Friday, August 29, 2008

The Meeting

The meeting went well yesterday. I had to laugh to myself a little bit as they assured me over and over how smart The Boy is. We know this already. That's part of his problem! He's too smart for his own good at times.

I was pleased that it was emphasized that there are NO labels involved or stated. The director/principal said that each child is unique and some times it just takes a little longer to figure out how to make their class room experience the best it can be for them. They assured me that he isn't in danger of being kicked out (WHEW! I was almost a puddle of relief over that statement)...yet.

I was blown away by the fact that time-outs are no longer allowed. It hurts the child's self esteem. They are redirected to another activity. Oh, this is after they sit and think a minute about their actions. Sounds suspiciously like a time out to me. Behaviour charts are no longer allowed because a child may get depressed if they don't do as well as they think they should. Plus, you don't know how parents react when the child gets home. You beating the crap out of them if they didn't behave or locking them in a closet. There I sat with my mouth hanging open as I listened. Of course, I had something to say. I said....uh, you can't incorporate corporal punishment so when they do something wrong you just write them up and make them "think" a minute?? And you've taken away the behaviour chart so they have nothing to work for . My son GETS the chart. He had one last year in 3-K and he knew that if his bumblebee hit the ground from bad decisions? He was gonna have a bad day when he got home. I told them this. I said, he needs to have something to work for. He needs to know that if he makes bad choices, home won't be fun when he gets there. Guess what? My boy had a behaviour chart waiting on him this morning. I provided the stickers for it. I picked some up on clearance last year just because and was hanging onto them. We'll see how he works with goals and such starting today.

I was a little bit ahead of them yesterday. I was saying stuff before they got a chance to. I finally told them I was a certified child care specialist and had done this job before. They told me I seemed to be on top of my game. That's where I had to laugh at them and myself. You see....I told them....I have two older daughters who have NEVER had a behaviour issue at school. I put the fear of God in those girls and they would have rather run away to China than come home and tell me they misbehaved at school. Paige would interject with a "You got that right!!!" at this point. The Boy? No fear. I think that's what bugs me the most. He's not scared of Mama's Wrath. Oh, he acts like it when he gets his butt cut, but it's all for show.

At one point we discussed him watching television. Kids his age should only be was either 30 minutes a day or week. I looked them straight in the eye and I said, "He watches nothing but educational programs with the occasional power rangers thrown in. When I have to get something done that can't be interrupted like cooking? I need that television to keep him occupied to get it done. If I don't? Then I can promise you he will be into something as soon as I turn my back."

I feel like the meeting went well. Miss Kim said she will have some documentation for me to carry to the psychiatrist next week when The Man and I go for the initial visit. The director gave an open invitation to the psychiatrist to come and observe The Boy in a class room setting if she needs to. Miss Director also said that if the doctor has any suggestions, they will be more than willing to work as a team in order to help. I really can't ask for more than that, can I? I keep thinking we might, just might, be able to do this without medication being involved. That's my wish and hope right now. We'll see. Still keeping the open mind here, you know.

Can I just say I'm blown away by all the comments from yesterday? You all stepped up to the plate and your support and words of encouragement were just what I needed. When situations rise up in your life, you feel so all alone. To know that there are others who understand and just get it? Wow. That's like gravy on mashed potatoes to me.

There's a long weekend ahead, Internets. Enjoy the last official weekend of summer and the ability to wear white pants and white shoes freely. After Monday? You're taking a fashion risk! Well, in The South you will be. Don't be fooled. You can hear that the rule no longer applies, but if you are in this region and wear white pants or white sandals/dress shoes (tennis shoes are excluded) after Labor Day? The Southern Belles will be talking smack about you behind your back. I'm just saying.....


chelle said...

Sounds like things are on the right track! We had a good day yesterday too:)...

ally said...

Thats good to know about the shoes and pants! I guess im in the south now so I better be on top of my game!

Love you Southern Mama!

Pikes Pickles said...

Dang it Ally is now reading you before I do.Whats up with that? As I read the last part I honestly thought Id better let Ally know.

I am glad the meeting went well. I will now be praying that you get a good psychiatrist. And not one endorsed by medsRus. You had to supply your own behavior chart?

I am totally here for you.

Monogram Queen said...

Sorry i've been MIA and need to catch up. I totally believe in "old school ways". Kids need boundaries, they need to know that they won't always be first/win, they need to learn life is not always fair.

Jill AKA busymom said...

Yeah...that's the big push in ECE these time out...they would rather you call it a break...whateva its time out no matter what you call it. When I taught 4th grade I had a parent ask if I could please not correct her sons paper in red was bad for his he needs to see which ones he got wrong...won't work if I use the same color pen as him!

TV....whenthe kids were little and Rick was gone and I need to get something done I would so put that boob tube on...come on up until a year ago the peds clinic had the tv on 24/7!

So glad the meeting went well! Hawaii we wear our white pants and shoes year round:)

Wendy said...

Miss Hope, please do not be too discouraged by everything going on. It's going to be okay.

What is up with the time-out and behaviour chart? It seems like we're allowed to do less and less to teach our kids to be good!

C said...

Okay, you know what? I am SO happy I'm not the only one who often has educational television on. RR knows the entire alphabet now, but she does watch more than the recommended amount of TV. Sesame Street, Blue's Clues, Superwhy... I see no harm in having the television on sometimes, but I end up feeling so guilty based on "recommendations."

I'm glad your day went well and that the meeting was better than you expected. I'll be praying for you all.

Shane said...

Good for you...what a lucky little boy you have! So many parents won't stand up to administrators. You know your stuff and your son will benefit from it.

Sugar said...

Glad to hear the meeting went well. Enjoy the rest of the long weekend.

Susan said...

Yep, mine probabably watched more than they should...esp the youngest...but they are scared of the mama...which is as it should be.

They tried to diagnose our middle son with ADHD...we didn't go to the psych and refused meds...he was bored out of his skull...and explosive and energetic on the playground...if he was interested in something, he was enthralled for hours...he could do the same 3 puzzles for an after another. If he's pre-k - he might like 'search' puzzles. We used puzzles with him and talking...he was a bit older than your Boy...but hang in there. #2 son is now in 2nd year college and oldest is in the Army.