Friday, May 09, 2008

Swirling Thoughts

This week has brought forth a lot of thoughts for Miss Hope. Ahhh, there's nothing better than having thoughts swirling around your head and you try to sort them out as you go about life because you know you'll probably end up blogging about them. Bloggers are a vain bunch of people. We are just positive you want to hear our thoughts and opinions!

For those of you out there who are regular U.S. citizens? God bless you. Really.

I have experienced firsthand this week the anxiety, frustration, and confusion of a parent being gone. These are all feelings I'm pretty sure my son has felt whole heartedly. His week has gotten progressively worse since his dad has been gone. Which was really strange to me at first because I assumed that since The Man was gone for most of The Boy's first two years, it wouldn't be a hardship for The Boy to handle one measly week of Dad being gone. How wrong was I? I have seen my son wake up every morning with sleep swollen eyes, come straight to me and inform me that it's "time to get Dad". I have seen disappointment on his face when I firmly tell, this is Tues/Weds/Thurs and Dad doesn't come home until Friday. At off moments during the day (be it riding down the road or just sitting watching t.v.), he has out of the blue said..."I miss Dad."

The girls have fared better because they remember what it's like for Dad to be gone. A week is more easily handled by an older child. Yet, I have heard one make a comment that she misses him. I've had another one call him herself because something was going on and she needed to "discuss" something with him.

I have been reminded the hard way how hard it can be having a parent/spouse in the military.

I'm sure there are those of you out there who will be quick to say...well, HE signed up for this and you did too. You should've known what you were getting into.

I'll address that statement. You DON'T know what you're getting into. All you know is that you want is pretty much what every other red blooded person on this earth wants. Someone to love, honor, and cherish, and the right to marry them, have kids (if you so choose), and grow old together.

Trust me. You don't sign up to have a spouse who can be gone more then they're home. You don't sign up to have a spouse in harm's way on a regular basis. You don't sign up to be on your own when everything in the house decides to break, clog up, or explode. You don't sign up to be the one to have to make important decisions financially or medically for you or your children with no one to consult with to make sure it's the right decision.

You just sign up to love this person. You sign up to be proud of them for defending your country. You sign up make it work the best you can...even if it might involve a nerve pill from time to time.

Can I just say I am so glad that we are ending this career on a shore duty? After going through this week alone, I have discovered I am just too old to handle it all on my own. I think my husband has discovered that he has no desire to go back out to sea anymore if at all possible. Those days are over for him and he is perfectly okay with it.

Please don't misunderstand me. I know life isn't hard just for military families. I see the price of gas (and I get so completely ticked off over it it's not even funny). I see my grocery bill and know we're not the only ones affected by rising prices. I see there is a shortage of jobs in this country for anyone who is trying to make ends meet in the middle.

I do ask that you have sympathy for our babies. They have it the hardest of all. You might not be a supporter of what's going on with our military, so I ask you to understand that where ever our military members are? It's not necessarily by choice. They are there because that's where they have been told to go and they are doing the job they have been told to do.
And if they are good? They are doing that job to the best of their abilities. I ask that you not forget that there are spouses who are keeping the home fires burning while worrying about the safety of those who are gone. I, for one, will be remembering my military families more in my thoughts and prayers because I have been there and hopefully won't have to go back. I also will remember the families of those on the civilian side of the coin who have spouses/parents gone on a regular basis because that's what has to be done to simply survive and make it to the next day.

Now that I've gotten those run-around-my-brain thoughts out of the way, I can go forward with my day.

I am beyond ready to pick my husband up at the airport this afternoon.

I am so very thankful to have my friend Carla, who had pity on me last night and let us eat supper at her house. Nothing soothes the soul better than sitting around the table with friends while kids run crazy. I do believe there is magic in pizza and chips and dip. Don't forget a seemingly endless supply of diet coke.

I am looking forward to Mother's Day this weekend and spending it with my entire family unit.

I am REALLY looking forward to the anniversary of my birth next week. Big plans have been made and I don't think I've anticipated something this much in a long time! Expect to hear from guest bloggers next week!

Have a wonderful weekend, my Internets. If you can't get to the store to buy a card? Make one. Mom's love those. We'll keep those quicker than anything else we might get.


Mrs. Em said...

Sometimes it's good to have this time away. You realize that you're lucky to have the man you do. You realize that every single day is precious. You realize that you've got life pretty good. You realize that...above're totally blessed.

In between the crying spells, screaming fits, whining, hitting, professions of , "No, Mama!" I often take a few seconds to realize that life is still good. Granted, it could be a heck of a lot better if my husband was home every day, but it's good.

I know a lot of people read your blog, Hope, and my heart swells with pride when you profess your support for the military! People need to know. People need to understand just what it is we deal with on a daily basis.

Welcome Home, Fred! Enjoy your wonderful weekend back with your family.

Pikes Pickles said...

You did it ! Hoorah for you. I am so sorry that it has been such a L O N G week. Okay here is the deal.... the next time " THE MAN" goes out of town you let me know. We will plan a trip here to San Diego. We can get cheap tickets on the base for anything I don't have tickets for(Like the Zoo and Wild Animal Park). You have your self a little vacation out here. I would love that because our family and friends visitors is far and few between since we moved across the country. I can handle "the boy"... I've had a few boys. We get to hang out, go to the beach. It's all good.
Once my man retires ( LESS THAN A YEAR) we will probably be moving back East again.

chelle's winks said...

I know you are glad the week is over. This should have been the easy one cause you did all the hard stuff when Vitt was little. You all have just gotten spoiled by having him home so much and that's a good thing. Have a great weekend!

Jill AKA busymom said...

I have to agree with you Ms. Hope...Although I am ONLY 37 I am too old for this stuff. In 20 years of service we have done 14 and 1/2 years at sea. I was sure I was ready for this pac......but it has been by far the worse one yet...even worse than the 9 and 1/2 month one we did in '03. It gets harder not easier...I think because the longer your together the closer together you get...sothe worse it is when they go...sigh

Em..I was saying the same thing to Mellie life could be so much worse...I could be going through chemo right now, or my kids could be ill....or acting much worse than they do, or my husband could be gone on to heaven...not just on pac. So I have to be grateful:)

Sam, Missy and Alex said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Get Off My Lawn! said...

He's home by now so welcome back to him. I think it's sad that there are so many people out there who don't understand. A nation's military is vital to its sovereignty. Without a military, you're not a country at all. Instead, you are completely ignored in world affirs and are victim to then next agressor. Just ask Poland. People who agree to give up their freedom in order to guarantee freedom for others are to be admired. Even if the leadership is wrong. It doesn't matter. A military is useless if it doesn't do what it's told. I also admire people like you that are part of that life even if you don't wear a uniform.
Happy mother's day!