Friday, June 29, 2007

Am I Dead Yet?

I will elaborate on the title in a moment. First, I want to tell you that, yes, we did indeed go on to the water park yesterday. Do I have stupid written on my forehead? Think about it for a second. I knew that if we took The Boy to play in a big pile of water, he would wear himself out. I was right. He swam and played for 3 hours and we stopped by Sonic on the way home. He ate an entire corn dog and drank a whole thing of milk. He and Dad took a hot shower upon arrival home and he was just about weaving after that. He slept until 9 a.m. this morning. THAT'S what I'm talking about! And the cartoon thing? He was jumping off of high things, thinking he could a slow 360 in mid air and come down with one leg sticking out while making kung-fu noises. At least that's my take on it. Hate those fighting cartoons.

Now for the Dead Post.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Georgia is kiiiiiiilllllliiiinnnnngggggg meeeeeeeeeeeee.

Everyone assured me that getting the driver's license would take all of ten minutes. They didn't know me, did they? I got there to find out that 4 picture i.d.'s , two of which are military and S.C. driver's license aren't good enough. You gotta have a birth certificate, too. Ok. Come home, got said certificate and headed back. My S.C. D.L. says *Hope Cattlecall Nutsoso. Birth certificate says Yamello Hope Cattlecall. The lady stops and says...oh no, this won't do. Apparently in the state of Georgia, all documents MUST show legal name. Hope Cattlecall Nutsoso IS my legal name. It's on my social security card. She informs me that if I want to use just H. C. N., then I must legally change my name. (Apparently dropping an unused first name isn't an option later in life.) Uh...I don't think so. I literally went rounds with her. Said Georgia could pay to change my name, I was perfectly fine with what I had going on. What the heck is up with Georgia?? I decided to go with Yamello Hope C. Nutsoso on my license. Whatever. Who really cares? She misspells my last name on the license and I have to do it again. THEN. THEN. THEN she tells me as I go to walk will be getting a letter from the social security office. Do not ignore it. You have to go get your card changed to this legal name. I leaned in and sweetly said....don't tell me. I'm getting ready to go to ANOTHER town to get tags and the social security place is in yet ANOTHER town? Yep. It is. The heck?? What happened to One Stop Shopping? Is Georgia so desperate for you to view their woodsy goodness from the interstate that they make you travel to all small towns in a 40 miles radius just to take care of something simple? I was livid by this point. And shooting daggers at my husband who, because he owns a penis, never has to go through name changes in his life.

It gets better.

We get to another town to do the tags. No waiting. Walk right in. The lady was super nice and I enjoyed talking with her. Roadblock. S.C. registration shows Hope Cattlecall Nutsoso. New license shows Yamello Hope C. Nutsoso. I kid you not. I had to sign two forms saying I was who I am. Is that not crazy????????

I am not impressed with the state of Georgia right now.

And even less impressed with good old South Carolina.

Because Georgia doesn't take old tags in. I ask around. Some say trash the plate or put it on the garage wall. Others say turn them in!! They'll charge if you don't. I call S.C. I got five days to turn them in. FIVE DAYS. No exemptions for military or dependants. The heck??

I need nerve medication or a good stiff drink by this time.

So, we're going to good ol' S.C. next week. With Georgia tags. And I'm going to give them back their precious piece of metal. And they're going to give me a receipt saying I did so.

And the next time I think about doing something that requires tags or registrations or licenses?

I'll go buy a bicycle.

Living in this country is a hard thing to do sometimes.

I also want to add. How funny are the changed names for those who know my real name?


Paige comes home today!!! I've missed her something fierce. I did want to pinch her head off last night, though. She hadn't called to check in and when I called she didn't have time for me and there was some serious eye rolling going on on her end. I just know it. She's already called today to tell me that she and three friends didn't like the choice of restaurant the church leader chose, so they went across the road to a swankier sounding establishment. She chatted for a few minutes with me....talked with Vitt who kissed the phone and said he loved her (everyone together now...AWWWWEEE) .....then told me she had to go because her soup had arrived and it looked yummiful. Yeah, I'm counting down the hours til I get her in my arms again.

Ha Ha. Spell check went insane on the name change names.


Crazy Cat Lady said...

I just happened upon your blog and wanted to say that a) WV is a much easier state to deal with when it comes to all that licensing crap, and b) that's one of the many reasons I kept my maiden name when I got married. :)

Domestic Diva said...

I'm dying here, woman. Good, God! Now do you see why Melinda and I were talking about you yesterday? And yes, Melinda, I know you're gonna see this....I had to tell her! I told her about our BRIEF conversation of how much we both love her. Then, I asked her if her ears were burning. :)

Hope, enjoy your trip back to Mama's. PS: I'll watch the ads for bike sales. That'll make yo white trash self look even betta! ;)

Melinda Meadows said...

Tattle Tale!

Yes, Miss Hope I was talking about you all day yesterday! Even talked to Conan about you! I assure you it was all good!

Somedays you just have to wonder if people purposefully do things just to annoy you, because that lady certainly had a good time with you!

Ya'y Paige is coming home! Can't wait to hear how camp went!

Charlie's Mommy! said...

You know, I still have my SC tag from before I got married. It's in my laundry room. Never gotten a bill either. :)

And hooray for Paige coming home! I can't wait for y'all to meet Charlie.