Monday, February 25, 2008

What a Treat

I had my first Spa Day this past Saturday. Emily convinced me that it was the end all be all of personal enjoyment. We arrived a couple minutes early so we could stop in next door at the coffee shop (not that one, Lawn). We decided to get some fresh made smoothies to sip on while we got spa'd up.

Then it was time to check in.

Em headed back first while Carla and I hung out. Carla got called back for her manicure and I was led to the Relaxation Room to await my facial.

Now it gets good.

That little 4'10" in girl took me to the dimly lit restroom and told me to take off all my clothes and put a robe and slippers on.

Excuse me?

She repeated herself and I just looked at her like I was stupid. I then informed her that I was getting a facial.

She knew this information and then told me to take off my clothes and put a robe on.

Again, I repeated that I was getting a facial.

Again, she repeated that I was to strip and put a robe on.

I was getting a little miffed by then. I got a little louder in the relaxation foyer and said...."I'm getting a FACIAL. To me, facial equals FACE....not naked body."

This tiny little thing wanted to argue with me! And here I was...six inches taller and quite heavier than her 80lbs thinking.....Girl, I will snap you in two.

I just agreed to shut her up and locked her out of the bathroom. Then my rebel self said.....get naked? I don't think so. I took my shirt and flip flops off. Kept everything else. I locked my purse and shirt up and sat in the Relaxation Room. With my phone in hand. Texting Emily and Carla like crazy about what was going on. Texting my husband to let him know I was having issues.

Gawd. Sometimes I'm half crazy. Hindsight now says I might need some serious therapy.

Then I looked around. Relax, huh? The room is lit with 10watt light bulbs. There's ice water to drink (probably tap water and the water here is atrocious)....apples...biscuits(aka cookies)...and something else to nibble on. There's a little fountain bubbling in the corner beside me and some new age music softly playing above my head.


I sat there with anxiety crawling up my back into my neck. This was NOT relaxing to me.

Relaxing to me is a good book. A cup of coffee to sip on. HGTV playing in the background. Someone to talk to.

I needed a Zanax. Or Valium. I'm not picky.

Em came out from her facial and joined me. I explained my issues and she felt so bad! I truly didn't mean for her to feel bad...but I was out of my mind with anxiety. My mother and daughter go from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds flat. I have anxiety, but am a bit slower to rise. I was cruising around 110 by then. 30 minutes in a dark room can do that to a person. Dude! They didn't even have a magazine in there. Nothing.

I was called back. I explained my mental problem to my Facialist (that's what she said to call her in my blog). She was nice, but firm. She pretty much told me that we were gonna do this and it was going to be GOOD. Ok, man. I had to take my robe off and get on the table under the blanket. Oye, did I have a headache by then or what?

She was kind and gracious the entire time. She explained everything as she went. I told her I knew I was supposed to come in, lay there, and be quiet...but being quiet isn't how I roll. She laughed and said she didn't mind talking. She, too, gets tired of being quiet all the time. NOW, I could start relaxing. She didn't do a shoulder massage (because I can't STAND to have someone pinching on my shoulders). She did a neck and scalp massage. Oh yeah. She started laughing again and said, "My goodness. You sat out there getting all tense over this and now you are one HUGE knot." We discussed the different packages she did in case I wanted to gift someone with this wonderful scalp massage. At the end she called me a Knuckle Head and said she expected to see me again. Good woman to tolerate me.

I enjoyed a pedicure that got rid of the winter crusties on my heels. For some reason, I usually get a french pedicure, but Saturday was different. Miss Hope needed some color!! Got me some HOT pink on the tootsies. I lurve OPI. Best polish in the entire world!

We all met back up out front to pay and head out. We walked slowly to the Gas Guzzler because we were feeling oooooooooookay. I picked on Emily for being like a wet noodle. Girlfriend was RE-laxed. I'm glad she talked me into going. I might've worried her for a little bit, but her masseuse beat the stress out of her.

It was a good day all around in Edge-ville. I'm thinking the girls might need to do more fun things together. Next? SHOPPING.

A good weekend was had by all. Emily's house was where we hung Saturday evening since she needed some home repairs the menfolk had to take care of. I hit that meeting yesterday...even though I didn't want to. I'm not about meetings on Sundays. Now the week begins and I'm once again fighting mountains of laundry. It never ends!


M.L.E said...

Alright, let me tell all the folks out there...

At my last facial in S.C., I was not expected to undress. Just a little smock thing on top, and all was good. Hope said I felt bad. Change that to TERRIBLE! I was "off" for the rest of the day because I felt so bad.

And yes, Miss Hope, the massage girl worked me one good! My neck and shoulders are STILL in pain from it all.

In the end, though, I'm glad you made it through. I'm just so sorry you were in need of some pills and a stiff drink! Next time, shopping it will be! Then if you have to take off your clothes, it'll be because you want to try on some delightful outfits before you buy them!

House of Hayes said...

Yeh I am with you Hope...NO NEKKIDNESS to get my face and upper parts massaged and worked on.
Glad you had a nice time getting your piggies painted :)

chelle's winks said...

This just might be the funniest blog you have ever written. I can hardley comment from wiping the tears from my face. I know you so well and I can invision the whole day!!!I can't believe you went through with it ...better yet I can't believe someone shut you up and made you do this when your anxiety level was sooo high...

Let me know when the next one is planned cuz the 4 hour drive from SC just might be worth it!!!

You are really "moving up" from yo little country life in J'Ville.

Love ya girl..this is when I realize how much I miss you!

I'm so glad you've made friends with people that can enjoy your company too...It would have been a waste if you didn't.

Gotta go re-do my make-up now!!!

chelle's winks said... m.l.e. I can't get into your blog...but I'm glad ya'll got to see the real Miss Hope...If ya ever have any questions just ask...I'll tell what I can w/o getting myself into too much trouble.

Same goes for you Carla...I'm glad you two have Miss Hope now...take good care of her...She's doesn't want you to know but she is really fragile under that tough coating (HA!)

The Pikes said...

Hello neighbor - I live here on "the edge" as well. Chelle introduced me to you . You'll have to thank her. How long have you been livin here? I have been here on and off since I had my first kid. We oughta come up with a home owners association here in our lively little town. haha.
You'll have to come and visit me (via blog) someday.


House of Hayes said...

And you weren't even out of tune :)


Sam, Missy and Alex said...

Oh my gosh! You are a flippin' hoot! Oh by the way I'm Sabrina and I clicked here through Chelle.
I have laughed my butt off at your humor! Ok, I have to share! First theres nothing wrong with wanting to rip someones face off, especially if they push you into something-I'm with ya, Girl!Take out Tiny! I got your back!
Secondly- I read the puking post, Oh my gosh, I so can relate! Picture if you will a toddler, who at the time can only eat crackers and water because he's a nice green shade, in a minivan(thats green, too-but that has nothing to do with my story,ha!)heat of the summer and he starts to get out of the van and get sick when my mother says go to your mom and he turns back into the van and sprays my husband and I. I swear his head popped off! My husband is the weak stomached one and I thought he was going to loose it but I screamed for my mom to get Alex, my son, and I lost it before she could move him... it was horrible! So the moral of this story if you kid pukes on you just puke right back-that'll teach em! Alex hasn't puked on me since that day! I think this is called tough love! just kidding!
So come by and see us sometime!!
Sabrina(Missy) and Family !!!!