm sure that's in the very near future however.

Anyway, you're right, make a mental note to put tampons wayyyyy out of reach.