A Light Bright Moment

Explaining "light bright" moment. It's just my sarcastic way of saying this is a person whose intellect I seriously question.

I'm sure everyone knows about toy cars. Especially the ones you can push over and over and when you let it go? ...It ZOOMS over the floor until it winds down or hits the wall? Vitt got a couple of those for Christmas. Has even learned how to make it go. Such a smart baby he is. We all like Vitt's toys. He's got some neat ones and after having two girls, it's fun to see all the "man stuff".

Makenna was on the floor the other evening while I was cooking supper. Paige was reading and Vitt was probably off into something. I hear a mild scream. I say mild because it wasn't blood curdling indicating either a show of blood or something spilled. I look and guess what?

Makenna had Vitt's car and was pushing it to wind it up. Then what did she do? Put it up to her forehead. With her hair. Oh yeah, it wasn't pretty. It's white blonde and all one length. I didn't panic though. I simply walked over and got it from her. THEN I got worried. I managed to unwind maybe 3/4 of it with her whining and telling me to "CUT IT! CUT IT!" Finally she jerked her head back...leaving quite a few strands wrapped around the wheels.

This kid made principal's honor roll. She is an awesome reader.

She so had a Light Bright Moment. I worry about her.

Who Did It?

I'm not joking. I want to know who had the bright idea to make single parents* work a job and try to get three people of various ages to cooperate in the morning time. Because it just isn't possible, people. Okay, it is possible. But not without a cup of coffee and a nerve pill.

I had to start early this morning. I am working for a charter bus company and travel agency. Very interesting. Fun. Really liking it. Wasn't liking it so much this morning when we had to start that early to get a busload of teenagers off on a ski trip. I had to leave by 6:30 a.m. and decided to take Makenna to my mother's before I left. Paige kept Vitt while she dressed. Makenna and I were walking out to the van and when she opened the door and looked she said.....

"Mama....you must've read the clock wrong. It's still dark out here!!!"

I assured her that I hadn't and that the sun would be out in less than 15 minutes. She still didn't believe me and was secretly hoping I would let her go back in the house and get in that warm bed. No dice, sister.

It was a fast working day, but I think I'm going to enjoy doing it. Especially when I get to hitchhike a little trip on a luxury charter bus. I even got to play with the microphone. Felt like a tour director for a minute there. I even asked the bus driver if we could do some karaoke. He was a cool guy and told me to have at it.

We are all trying to adjust. The kids aren't too thrilled, but they don't have to worry about building a house some day. Mama does.

I just hope there aren't too many day where Makenna thinks I can't read the clock.

*so my husband doesn't get pissed. I am NOT a single parent as in not married. I am a single parent in the aspect that I am raising these children on my own. I am the second wife in the harem. The Navy is the first.

A Typical Morning in My Life......

Cast of characters:
Me
Paige
Makenna
Vitt (silent but cute part)

We open with the minutes flying by. We need to get on the road to school so the threat of tardies isn't a reality.

Me: Makenna, would you please go look in the clean clothes and get me a pair of jogging pants for Vitt? Hurry, we gotta go!

Makenna slowly walks to the laundry room. She forgets what she went for by the time she has walked 15 feet. She brings back a washcloth. I'm sitting on the floor changing Vitt's diaper and waiting on her.

Makenna: Here you go, Mama.

Paige: Makenna, you idiot. Mama said PANTS. You are so slow and lazy. You better hope you grow up and marry a rich man.

Makenna: I'm gonna be a supermodel, Sissy. I'm going to be rich.

Paige: *snorts* Little do you know. Supermodels don't make alot of money.

I break in at this point to mutter to Paige: Uh, yeah, they do, Paige. They make loads of cash to stand there.

Makenna: See there! I will be rich and when I am, I'm going to buy Mama a house!

Paige: No, you're not! I am!!! I'm going to buy Mama a house because I'm going to be a doctor AND a lawyer!!!!

Makenna: You can buy the furniture. I'm going to be richer so I'm gonna buy Mama a house.

Paige: Nu uh. I'm buying the house!

Makenna: Uh huh, I will too buy the house!!

Paige: I know you didn't just uh huh my nu uh.

Makenna: Oh yes I did and I'll do it again! uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh

Me: LADIES!!! Just put the money in an account. I'll take it from there. Now go load up and let's get out of here!!!!!!

Get a Job, Man....

So I got a job. Seriously. I'm still in shock that I might just be gainfully employed. How did this happen??

I'll tell you how. My Sistah Mar's hubby is building a business. He's been after me a while to join in on the train on the ground floor. He finally talked me into it. And dangit, I'm excited. For two weeks, I've had alot of fun. Have felt all grown up. Am giving input. Am actually being listened to! How many can claim that?!?

I'm not stupid, though. I've gotten my Mom and my SIL in this deal with me. It's not a 9 to 5 ...Mon.-Fri. kind of deal. Loving it already, aren't you? I can take my kids...if I need to. I get to put in time at night when kids are in bed on my beloved computer!

PINCH ME, PEOPLE!

Best thing I think is that my boss (I like to call him Boss and pick on him instead of his real name...makes him go "heh heh heh"...but I seriously think he likes it!) is very family oriented. He has two girls. He knows what sickness is. He knows what a doctor's appointment is.

Just starting work, I get sick. Not just an average cold. I would almost bet one hundred dollars I have that "walking pneumonia" deal. Usually after 3-4 days, I'm good to go. Recovered and on my way. It's been a week. I'm not much better. I have laryngitis. My kids love it, of course. I can't get them to do anything around here. "Huh, Mom? Can't hear you! Sorry!" Humph. We'll see ol' girls when Mama's voice comes back. They know I can't bend over without putting Niagara Falls to shame. The hussies. I'm going to violate Child Labor Laws ten different ways, friends. But don't expect me to blog about it because it could be held against me in a court of law.

I'm employed outside the home for the first time in almost 12 years. (I'm not counting a few things here and there). I am excited about contributing financially to our household. I can still be with my children.

Dang. Pinch me again, would you?

Are YOU Getting Enough Bran?

Are you getting enough bran in your diet? Makenna is.

Makenna is a great eater. I don't know how the kid does it. She is tall and lanky and eats like a horse. I pray she'll stay this way and her metabolism will continue to be her friend. (unlike her mother and sister) It probably helps that she's never still and we now all know all the ballet steps that she knows since that's ALL she does all the time. It will wear anyone out to be around her because she's always dancing.

The other morning before schook, Makenna decided she was STARVING. I buy all kinds of cereal...good...bad...high sugar. She wanted Raisin Bran. Loves it. I fix her personal bowl and go get dressed. Midway through she comes to me and asks if she can have another bowl, she's really really really starving. I hesitate and decided..."Why not?"

Paige walked through the living room and saw Makenna eating. She started fussing about how slow she was and she was never going to finish that bowl. Makenna informed her that it was her SECOND bowl, thank you very much. Paige started laughing and told her she was going to be pooping all day long. Makenna sniffed and basically did the "PFT" * at her sister. She tends not to believe Paige most of the time.

That evening I was in the bathroom with Makenna as she got dressed for bed. She said in this amazed voice..."Mama! I lived in the bathroom all day today. I'm not gonna eat Raisin Bran again for a year! My butt is tired."

Now when Paige tells her something, she takes a second look...not sure if it's the truth or not, but storing the information for future reference.

Man, it's gotta suck being the little sister.


* PFT- have given this before but will again. This is the sound females make in disbelief or bad humor. Go ahead..say it out loud. You'll know what I mean.

Don't Call Me Names

Paige is going to drive me crazy, I do believe. I know a lot of my recent posts have to deal with her. It's either write about it or make the headlines in the morning paper.

Paige and Makenna have gotten into this nasty habit of name calling. I hate it and think it's totally uncalled for. From what I've been told by Paige's counselor, this is pretty normal. Well, Paige isn't normal and her vocabulary is very extensive for her age and the names she comes up with are just unacceptable.

This evening I was trying to get some chores done because I was meeting a friend for supper. This friend is from New Hampshire and we only get to see each other maybe once a year when she comes to visit her mother. We've been friends since sixth grade and have kept in contact since graduation. That's alot of letters, phone calls, and emails.

Back to the story. The girls were in a name calling contest and my nerves had just about all they could stand. I finally told them both that the next person that calls the other a name would have to write that word 100 times. Paige said..."Makenna, too?" I said..."Makenna can write so that includes her, too."

I send Makenna next door to do her homework because I guess the air here wasn't conducive to work today. She just couldn't get anything done.

I am folding clothes and finally finish. I tell Paige to go put them up. She decides it's time to practice being a lawyer because she starts her opening argument. I refuse to participate. I made a comment and for the life of me can't remember what it was. She looked at me and said, "Are you retarded?"

No she didn't.

I look at her at say...."I don't like that word at all. You will write it 200 times and be done before I get home from supper."

She says...."Don't you mean 100 times?"

I say....."I'm obviously retarded in your eyes so make it 200. You don't call your mother names."

I come home from supper and she has done her 200 times. I look at it and take another look.

The first 100 times she had written: retarted

My brother apparently told her the spelling mistake and on all the t's she went back and did a hoop to make it a d.

Do you know how hard it was for me not to say:

"Look who the retarded one is now?"

Wit? Sarcasm? or just another -Ism?

Ah, sweet Paige.

She had a hard time with her dad last week. There was a serious deal between them that she forbid me to blog about because she's serious about privacy...well, hers to be exact. We'll just keep mum about all I've written so far, okay?

She refused to go see him this past weekend due to what happened. He's a spiteful sort and took Makenna and his stepsons to the brand spanking new Chucky Cheese that opened. He made the comment to me ..so that I could tell Paige...that if she had done right, she would have gotten to go also. I relay the message.

That day Paige, Vitt, and I went shopping. There was a HUGE brassiere sale going on at well known department store ( I'm like Oprah..if you don't pay me, I don't advertise for you). I was determined that she have some really good ones since she has P.E. this nine weeks in school. Man, she would kill me for telling you guys this. Our mission was successful and she was prepared to start back to school.

After I relayed the message to her she turned and walked to her room. Five minutes later she comes back and says:

"If I had to choose between going to my dad's or going shopping for bras, I'd still choose bras....they give me more support than my dad."

Now I can't resist. For all those fans of the television show: That 70's Show : I will now say.....

BURN!

That sister gives a whole new meaning to the old saying: "a woman scorned"

Monkey See Monkey Do

Gonna make this as short as I can.

Decided the other day to finally go through my stack of mail and start shredding stuff that didn't need to be cluttering up my life. I think I do this around twice a year. It was time.

I get the shredder, put it on top of the trashcan and start going. Makenna LOVES the shredder. Thinks it's the coolest thing and begged for me to let her. I agreed (because it's safe and her fingers couldn't get in it) if she cleaned up the living room. Yeah, we've already established that I'm evil. Off she goes to straighten and I start putting some envelopes to the side for her. She doesn't care what she shreds, she just loves doing it.

Meantime, my son comes over to check out what Mom is doing. I shoo him back into the living room to watch the Wiggles.

Here comes Makenna. That is one happy girl doing her shreddin thang. Here comes Vitt. He wants to participate. He knows what to do since he's watched us do it. Okay, with supervision, he gets to do one or two.

Shredder stops working. I ask Mak to get me a butter knife. Methinks there's too much paper in one side. I turn off shredder, sit on floor and proceed to "operate". My supervisor...A.K.A. Vitt....squats down to watch.

Shredder is back working. Makenna is sitting in her Bratz chair working with her stack. I turn my back for ONE SECOND.

Vitt has gone to the silverware drawer and gotten himself a knife and STUCK IT IN THE SHREDDER. Oh, man, is that an awful noise or what? Freaked me out. I start hollering. He's running wide open because he KNEW he did something not quite right.

I turned the shredder off. I could not get the knife out. I had to sit on the floor with both my feet on the shredder and both hands on the knife and pull it out.

Knife had one tiny dent. Shredder still worked fine.

Nerves might recover.

One day.

What Kind of Blog?

When I started this thing called a blog, I didn't know what direction it would take. As I've wrote post after post, I realize that it does indeed center around my kids for the most part. Alot of people can't stand "mommy blogs" and that's okay with me. Some of the stuff I write might convince some of those out there who don't have children to definitely not have them. Others are nodding their heads in agreement with the stuff I have to deal with. Even more are out there shaking their heads in horror....hoping and praying their kids don't do some of the stuff mine have.

Being a stay at home mom means I don't have a boss to gripe about. I don't have the traffic woes of some (shoutout to Crazy Me on that one). I don't have to deal with a daycare. I don't have to worry about missing work for any reason.

I do have to worry about what happens when I get sick and I'm the only one here taking care of the juvenile deliquents. I do have to worry about getting up and starting the day on time. I have to worry about just about everything going on around here.

So if I post about something they do funny...or quirky....or even irritating, be grateful. There are SO many other things I could vent about. I think my husband thinks I ought to keep my mouth shut about certain things that will remain nameless but has to do with anchors and saluting and bell bottom uniforms. And I will respect him on this...until they do something else to piss me off.

I finally figured it out after all that rambling up above. This is a Hope Blog. There's no telling what you'll get. Keeps people on their toes.

Yet Another Paige-ism

My baby. My sweet, smart, incredibly hard thinking baby.

Fred picked up the HUGE book that has the Chronicles of Narnia. There's something like 7 stories and she has dug in and intends to read it all before school starts back for 2006. Yeah, she really will do it, too.

So, she's reading the first book and it drives me crazy because she has to discuss her thoughts on books she's reading...even if I have no idea what she's talking about. She stops explaining everything and decides to take a small break. Her mind is on the Bible and how this story relates to it. Keep in mind she's been going to church since she was an infant, so she's pretty up to speed on the Big Book.

On the T.V. the news is on. They are talking about the cabs at the beach that are participating in the Safe Drive Home. They will take drunks home for free instead of them getting on the road driving. Capital idea I believe. The number for one was 777-4444. She asked me why it was a number so easy. I replied that it would be easy for drunks and bartenders to remember. She nods in agreement. She then decided to go into left field for a moment and made the comment that a number one time was 666-6666. I said no, she was mistaken, that no one would use that number that I know of. She asked me why that was the devil's number. I said that 666 was the devil's number and I would have to look it up so that I wouldn't tell her the wrong thing.

She sat there for about 10 seconds and again said, "So 666 is the devil's number, right?" I answered yes, that was my understanding. Then I get........

"So what's God's number?"

And then...........

"Never mind, it's probably busy anyway."

Fa la la la la and old acquaintances and all that rot

Well, it's over and done for another whole year.

Christmas was amazing this year and somewhat different. I've never had a houseguest during that time and Fred's brother was great. He was the perfect houseguest. Didn't make any trouble..was great to get along with. This was the 4th time I've seen him in person and I hope he comes back next year. Fred was a new guy being home with family and having a sibling around. I even stepped up and in my Mother in Law's shoes and made him wear his knee brace and watched his sweet intake (he's a diabetic).

The kids scored bigtime. It seriously looks like Toys R Us threw up in my living room and that's just Vitt's stuff. Paige's karaoke machine and a few other things are stacked over on the side. When she gets her act together and drops the attitude and cleans her room, she can have full access to them. Yeah, I'm the world's worst mother. I'm sure we'll all recover from that. Makenna got her beloved Gameboy SP. We haven't really seen her since.

The week following Christmas was so busy, I can't believe how much we got done in such a short time. We all went to Virginia Tuesday evening since Fred had to muster and work for a short period Wednesday. Paige and I needed new military I.D.'s since ours expired this month. Didn't realize until we got there that they had expired the 3rd of December instead of the 31st like I thought. Mr. Dude in charge wondered why we didn't go somewhere down here and get them done. I informed him that I was still new to all of this and since they were expired, I probably couldn't get on a base down here without my sponsor (that being Fred). Crap on it. It's done and over with. Six hour drive one way for 30 minutes worth of trouble. Kids dug the hotel room as they always do and we got to order room service this time for breakfast. They are doing things I haven't done til my 30's. No fair.

We got back around 1:00 a.m. Wednesday night or would that be Thursday morning? Anyway, all day Thursday was spent dealing with the bank and get that man a new car. Mission successful. Can't believe how easily it went and Mama (that being me) got us an interest rate of 5.75%, baby. Yeah! Friday was spent changing the tags over from the other car and getting all of Fred's stuff packed up. I still believe that it's too sporty for him and he gets serious attitude when he's driving it. The heated leather seat warmers might have been overkill.

Finally got a chance to put the Christmas decorations away on Friday. Got a funny feeling because next year we'll have a tree up in Georgia. I know I'm going to put one up here, too, since we'll actually be here for the big event, but how do I split it all up? Where do I put up the handmade decorations that I lovingly wrap in tissue paper every year to preserve them? It was a weird moment for me until I decided to do as cousin Scarlett did....I'll think about it tomorrow...or next November.

So, it was a good Christmas all the way around. Hated to see Fred leave to go back yesterday. He's rung in the New Year on a submarine and me with 3 kids. We went over to my brother's house earlier to do some fireworks. Vitt got introduced to the sparkler. Big Mistake. I'm sure I'm going to find tiny burn holes in his clothes tomorrow. Kid was a maniac with them. Oh, and he can walk under the new trampoline without bending over and he believes that is the coolest thing ever.

Got a few funny things to write about later. Just wanted to do a quick update and let everyone know that we're still alive over here. Just don't hurt your jaw yawning over my exciting life.

Am trying to figure out how to post a picture. Pro D requested a pic of Makenna now snaggletoothed and adorable. Oh yeah, we're definitely not entering any pageants any time soon. (Thank goodness!)

Happy New Year and am sending wishes for a great 2006