Thursday, February 14, 2008

Under Attack

Pardon my absence, would you please? The Edge has been under attack. By what, you ask? The nastiest stomach virus to hit the SouthEast in a long time, I do believe I can safely say.

*Disclaimer: The following story might invoke visuals you'd probably prefer not to have. I'm just saying.*

We headed to Edge I this past Friday for a visit. Makenna needed to celebrate her birthday with family and I needed to see my Grandma, who's been very ill in the hospital. We were 15 minutes from home. We had been travelling for almost 4.5 hours when The Boy started puking. Paige immediately took action and caught the majority of it in the blanket that was covering him. I, on the other hand, have the weakest stomach when it comes to the sight, sound, and smell of such. I had to roll the window down and literally stick my head out to keep from getting sick myself. We pulled over to clean the best we could and tie up offensive odors in a bag. A Sheriff's Deputy saw us pull over quickly and came to see what was wrong. He was was wonderfully understanding and even donated a roll of paper towels out of his trunk. Since it was past midnight, he even stayed until we left to make sure we wouldn't need his services. Fine department public relations going on there. Vitt ended up being sick all night long. Dad slept with him and tended to him because everyone knows how Mama can't handle it.

I thought we were clear after that.

I was wrong.

We were on the way home Sunday afternoon, early evening. Makenna mentioned she didn't feel well. I knew this thing was a sneaky beast and would attack without a lot of forewarning. I provided her with a bag and a blanket and asked that she just hang on til we got back home.

Didn't happen.

Seventy miles before our exit, she exclaimed she was gonna be sick. I unbuckled and turned my big butt to all of I-95 so I could help. That girl put the Exorcist to shame. I have never seen someone projectile vomit like that. It came up through the seats to the front, got on Vitt and a few things on the floor. Oh, the smell. That smell. Fred wasn't feeling good already, so next thing I knew? Both windows were coming down. At 75 m.p.h. In slightly coolish air. We pulled over at the next exit. This time The Man was unable to help clean as his stomach was considering a rebellion.

Do you know what that means?

Paige cleaned the brunt of it and I had to help. I dug clothes out of the dirty clothes bag to send Makenna to change in the convenience store bathroom. Fred was delegated to buy air freshener and garbage bags. We managed to clean a majority of it and I hung a 30 gallon bag over the passenger front seat in front of Makenna. She assured me she felt MUCH better and I informed her that she would continue to be sick and she better put her head in that bag when she was.

*My friend interrupted me later as I was telling her this to remark, "I bet that'll be the only time in your life it'll be legal to tell your child to put their head in a plastic bag." I believe she's right.*

Only a few miles down the road, my husband informed me he had to stop and I would have to finish the drive. As I sat waiting on him at the rest area, I called my Daddy to wonder aloud if we would ever make it home. By then, we were only 30 miles from home. The Man came back to tell me it was a false alarm, but he still wanted me to drive.

A couple more miles and Makenna got sick. And continued to be sick. By then I had gotten on the tail of a Mercedes with dark tinted windows going around 85 m.p.h. I had windows rolled halfway down, heater wide open, leaned forward, with furrowed brows as I hung with this car busting the speed limit left and right. I saluted them when I reached my exit. Fred barely made it to our home before he got sick.

It was not a good night.

Then Paige woke up sick. I had a funky stomach. Vitt wasn't faring well in the pooping department.

Needless to say.....we all holed up Monday and just laid around in our pajamas. We were unable to do much else.

Now we are mostly mended. Everything is back on schedule and I'm crossing fingers that it has left for good. I don't think we could handle another round.

My grandma has been up and down all week. I haven't even put the suitcase up because I fear we may have to pack it up and head back to S.C. My mother was attacked by this virus, along with my niece and nephew (last I heard). I can't get over how violent this thing is and how it just goes through your system like a bad hurricane/tornado/tsunami. With earthquake aftershocks. Anyone who has had it will be nodding in agreement right about now.

I have other things to fill you in on, but I must go get dressed as I have volunteer duties this morning. I must find time to power nap this afternoon as my handsome man is taking me out to eat in a swanky restaraunt tonight. He proposed five years ago today and it's been the ride of my life since!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

p.s. Can someone please tell me why spell check isn't working now? That just bugs me!!!


Krys72599 said...

While the visuals were, shall we say, yukky, this post was just another example of how well you write, Miss Hope! Even without having the stomach thing, I could just about start heaving when I read today's entry. (I was sick last month, blessed with just the stuffy-head-fever-cough virus, no stomach ailment, thank goodness!)
SO glad to hear you're all feeling better, and keeping your grandma in my prayers...

chelle's winks said...

That is sooo sick Hope...Glad it's over.