An Ordinary Day

Paige, at age eleven, thinks she is boss. Of everything. And everyone. The other day she was bossing Makenna around. Ordering her to do this and to do that. Finally, fed up with all the dictatorship, she says to Paige:

"One day you're gonna be old and you're gonna need my help and I'm not gonna give it to you"

Paige had no response. This led me to believe that I needed to be good to Makenna because one day I WILL be old and I WILL need her help and if I've pissed her off too badly at some point and time in her life, she might just hold out on me and not lend a helping hand!

We had a good Southern evening here. The weather is absolutely perfect, folks. I'm talking upper 60's...no humidity...and there's a hurricane brewing in the Atlantic. What did I tell you? Good weather = catastrophe.
I cut the grass this good evening, and as I cut, I could smell the chickens my Dad was cooking on his back porch. I made a mental note not to tell Fred what we were having to eat because it simply wasn't fair that he's stuck on some halfway done submarine doing duty whilst we enjoyed life. Man, was it good. Perfect even.
After supper we're sitting on the front porch watching the kids play whilst we rocked under the slow moving ceiling fans. My SIL proceeds to tell us that my brother has to go out of town next week for work. He has to fly. He has never flown. I just start laughing. This guy is so safe in his comfort zone, it would take a HUGE stick of dynomite to get him out....or a boss who gives him no choice. She says he asks last night....what am I doing to do? I can't take my knife or my gun with me. (He has a license to tote, friends. He's a by-the-book-kind-of-guy..mostly) She simply looks at him and says: Duck. and RUN. After thinking about it, he says...I AM quick. This is going to be the highlight of my month, I'm sure. He is going to be a freaking basket case about flying and Mr. Tuff Guy would die before he lets it show. Maybe he'll pass out for like a minute. (insert evil grin) I mean, he's just so macho and cool....being brought down a peg would be too sweet for me. I'll never know though, because he'd lie before he'd admit it. Especially to me.

Yes, I've flown. And I hated it. I told my husband that if anyone in his family gets real sick or even tries to die, they need to give us at least 3-4 days notice so we can drive there. I'm not joking. And with the price of gas (paid $2.97 a gallon this morning) as it is...they better be durn serious about being sick or dead.

And I would be completely remiss if I didn't tell you about our new discovery here. We are a Pop Tart family. I like to buy the chocolatey ones so if I am having an incredible craving at night, I can munch on one instead of a candy bar (which I do not purchase to come into my house anyways). They have pulled one over on us, folks. They now have Strawberry Milkshake. Lawd. It's so bad, I have a box hid. The kids are vicious and are like bloodhounds. They can sniff the good stuff out in seconds. You simply must try them. We don't even cook them. They are that good.

And that's the news for today. Nothing spectacular or adrenaline inducing. But I'm to the point in my life that when Fred asks me if anything has happened today....I am thrilled when I can report NO! Let's keep it smooth and easy, people. Mama likes it that way.

Time to say Something...Anything....

About this devastation our country is dealing with. I sit here with hands poised above the keyboard and I'm simply stumped.

I've read so many accounts and blogs over the past week. I felt the anger, bitterness, feelings of betrayal. I've seen a sputter of hope flicker and sometimes die a quiet death.

I grieve. I grieve the death of so many people. So many elderly. So So So many babies. My heart aches every time I see a fellow American crying...full of anguish....on my television screen. Paige....who is in that tween self involved stage...rolls her eyes because when coverage comes on, I start to cry. Everytime. She says.....oh Mama, just turn the stupid thing off if it upsets you that badly. She can't understand that just because you turn the t.v. off, it doesn't make it all go away. How sweet it would be if it could. I believe that every single person with any emotion within them will be forever haunted by the images we've seen....the visuals we've gotten from hearing. I, for one, can't get the babies out of my head. Will I ever?

Although I agree with some on how things have been handled...and disagree with some others.....one thing is certain. If we don't get past the bullcrap politics of the situation and come together as a nation like our forefathers fought so hard to establish....we're going to lose much more than a historical landmark. Much more than lives unprepared to go so soon. Much more than streets covered in murky sludge.

You figure it out.

Happy Anniversary!!

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!!!!!!!

36 Years and STILL going Strong!!!!

How rare am I to have my parents still married and still loving each other? Yes, I know how lucky I am. I can only hope to make it that far in my life.

Just had to recognize two very important people in my life. And no, they don't read the blog because...dang, my mom would leave too many comments and my dad still doesn't know how to turn the computer on and doesn't want to learn.

It has been decided....

The big boy will be staying up past tomorrow's Labor Day. After all that has happened in our beloved South, my brother started thinking. He is one that if WWIII started, we're going to his house. He's totally prepared. I can't give details because then I wouldn't be able to go. 'Nuff said bout that.

ANYWAY. We've decided that hurricane season will not be over for us until October 1. Yes, we know the season lasts through November but history shows us that the worse ones come in September. In fact, we tend to get a little nervous and out of sorts everytime September 1 rolls around. Remember Hurricane Hugo hitting South Carolina? I was living at the beach that summer(round abouts Myrtle Beach)(hold on while I sit and remember a moment........ohhhh, what a summer that was....) Ok, am back. I left to attend college. In one night my whole summer of memories was wiped away. Literally. I go to visit there now once in a while and there is nothing from when I lived there hardly. It is devastating to have memories wiped away like they were never even there.

Jeesh. Back to the story. Due to possible bad weather we are keeping the Big Boy up through September. We may not be able to swim in it, but we will keep it treated and run the pump regularly. We were without power for 6 weeks due to bad weather before. There are 5 children who will need to be cleaned. Our toilets are run by wells. That operate off of electricity. No city water here, folks. We will need water to flush said toilets should the power desert us. Therefore, it is official. The Big Boy will remain to hopefully take care of us should the need arise.

My brother can now sleep at night. Wait. Until he realizes the water might have to be warmed up and does he have enough propane to last at least 3 months?

Ice Cream Wins Again...dangit

~sigh~ .......~sigh again~...........

so here's the story:

We got this little country store down the road from my house. It's been there as long as I've been breathing ....only been through like 3 owners the whole time. It's a store that if you're not from the area...you probably wouldn't stop at. It's just old and the gas pumps are long dried up. Old men sit out in front and watch the vehicles go by and spit tobacco. My grandaddy used to sit out there many hours. It was/is gossip central and you can hear the police/ems scanner going off everytime you walk in. Country living, folks. Everyone in the area loves this place and you can find just about anything you need there...for a price, of course.

This place has hand dipped ice cream. For one dollar...that's $1.00...no tax....you can get a styrofoam cup (bigger than a kiddie cup...a tad smaller than a "to go" cup from your favorite place to eat) full to the brim of your choice of what's in the cooler. And we all know my weakness for ice cream. ~sigh again~ The other day when I went, I picked up a cup for me and one a piece for the girls. I think I picked peaches and cream that day. You never know the selection because it varies everytime. It's like a Christmas stocking....you just never know what's inside. That day there was bubblegum. Yo. That should work perfect for Makenna. Bubblegum=kids. Right? Wrong. She was so upset because that is just disgusting (tasted pretty good to me later when I ate it for her). She wanted any flavor but that one. I promised to get her one next time I went. Mostly to shut her up at that moment.

So here I go yesterday in that Country Store. I asked the lady in charge if she had grape in stock? I knew for a fact that Mu loves the grape flavor. Next thing I know that woman is listing all the flavors available and I felt blood rushing to my head. Did she just say BANANA PUDDING????? I had to stop her. She DID say that. Oh sweet mercy. I knew I didn't need that ice cream. But I wanted that ice cream. Bad. (sounds like a crack addict again). As she's walking back to get Mu's, she asks if I want one? Crap. "Yeah," I holler back, "gimme one of that pudding...I'm having a hard time believin' that one." I get the cups in a sack and slunk back out to my van. I come straight home and put it in the freezer. I will resist. I will resist. I will resist.

Can I help it if Rock Star INXS was THAT good? I find my self walking in a trance to that freezer. Getting a spoon out of the drawer. Sitting back down. I am on the phone with Fred at this time and I don't let him know I am eating this ice cream. Why? I don't know...I just didn't! Ok? It would have been rude since he didn't have any. Sweet Mother. It's not bad. Then I bite into something. I am lost. IT HAD FREAKING VANILLA WAFERS IN IT, PEOPLE. Ohhhhh, the shock! Ohhhhh, the goodness and mercy. I cannot believe God gave such a marvelous talent to someone as to come up with that ice cream. I really can't. I think it rates right up there with being a heart surgeon.

So the ice cream won again. ~snort~ Like I really put up a fight.

Coming Home

Coming home. What a wonderful thing to say. To hear. To anticipate.

In a previous post I mentioned a friend of mine whose husband is in Iraq. He was coming home for his two week leave back at the first of July. She and the kids enjoyed every second he was home and even let him go back. They didn't want to. Well, his time is almost up over there. He is there with a man from my church and two other guys I grew up with. W (friend's hubby) and J (man from my church) are full time national guard and therefore have been gone longer than others due to getting things ready.

Miss M, mah friend, sent an email out last week. She had gone over her 2004 calendar and was making some observations. Like how many days W had been gone. The last time they had a "date" night. How he's missed first days of 5K and first grade for the oldest child. How he missed all the teething with the second child and her first words. Now she speaks in sentences. Just a list of things that are small but make a big picture. I cried reading it...knowing that even though she's made it through...it was such a hard road.

At church Sunday, I asked the mother of one of the guys I grew up with if she had heard from him. She laughed and said that he had called at 3 a.m. that morning because they call when they get the chance and no one complains about what time of day or night the phone rings. He was mostly chit-chatting and the excitement came through. They call everyday over there "wakeups". Before he would talk about months...then weeks....now he says "I have X number of wakeups....then I'm coming home".

Mr. J's wife came in then and I asked her how he was doing. Ready to come home. (he's got 4 grankids chomping at the bit to see Papa) I asked her if she was ready for him to come in and take over the house again after she's been on her own for so long.

And this is what I found out.

And it's so cool.

When our soldiers come home they have to take a class of sorts. They don't come straight from the airport home. They have things to do equipment-wise and a class. This class is to show them how to integrate themselves back into their homes and families. They stress to the men that you do NOT come in and take over. Your wife has been rowing the boat on her own for a while and she might not want ...uh.....help. And I think this is cool. Very smart of someone to come up with this. I guess the divorce rate was so high before, they realized a little help might be needed in this area.

We are waiting for our men to come home. They've been gone for over a year and we've missed them in our everyday lives. Best part about it? Everyone our unit sent will be coming home...walking...breathing....alive.

A Taste of Heaven

A little background for you. My mother is a diabetic. She's had problems with her sugar for 11 years but controlled it with mostly diet and medication in the form of pills. She started getting sick this past Spring and it worried the whole family. Finally, my Dad and I put our foot down and we told her she was going to the doctor accompanied by me. Mr. Doctor ran a whole battery of tests. Alas, he put her on insulin shots. It insulted her. It depressed her. It pissed her off. Now my Mom is a woman of faith. Strong faith. I wish to be as strong in faith as she is just one day if that is any indication. She even ranted and raved about how HE could do this when he knew how much she loved food. We let her vent and said nothing.

She's doing better as time goes by. She is learning how to eat and how to administer her shots. I've even given her some in her arm and even though I don't let her see, I cringe everytime I do it. But it keeps her alive and alive is how I want her to be. My dad and I are constantly watching her to make sure she's not overdoing the carbs and sweets. I truly think she doesn't like us when we gently cough and shake our heads no when she's over doing it with a piece of cake or pie.

Fast forward to today. I call her as the girls and I are leaving counselling. To tell her we are done and going to grab a bite to eat. She inquires as to where we are dining. I tell her we decided we wanted Mexican. She pauses and asks if I will pick up an order of chips and salsa. She then rushes to tell me how good she's been and that she only wants a few. I'm no prison warden. I agree. When I order my meal...a steak burrito....I receive two and end up taking one home since I truly couldn't eat both without throwing up. I bring it into her house when I get home. I thought maybe my dad would like it for supper. She opens the box and just smells it. She gets a fork and cuts off the very end, making sure to get a piece of steak. Folks, I saw what a crack addict looks like. I seriously did. The pure bliss that came across her face was amazing. She quickly closes the lid and starts to fix my dad's plate. Almost anxious-like about it. I sit on the other side of the bar and just watch. She finally looks at me and says...very quickly.....I'm passing on the chips. Don't tell your dad you got this. I want it. I want it bad. I tell her to go for it. ~shrugs~ The woman was in a near frenzy. I figured if she was denied the pleasure of that steak burrito....we'd have to commit her. And I'm not joking.

Rewind a year or so ago. We're at the beach eating at this sinfully huge seafood buffet place. Hey, everyone is allowed at least once a year. And my family ALWAYS meets that quota. We enjoy the bestest meal ever ....crab leg skeletons litter the table like a war zone. Time for the dessert buffet bar. Here goes Mom. She comes back with one little piece of something and this incredibly smug smile on her face. We all glance around thinking she might have just eaten off of the bar to keep us off her back. She is seriously addicted to sweets. She looks around and announces..."I know what heaven looks like." Huh? What do you mean Mom? and she continued with...she knew what heaven looked like because she finally figured it out. Do tell us, Mom. Her theory. When you die and if you've followed the plan right and you go to heaven, there is no pain or suffering. Well, she's suffered this time on Earth being denied one of the biggest things that make her happy....sweets. When she walked over to that dessert buffet bar, she knew without a doubt that when she died and went to heaven.....God is gonna have a dessert buffet waiting on her and He's gonna hand her a fork and tell her to dig in. She looks around the table and informs everyone there that when they finally get to heaven....get directions to that buffet cuz that's where she's gonna be. Rock on Mom.

7....seven....siete.....

I was over visiting a blog that I've come to enjoy quite a bit. Miss Angela was tagged to do this "7" deal and then tagged me towards the end. I wish I knew how to highlight her name all fancy-like so you can just click on it and VOILA..show up on her site...but, alas, I cannot. I don't know how! OK? Go to my comments and catch her link there. It's worth the trip. Good reading. Please be warned that I very rarely give one word answers...I like to elaborate. So here goes my answers to "7".

7 Things to do Before I Die:
~ Lose weight. I've done it before and gotta get my moxie up to do it again.
~ Quit smoking. Yes! I smoke! soooo ashamed. It's a leftover from those darned teen years and 20's. But rest assured. I don't smoke around my children. My habit...not theirs.
~ Travel outside of the country. Preferably to somewhere safe. And then come back just as safe.
~ Survive raising kids through the teen years. Nuff said on that.
~ Go on a cruise. I've heard tales in the dark about midnight buffets. I want to see this for myself.
~ Drive a convertable (spell check again, please). At the beach. With super cool shades on. After I've lost weight.
~ Be on the front pew when my children get married and at the hospitol when my granchildren are born.

7 Things I Can Do:
~ Sing. Give me some Eagles harmonizing and I'm there.
~ Talk to total strangers where ever I am. Totally kills the teaching of "Don't talk to strangers" to my kids. They just can't grasp the concept.
~ Be brutally honest. Some consider that a character flaw. Is just how I am.
~ Be on my deathbed and still be able to eat ice cream.
~Make facial expressions. My face talks more than I do. When Fred and I dated, he almost wrecked his truck because he was busy watching to see what facial expression I was going to make. dummy.
~I can have a tougher voice than a Drill Instructor. Comes from working with kids my whole life. Talk tough. Gets their attention.
~I can read like no body's business. I finished the new Harry Potter book in 6 hours. I speed read and it drives my husband nuts.

7 Things I Can't Do:
~ I can not understand the Navy/military. Don't think I ever will.
~ I can't turn a cartwheel. And I hate that. It's just a stupid fear of falling and breaking my neck that stops me.
~ I can't lose weight because I can't leave the durned ice cream alone!!
~ I can't go to bed early unless I'm completely exhausted. It's in my blood to stay up late...very late.
~I can't climb a ladder. Because it goes up high and Hope don't do high.
~I can't keep my house straight. Too many people-too little space. It may drive me insane.
~ I can't figure out how to make Paige happy. But I'm not giving up.

7 Things that Attract me to the Opposite Sex:
~Belief in God.
~Chemistry.
~ Height. Sorry, but I like tall
~ Sense of humor. Gotta have one to deal with me.
~ Hands.
~ Sense of responsibility. I'm in my 30's....that's very important to me.
~The ability to make me feel purty. Make a woman feel purty and guys...you got it made.

7 Things I say Most Often:
~ That is unacceptable. (Paige hates this with a passion!!)
~ If I have to count to THREE..that's it....it's on!!
~ONE
~TWO
~Vitt!!! Get out of the fridge/bathroom sink/dryer/tool drawer/your closet/( I think we get the picture here)
~ You have GOT to be kidding me.
~ Amen.

7 Celebrity Crushes: (ok, I know Fred's on this. Jerk)
~ Andre Agassi
~ Sam Elliott
~ Tom Hanks
~Robin Williams (can you just imagine how funny he would be??)
~Will Smith
~ Desperate Housewives Men Ensemble (aren't they simply JUICY????)
~ Fred ( I got a picture of him in the newspaper when he was kid....momentary fame...does that count??)

7 People I'd like to do This List:
this is tough because my reader list is very short. I will put some down and hope that they comply!
~Coley
~ Jacinda
~ Fred
~ Jody
~ Betsy
~ I must have seven and am out of names!! Must be the lateness of the hour that is stopping me.
~ Mar!!

So there you have it. Man, these things wear me out! Hope you enjoy!

Paige-isms...a deep thinker in progress....

I do not know if this is genetic or just being exposed to me. Maybe it's better if I don't know.

In Social Studies class this week.

The teacher is talking about how women were the first farmers. Ever. How they grew berries and how they provided for their families. I believe this is the caveman era that the teacher is referring to.

Paige raises her hand.

Teacher acknowledges Paige.

Paige says:

So women were the first farmers. Does this mean that the men with their big heads said to themselves: "If a woman can grow some berries, then I can grow a cow"... and then they go and bury a bone?

The teacher just put her face in her hands. Dare I say that she laughed?

I must be Insane

Ok. School is back in session and the Big Boy sits out there looking so lonely and forlorn. Between dance class and not being free until after 5 p.m., we don't get alot of time to go swimming except maybe the weekends. Big Daddy next door says it comes down after Labor Day and we are starting to panic. Heck, we know it'll start getting too cool to swim but it's just so dang cool to see that big pool sitting there. So, this morning I told SIL that we needed to hit the water this evening. She agreed. They drive up at 5:15 with suits on. We are finishing homework and getting ready to splash. Oh, the humidity. SIL says she is not swimming because she's a tad under the weather. No problem. I will take on lifeguard duty. As I am putting on my swimsuit, it starts to rain. Bah, rain. We're getting wet anyway, right? I get outside to see my SIL sitting under shelter with Vitt. I tell her if she wants to go next door to Mom's with Vitt, I'll watch the other four. We had a deal.

Rain is cold. I don't care if it's 100 degrees outside, rain can make you feel cold. So here I go running to the pool to get in. Ahhhhhh, nice and warm. Well, shoot. The rain came down even harder. If anyone has ever watched the Forrest Gump movie where he's in 'Nam and he talks about rain and how it was raining up? Yeah, that was us. It didn't bother those hardy kids at all. I finally got the pool lounger and turned it upside down for shelter. In water. Yeah, I'm serious. My nephew paddled over and decided it was better under there than out in the elements. I promise the temp dropped 15 degrees within minutes. And after about 20 minutes, the temp of the water was dropping too. I finally had to call a halt to the outdoor festivities. I was not the hero.

I had to be insane to think going in the pool while it was pouring down was a good idea.

Side note:
Paige has had really bad headaches the past week. I thought it was due to her not wearing her glasses while in class. Figured it out today. During the summer, she would drink a diet soda or two a day. She's not getting that now in school. My kid is having caffiene withdrawals. Go figure. I feel sorry for her because it's a pain to deal with, but that still doesn't mean she can set up the coffee maker so she can have a couple of cups in the morning before she goes to school. Hate it for you, sister.

Well, what to do???

I think my world as I know it right now is coming to an end. Seriously. Pretty heavy statement to open with, huh?

After alot of soul searching and discussion and probably ALOT more discussion...I think I'm going to pack my kids up and move to be with my husband when he changes bases next year. I simply cannot believe I am even entertaining the thought. One thing drives me. I miss him. We all miss him. This single parent deal I'm doing right now sucks. I know women do it everyday and they do a mighty fine job of it (shout out to Coley-gurl on that one!). But they have to. I believe that when you don't have a choice, you pull up your pants and dive headfirst into doing what needs to be done. We decided before we got married that we wouldn't move the girls away from all they know and the security of routine and family. We didn't know it would be this hard to be apart.

My son is growing and learning so much every single day and Fred is missing so much of it. This past weekend we went to Virginia and had the nicest hotel room to stay in. Plenty of room for the 5 of us. That boy went crazy! Climbing and jumping and trying to open the door to get out. My husband just looked at me .....my guess was in shock? I just shrugged and said he's like that every moment that he's awake. Kills me that I can tell Fred that every day we talk on the phone but he just doesn't get it until he sees it with his own two eyes. I even sent him a pix text today with the cell phone when Vitt climbed up into the bathroom sink in order to reach the toothbrushes and just sat right down in it. I still shake my head over that one.

I didn't want to even think we would be moving until I kinda sorta brought it up in casual conversation to Paige. You know her? That high strung, anxiety ridden, low self esteem, the-world-hates-me Kid? Well, pick me up off the ground and knock me down again. She wants to go. Is begging to go. DYING TO GO. Get the picture? She feels she is in need of a change of scenery and a new adventure. Excuse me? This isn't a trip to Disney World sweetheart. (Even though we would be just a few hours from there). She begs me everyday to tell her I've made up my mind and we're going to start packing...to move next summer.

Can I be selfish for a moment? Truly? This is all I've every known!! I've moved from here twice in my life and only around 30-40 miles away and never for too long. I have friends that love me in spite of my sarcasm and brutal honesty. My mom is freaking next door, man!! She cooks when I don't feel like it!! And it's good!! Her health isn't the best. I worry about her. I take her to the doctor. I finally talked about it with my two closest friends. LF (life friend) and Chelle. Chelle and LF are mere acquaintances. I depend on both for my sanity. LF started crying time as I started talking about it. Everyday she calls me and before we're off the phone she is crying. We went to Virginia this past weekend and I called her when we left to come home and she made the comment that I was only gone a weekend and it drove her crazy. Chelle postponed her wedding so I could give birth and be in it. She has been battling secondary infertility for 2.5 years and I have battled beside her. Cheering her on...researching....backing her up. She just had a breakthrough surgery last week that should open the doors (literally and figuratively) for her to get pregnant. She is quiet when I tell her and then says she can't be selfish. I get upset saying that she will now get pregnant and I won't be here for her!!!! Yes, I too, am being selfish.

I want to go. I want one kinda sorta adventure before I settle in one place for the rest of my life. It's only for 2 years....3 years max. Then I will be back home to raise my kids and hopefully grow old gracefully . I want to be with my husband.

I just want every freaking body to be happy and I just don't know how to do it.

A Glimmer of Light in the Dark

I haven't posted lately because...well, because I didn't feel like I had anything bright and good to post about. That is so wrong. There is always a bright spot here and there, you just have to look. I looked today and there were quite a few once I got to looking.

1. I went to the doctor today. I had to rush rush to get everyone ready and myself ready. I had to rush to get them to school and get the baby to my SIL's armed with sausage biscuits to share with everyone. On the lovely 32 mile drive it started to rain. And I don't mean little bitty baby drops. It was pouring as in "If you don't have an ARK, you are in trouble". Crap. I could visualize my trusty umbrella propped against the back door. ~sigh~ I hoped it would stop by the time I got there. No such luck. As I sat there with the rain coming down so hard I couldn't even see the car next to me, I looked up and said "Lord, if you're there. Wait, I know you're there. BUT, if you are so inclined to listen right now, I sure could use an umbrella." I half-heartedly got on one knee to look around my mini-van. I caught a glimpse of something underneath my seat. It was a compact umbrella.

2. I finally bit the bullet and went to get that thingy on my spine checked out. I had no excuse not to anymore. I ran all over that hospitol. I went to get my MRI and they took so long I missed my appointment. They called and the office said to still come. Put it this way. I did so much running that I almost just walked out the door and said hang it all. Finally, I saw the doc. He looked at my MRI and my x-ray and turned to smile. He said I was hands down the easiest patient he had today. Apparently that tumor thing is a small mass of blood vessels. We pretty much all have them. Some larger than others. My spine? Lovely. Perfectly straight. No sign of arthritis no where to be found. Now I'm a big girl and I practically preened when he said "That's the best looking spine I've seen on a 34 year old white woman in a long time." All my problems are muscular. Mostly due to that last pregnancy. He suggested physical therapy. HA HA HA HA HA. Sir, I have 3 children. He told me that should be therapy enough. I just about skipped out of his office.

3. I had to cut the grass this evening. I neglected it last week because I had a fit of rebellion and just didn't do it. Won't do that again. Alas, the lawn mower wouldn't work. I just wanted to cry with frustration because I needed to get it done. When my Dad got home from work, I told him the problem. He sighed and we started working. 30 minutes later my baby and I were cutting grass. Vitt LOVES to ride the lawn mower. He would ride with anyone who is sitting on one. Well, my lines on my lawn are crooked. Why? Because he kept leaning back and putting his face up with lips puckered. Now tell me, people, how could you resist that?? I didn't. So I was giving kisses to the sweetest little fellow and my lines are crooked. Maybe it'll start a trend?

4. Paige and I have been both pms'ing together and I really couldn't tell you how we've lived to tell about it. Elvis and his snarl have nothing on me and my kid. As I was cutting, I needed the van moved just a few feet. I paused to tell her to get the keys and move it. What??? Are you serious?? You would have thought I gave her front row seats to a Hillary Duff concert. It was only 15-20 feet, but she was completely smooth. I heard her holler and when I looked, she made the motion as to ask if she could maybe drive it around the yard. Uh...NO. I made the throat slicing motion and she snarled. I was a hero for five minutes and it felt good.

5. My husband was taken to the ER yesterday with chest pains. I found out about it when he was back in the barracks and feeling no pain due to morphine. Chest tests came back all negative and he will do more within the next week or two. I was upset. Worried. Mad that he didn't call me when he first went. But you know what? He's ok. And the children and I are packing a bag and driving to see him tomorrow for the weekend. Do I want to drive? No. Will I? Yes. He is ok. My eyes have to verify this fact.

6. Makenna has informed me many times this week that homework bites. This sweet easygoing child is going to be the one to drive me crazy with homework. She did tell me that if it made me happy, she would give it a try...but it still bites. I put her hair in ponytails this morning and she swished her head back and forth to get the full effect while looking in the mirror. Obviously the look agreed with her and she turned to give me a big hug and an "I love you, Mommy! You made me cute!" Kiss my butt, I'm going to take full responsibility for that kid being cute.

7. On the way home there was a caravan of sorts. Huge HUGE trucks carrying tractors. One veered into my lane but whipped it back in the nick of time. I've heard that we're all assigned guardian angels to watch over us. Glad mine was on her/his toes and doing a good job.

I challenge you to find a glimmer of light. I know when I feel like I'm at the lowest I can get, God seems to fill my world with lightning bugs. Little glimmer of lights to help me find my way.

Friday Night

"Want to watch David Letterman's monologue before we go to bed?" my husband asked.

"Sure," I replied.

Then the phone rang. Folks you only get two kinds of news that late at night..close to midnight. There's trouble or someone has given birth and no one I knew was in labor at that time. I answered the phone when the caller i.d. showed my Life Friend (remember her from previous blog entry?) I get this....

"Call the law." (sobbing) "He's gone crazy" (Hearing loud hollering in background...crashing...profanity.)

"What???" is all I can think to say.

Phone hangs up.

I call back frantically. I just know he's done something so badly she can't get the phone. She answers with a whisper. I hear her child crying and it's so close that I know the child is being held in her lap. "What is going on???" I say..and loudly.

"He lost it. I don't know. He pushed me. Child saw it all. He's going to do something bad." I hear him in the background asking if she's on the phone and what could happen if she is. I tell her to NOT hang up and put the phone beside her so I can hear what's going on. I put my phone on speaker phone so Fred can hear what I'm hearing. All of a sudden I hear her cry "Please don't, X!! Please don't!! Child is right here! Please don't!!!" Phone hangs up.

Folks, I froze. It was like a bad accident. You know you should be doing something but you can't wrap your mind around what you've seen or heard. I unfreeze long enough to call a mutual friend. Her hubby answers the phone. I tell him that X is beating the crap out of Friend and someone needs to get over there NOW!!! Hubby tells Mutual Friend and she calls back. Her hubby won't go over there. I don't blame him. Fred won't let me go and I know X is beyond drunk and I would fear for my own self if I was stupid enough to go in. In the meantime I have called back and she is on my phone (speakerphone on) so that M.F. (mutual friend) can hear through the cell phone what is going on. She borrows another cell phone and calls 9-1-1. Why didn't I call??? I DON'T KNOW. All I could think was that that baby needed to get out of there and I couldn't go help. Those five minutes were some of the most confusing of my life! Friend tells me that she called 9-1-1 also and didn't say anything. She is whispering to me because the phone is beside her and X doesn't know she's on the phone. 9-1-1 calls her back and I tell her stay on the phone with one of us. I was a shaking mess. Finally after 50 years...more like 20 minutes...she comes on the line to let me know the law was there and he was handcuffed and put in the patrol car.

"Do you need me?" I ask.

"No, I'm fine"..she starts sobbing. I am on the cell phone with Mutual Friend. At the same time we both said...."I'll meet you there."

I hang up the phone and start to dress. Never looked at Fred or said anything. My pure focus was on getting to my friend...to that baby. I come back to him sitting on the couch and start apologizing. Our time is so limited and here I am running off at 1 a.m. to the aid of someone else. He simply looks at me and says..."She needs you. You have to go. Just take your cell. " I loved him so much at that moment.

The whole way over there I mutter and fuss to myself. It's only a few miles but it felt like I was driving across country. I assumed that they had taken X and was gone. I pull in the yard and there are two patrol cars...with X locked up in the back of one. I don't even look his way. I can't. I am shaking. I go in the house and the officer is taking the report. I don't say a word but go straight to the baby who is clinging to mom's shirt. It was like the child had taken a bath in fear. I take Child gently away so Mommy can talk to the nice officer. Child starts sobbing. I croon and hold and say nonsense things. Child tells me they need to be with Mommy. They have to take care of Mommy. I told Child that they had done a wonderful job and that Aunty Hope was going to take care of Mommy for a while. Child consented to sit on couch with blankie and puppy and rest. I go back to Friend to hear her tell of what happened. Officer is nice and very compassionate. Apparently X thought of fighting officers when they came in. Mistake. BIG mistake. He changed his mind quick-like and went peaceably.

I start looking around. Oh my. The recliner is overturned. The dressers in the bedroom have been ripped out and clothes are strung everywhere. Then glory be! There's a huge hole the size of an elephant's fist in the wall beside my head. Mutual Friend turns up and the officer wraps things up. Says he's going to get his camera to take pictures of house. Dude came back in with some cheesy butt instant polaroid camera. I raise an eyebrow. When he finally leaves and Friend has much deserved breakdown, I ask for her digi cam. When in hand, I start taking my own set of pictures. It's good to have backup in this world. Besides, digital showed the broken bedroom door better...the color in the clothes strung everywhere...the hugeness of the hole in the wall.

I made it home around 3:30 a.m. Exhausted. Mentally. The house was straightened...Child put to bed. Friend hanging in there.

Now I have to say this. On the way over there I was thinking....Be a little bit more redneck, would ya, bud? Oh, I was pissed. Then after I left and was driving home I realized something. This happens every day of the week. Women are abused...children are witnesses. And people..it doesn't just happen to the regular folk. It's every where!!! There are lawyers, doctors, professors, brokers, CEOs that come home...drink too much...and just freaking flip out. I exclaimed while over at Friend's that I was too old for this crap. Then I realize...there are women who deal with this until they die in their 70's,80's ..or until hubby dies first. I can't fathom it. I really can't. I had a bad relationship one time...way back in my misguided youth that ended with a call for domestic violence. Never again.

I am still upset because she wants to drop the charges. When she went for the bail hearing...the judge said no contact whatsoever until court date. She can't go that long without contact. There are bills to pay. Why don't the courts think of this??? You tell the couple no contact and then how is she supposed to pay the bills???? I don't think she would lose the house or car in 5 weeks, but we all realize how far behind a person can get if they miss one payment. I am just seething about the system and how it "protects" the victim....just doesn't care if they lose everything they own in the process.

No Fear

This has been a weekend. I want to post about it in greater detail but must first collect my thoughts better than what they are now. Instead, I will tell you about the first day back at school.

Notice the title of my post. No Fear. My girls are fearless thus far in this world. We picked out "THE" outfit last night so it could be ironed and just right.(that's a joke- I didn't want to run around like a froot loop chicken this morning) Makenna wore her new beach pants. They are pastel striped and adorable. Really popular pants this close to the beach. A matching pink tank top type shirt completed it with Rainbow sandals. She was pleased with the look and I breathed a sigh of relief. One down..one to go. Paige and I discussed what was going to look seriously cute and we came up with a green Tommy shirt with white piping and writing and white bermuda shorts. Nice. Neat and, in her defination..cool. Sweet..we're cooking with gas here, folks. And yes, I took pictures this morning. Thought the battery was going to die on the digi cam and I was going to have to draw them free hand on printer paper but I got some doable takes. (no, I cannot draw, that's why I almost panicked when it looked like the battery was puttering out)

Back packs were done by last Thursday and I believe Paige repacked hers a couple dozen times. Drove me insane! Makenna? That sister got all her stuff jammed inside and never opened it again until she got to school this morning. Yeah, that's my kid.

Off we went this morning. I dropped Paige off first because I wanted to walk Mak in at her school. We pull up in line at the Middle school and Paige is smooth. I ask her if she's nervous. I get the "Are you serious?" look again. "Uh...Mom...I'm a sophomore this year...I'm set". Yeah, ok, baby. I did get a kiss and a "I love you" when she got out and there she went. Swinging that messenger bag like nobody's business...already calling out to a friend. She never looked back. No Fear.

Here we go to the Elementary school. I park the van and get out to get Vitt out of his seat behind mine. Already I have friends calling out to me as they walk back to their cars after delivering their own children. Have I mentioned that I love a small town?? It so rocks. We walk in and I look beside me at this child who has her head held high..big grin on her face. We get to the classroom and her teacher comes and greets me with a hug. Explanation. Paige had this same teacher in 1st grade. I didn't request this, but believe it's awesome that Mak got her too. At that time, I was going through a bad separation and divorce and this teacher was the best thing ever to happen to Paige. We greeted each other this morning with a hug...so happy to share another year together. And Mak? She walks in..does her thing and sits right down. Excuse me? Don't I get a kiss? A hug? (Insert eye rolling and a quick jump up to comply). Time for me to go. I get to the door and take one quick look back. She is already turned and chatting with the kid behind her. She doesn't even know I'm gone. No Fear.

We get home and I do what I promised myself I would do. I got a cup of coffee and turned on Good Morning America. Oh no...Peter Jennings died last night. What a great loss. He was probably the only one I could stomach for the most part.

Little Man (aka Vitt) is in heaven. He has the joint all to himself and he intends to make the most of it. He comes back and forth to get HUGE bites of the banana I am holding out for him. I get engrossed in the t.v. and look just in time. Vitt has climbed on the back of the computer chair..til his upper torso is hanging over the back. He is grinning and calling "Mama!!". Just as the chair starts to tilt over, I jump up...catch it and Him before it crashes to the floor. He laughs great big belly laughs. No Fear.

I'm glad we are raising kids that have no fear. Now it's time to teach them the difference between no fear and stupidity. There's such a fine line between the two. I admit to having a hard time telling the difference sometimes. The thing is, I don't know which one to start with?

A Makenna Quote....

A classic Makenna quote:

"My head hurts........and I'm not even thinking!!"

amen, baby. I feel your pain.

Another quote:

"This back pack isn't going to match all my clothes."

she's such a fashion diva.

Back in High School ...part 2...

Back in High School I thought I was fat.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Back In High School.....

Back in high school the group of us would sit and day dream about how our lives would turn out. Everyone agreed on this prophecy for me:

Hope will end up living in an apartment because it's low maintenance. She will have the most awesome career ever. She will wear the coolest clothes and when she greets you at the door, it will be with a glass of wine in her hand. They all declared that I would be totally sophisticated.

Dear Joseph and the shepherds. Can I get some monetary compensation for them being so wrong? I live in a home...am a SAHM.....of 3 kids. I have to do everything maintenance wise because...well, I'm the only one who will do it around here. I am involved with the Girl Scouts and am in my 8th year of taking to and from dance classes. What happened?

Oh. And I couldn't tell you what a good wine is to save my life.

It's that time again...well, almost

It's countdown time!! School starts in a week..August 8 to be exact and we are almost ready for lift off! Clothes are pretty much bought and have been laid out and put together to form at least SIX combinations for the first day. Have you any idea how important it is to be PERFECT the first day of sixth grade???? I didn't think so. I finally realized that even though I have been asked my opinion when a combination was formed.....she really didn't want my .02. ouch. I gave up and told her she was on her own. First grade? We're cool. We got new sneakers and a blue jean miniskirt. Life can't get any finer, people. That kid is sooo smooth.

I refuse to think about the time I will have when school starts back. Even though practically every afternoon after school is taken with one activity or another....those 6 sweet hours with only the little one around? ahhhhhhhh......can you say "I believe I will have another cup of coffee and watch Good Morning America a little more"?? I have not seen that show all summer long. Before I can get my feet on the floor that 6 year old of mine has propped herself up quite nicely on the couch with remote in hand and Disney and Nickelodeon is going full blast.

I realize that mostly all I write about is my kids. I guess that goes with the territory of being a Stay At Home Mom. The kids are our lives. And, yes, I chose it to be that way. It's my career choice at the moment. One thing that alot of people don't realize is that kids are funny. My kids are a major reason as to why my weak bladder won't ever have a chance at recovery. I have a friend who after giving birth twice had such a nonreliable bladder, she was buying stock in Depends. We were sitting around talking one day whilst the kiddies played and she said ..."Ya know, I got money saved up for a patio. I've wanted one for so long and finally decided to save the money for it. Now I got crappy insurance because I'm self employed. The choice came down to....Patio or Bladder Tack" We were sitting on the sweetest looking patio ever at the time. At her house. Go figure. That's ok Ms. H....Walmart has Depends every day of the week.

I fear that I bore the scant few that visit my site. I know they visit because they are friends and we like to support each other in the adventure of blogging and then my husband visits just to be nosy. He won't even leave a comment! How sorry is that?

Just a note here. We went shopping this weekend at the beach for the school clothes. For those who don't live near some Factory Outlet Stores. ...well, I am just so sorry. I ventured into the Tommy Hil. store. Was sure I wasn't going to buy anything. Dear Mercy. I got 2 pair of jeans for Makenna and two shirts for Paige for 50 bucks. I will go back. Anyway...(sidetracked again) my friends went along with me, SIL, my two girls and her daughter. We had an incredible girls' day out. We did lunch, had crappy service, and got our appetizers and tea free! Nice. As I was sitting on a bench outside of a store I saw something very interesting. There was a group of teens sitting down not far from me. They were surrounded by shopping bags. And, folks, I mean surrounded. They were taking some stuff out to show a compadre their new duds. My eyes narrowed as I watched them. I will bet you a hundred dollars those kids' parents gave them the plastic and said...go get what you need. My kids will never know that pleasure. Hate it for them.

Just for the record also. LOVING Rock Star INXS. I admit to going online and voting and reading the rockers' blogs. Semi-enjoying Big Brother 6. Watching Brat Camp and realizing that I probably could never send my kid there. Why? Folks, that a whoooole 'nother post. Might have to get into it one day soon. Waiting impatiently for Lost and Survivor to start up again. I'm almost through with the withdrawals from not seeing a new episode of Lost.

Last but not least.....in one week I will have the pure pleasure of NOT hearing any kiddie shows unless I need a diversion for the baby. I shiver in anticipation.

In Case I have O-ffended Anyone.

I realized I might have offended some people with my last post. If I didn't, disregard this, please.

About Rednecks. Some people are offended when called this particular term. Some embrace it and even wear the tshirt to prove it. My Life Friend ( I call her this because we have been friends since we were 7 years old. She no longer qualifies for title Best Friend because we have so much history ..good and bad...between us, that we know that we can count on each other no matter what and we will always have each other's back) and I were talking the other day and she told me about her weekend. She went to this little honkey-tonk bar last weekend and proceeded to get in a fight while there. Tsk tsk. I asked her if it felt good to go "redneck". Another friend was present and seemed puzzled. I proceeded to tell her my redneck theory. You see, we all have redneck in us. Every single person born on this planet. Some of us may be able to suppress it and never let it surface. Others let it surface one time and like it so good...they never put it back inside. There are different things that can set the redneck out in a person. It could have been when that chick was talking to your boyfriend back in high school and you KNOW you wanted to kick her butt. You might have given in to the urge...you might not have. It could be that turkey driving in front of you that cut you off and you thought some not so nice thoughts about. It could be something as simple as a telemarketer that calls at a very inopportune (man, I hope that's spelled right) time. Have I ever gone redneck?? But, of course. I can give you one example that comes to mind right away.

Back in my youth....I'd say around age 19.....we (we-being a big group of people that all hung around together) used to sneak off to this little hole in the wall bar. Notice a trend here? Bars'll do it everytime. My best friend at the time was dating this guy. Me? I just went to party, friends. So there we were, having a high ol' time. Some lite-brite (notice- this is sarcasm at its highest) decided to bring some friends from college...fresh meat. Now, I attended this college (which is now a University) and knew these people. I just didn't think it was the brightest idea to bring new girls into the mix. So, this gal decides that my friend's man looks mighty tasty. She flirts. And flirts. We are slightly tolerant because we've had a few and he appeared to be ignoring her for the most part. Fast forward to the dance floor and dance classic "You Dropped the Bomb on Me" as loud as it can be. Said New Girl decides to ask Best Friend's man to dance. Remember Dirty Dancing? Yeah, it wasn't good, folks. Best Friend is over to the side and as I stand and watch (realize I had no forewarning of this....), Best Friend biddy-bops on over to New Girl and taps her on the shoulder. She grins and motions for New Girl to follow her to the edge of the dance floor. New Girl complies. By the time they reach the edge of the dance floor.....Best Friend turns around and SOCKS New Girl with a left hook. I start going towards them. New Girl (who really shocked us with this because she appeared so 'high society') breaks beer bottle on edge of table and starts for Best Friend. I manage to grab New Girls long beautiful locks of hair and wrap it around my hand. Next thing I know, 3 guys are pulling me away and Best Friend and New Girl are going at it. Now that wasn't fair, was it? Fast Forward again 30 minutes and we're outside. Totally mad...ok pissed. Drinking again. New Girl is in bathroom being petted. Boyfriend is staying out of it. All the girls are outside that matter. I could name names now but we're all contributing members of society now and it wouldn't look good if anyone got a hold of this. Call me if you really want to know who this was. heh heh. One Nameless Friend comes up with a brilliant idea. Since New Girl is not welcome and Boyfriend didn't act as he should...it seemed reasonable that they both pay. So we let all the air out of their tires. Yep all of them. Do you know how loud that is??????? We all go home shortly thereafter. Boyfriend rides with Best Friend. We care not where New Girl is. We find out the next day that Boyfriend's buddy and New Girl both drove their cars. A good distance. They were too buzzed to realize they had flat tires. All 8 had to be replaced. They were cut beyond repair. Oops. We are all hanging out again the next night and Boyfriend and Co. are completely over the edge angry. They insist on knowing who did such a foul thing. We still carry the secret to this day. We went redneck, folks.

So redneck is not a derogatory term. No, not at all. We all have moments in our lives. Why, when I have to deal with my ex-husband....I see red on a regular basis. He makes me want whup on his butt bigtime. I'm sure there are those of you who can understand.

So if I offended anyone, I apologize. But, now you know it was said in love and respect. I love a redneck better than the next person. I tell you what....they're the best thing to have in your back pocket in a crisis.

Just so you know. I don't do that stuff anymore. I don't drink. I don't visit bars....

I just think really bad thoughts I repent for later.

It is Official Folks.....

I have stated this at least twice out loud today.

If Hell is hotter than where I am, then I want no part of it.

Nuff said on that.

Ahhhh summertime. Lovely time of year. Time for sandals and cute skirts. Time for peach lip gloss and ponytails. HUMPH. It's a time for you to wear your Rainbow flip flops (and then your feet STILL sweat and slide around in the said flops- causing you to walk around with a perpetual sprained ankle) because you simply can't bear to wear more than you have to....anywhere. And you want to live in the Big Boy because it's too miserable to just sit around outside, so the idea of a refreshing pool seems to be a good idea? Ponytails? HA. This kind of weather causes you to do like me...go cut your hair off and when you get out of the Big Boy, you just put a visor on and deal with it. The thought of a hair dryer makes you whimper. And makeup? Of any kind? You have GOT to be kidding me. It's like turning the heat on full blast in a wax museuum. Bad idea, people. Bad idea.

We all ran to the sweet clear water of the Big Boy yesterday. Even my mom and dad got in- it has been that hot. They never get in but on Saturdays mostly. So, the adults are sitting around the edges whilst the kiddies play in the middle when I take note of just how hot the water is. I comment..."This is the biggest durned hot tub I ever did see". Funny...everyone else was thinking the same exact thing.

Other than that, the summer is moving along. Paige is wearing her cast out. Literally. That kid is a marvel. I've let her take another round of swim lessons this week. Hey, the doctor said she could swim and shower. Go for it, sister. I sincerely didn't realize that the fiberglass covering (which is black with pink stripes, btw) would actually fade! It seriously is. The heel is mushy and slightly cracked. Mr. Cast Guy said this would be normal with a walking cast. Uh...ok. She showed how shabby her cast was becoming today and I begged her.....Pleeeeeease, make it last one more week. You only have one more week. We will get in trouble with Mr. Cast Guy if we go begging for another one. You know they might cut you off and not give you another water cast. Ok? Ok????? She agreed. Her foot is still immobile and I'm holding on to that fact. *still crossing fingers we won't get in trouble next week when she goes to see if she can be freed from the blasted thing*

Went to see Herbie Fully Loaded last week. Kids loved it. I had a problem with it. And I discussed this with my hubby. See....this car was able to race in a Nascar race. Are you kidding me? Dear Sweet Man of mine is a fan of the race and being so has made me spend many a Sunday afternoon with engines droning in the background of my dreams as I take my Sunday nap. Of course no one can sleep through a whole race because they drive 254,876,496 miles per race (and when and where do they pee??? I need to know this). I will ask questions upon awakening. I need to know how Dale Jr. is doing since that is who we pull for. And my hubby..being the anal being that he is...will explain EVERYTHING in great detail so you feel as if you have attended class. I promise it will leaving you wondering "When did I pay tuition? What was my question again?" ANYWAY......of course Herbie goes on to win the race. I'm sure I'm not giving anything away when I say this either. He then proceeds to do do-nuts in the infield (where were the campers, people? And the rednecks? See? This was NOT a bona fide Nascar race.) My six year old then proceeds to shout out...in the theater....."DO-NUTS!!!!!!! WOO HOOO". I kid you not. She enjoyed the movie.

I may have to drive to Virginia next weekend. With 3 kids. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. Again.

Fred is holding Harry Potter hostage. No, not really. He got the book from the exchange and will be bringing it to us this coming weekend. I am so ready to get lost in Hogwarts again. Paige and I are at war over who is going to read it first. Please. I am bigger. I am meaner. I am older. I will win. The book is mine. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. She is not happy. I must admit though. We were in town yesterday and it took all I had NOT to swing into the Books a Million parking lot and go in and buy one. My patience is running low.

So it is official:
~ The cast may or may not make it another week.
~ My 6 year old watches too much Nascar.
~ I will read Harry in less than 3 days.
~ I don't want to go to Hell. Me and heat don't mix well.

I Pledge Allegiance

Did I spell that word right? Where is spellcheck on this thing!

My new method of discipline. My oldest child..yes, the one in counselling...has the meanest sounding voice. It just oozes nastiness and folks, I'm tired of it. It's just not acceptable. This past Friday found my knot unraveling(sp?) and I was about to be thrown completely over the edge. Fred wasn't home and I wasn't happy. I haven't had a break in weeks and it's starting to show. Anyway, I digress. Paige's voice was just too much. I told her to stop what she was doing and stand straight and tall. I got the "Are you for real?" look. I told her to put her hand over her heart. Again.."You feeling ok, mom?" look. I told her to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Now we get...."Are you freaking kidding me???" look. I assure her that I am indeed serious. Now, she's pissed. She recites the Pledge through gritted teeth...spitting the whole time. She finishes. I tell her...do it again. The more she said it, the better her voice got. After the sixth time, I told her that was the nicest tone of voice and to please keep that tone in order not to have to recite again. By golly, it worked...for a day. Next day we (Dad, Paige and myself) are outside cleaning vehicles. I simply can't stand a nasty vehicle and my husband's car is held together by dirt. If he were to wash it, it would simply fall apart from shock! So, we're outside working and we are hurrying because a cloud is coming and we want to be done. I tell her to hurry cleaning out our van so we can wash it. She starts to holler at me. Right then and there I make her stop and recite the Pledge. My dad says not a word. She almost refuses. Staring down the nozzle of the water hose changed her mind. I got a sincere compliment from my Dad. He told me that was a fine way of punishing while teaching at the same time. Huh. Go figure.

We had a "swimming in rose petals" day today. Yes, that was sarcastic. Put it this way...Paige wrote a lovely 1000 word essay titled "Why I am so Upset". Man, her dad has done a number on this child with the vacation deal. Hope he's having a lovely time down at the beach ..he should...he hasn't paid the child support yet. Want to know the crazy thing? She actually enjoyed writing that stupid paper! She is SO my child!

Am supposed to go to the neuro tomorrow. Going to reschedule again. No babysitter for Vitt. Fine by me...the thought of it scares me to death.

Can someone tell me how it feels to have a moment to yourself? I'm just curious...doesn't appear that I'm going to get one anytime soon.......

I spoke too soon....

I knew I spoke too soon. Oh, how much has happened since we last met. Where, oh where, do I start?

Paige broke her foot last week. Oh, yes she did. We were visiting my grandmother as it was raining outside(so no swimming). Paige was bored. And that was probably because all the attention wasn't on her. She asked to go outside. I said no because she needs to learn how to sit and visit...especially with elderly. As soon as I got involved in a conversation with my grandmother and aunt...she and Makenna sneak outside. Not even 3 minutes later, Makenna is back in screaming that Sissy broke her foot. Apparently they decided to jump off of the porch. No reason. Just being kids. Remember I said it was raining? Uh huh..it was wet....and slippery. She landed wrong. I won't lie. I proceeded to fuss at her. She could move her toes and ankle so I asuumed it was a sprain. I bring her home, elevate it, give her Motrin and think it'll be ok in a day or two. She can't walk. I assume...again...she's in drama queen mode. Next day it's swollen and I get to thinking. Maybe...just maybe...it wouldn't hurt to take her in and get checked out by a professional who has attended school for such instances as this. I call and consult with her dad (have I mentioned he works for EMS?). He is of the mindset that it is sprained also. I agree but insist that I'm going to take her in to be seen...just for peace of mind. We go. X-ray is taken. She's got two broken bones on the top. Well, glory be. (insert two shocked faces here) We are headed to a specialist the next morning first thing because a bone is displaced. Oh, dear Lord. They have me prepared for sugery....6-8 weeks on crutches...and a totally altered summer way of living. This kid caught a break..no pun intended. We (and I saw we because I'm in this for the long haul) got the best deal going. She gets the cast for 4 weeks...no surgery....AND..get this!!..AND a WATER WALKING cast. Yes, you read it right! A walking cast that can go in water. Some new fangled NASA technology I'm sure but she can bathe AND swim in this bad boy. It cost extra since insurance doesn't have a price for a parent's peace of mind but I did not care. I told Mr. Cast Man to set it up right. So, she is now sporting a hot pink with a neon green barberpole stripe cast. And it is cool. She is independant again.

Want to hear the crap part of it? The girls were set to go with Dad and his family on vacation to lovely Hilton Head next week for the entire week. Don't let the name fool you. He wouldn't ever be able to go to a place like that if it wasn't for his mother-in-law having a time share there...free-loading jerk. ANYWAY, he has decided that Paige can't go. Why ever not? Because of medical reasons. I simply can't go into all the detail now because I will lose religion completely and starting spouting off names that I've promised not to say again. But that's ok...because he wants to take Makenna. Leave Paige but take Makenna. I don't think so. It's a all or nothing package deal. I won't have Paige suffer the break...the dissing of not getting to go on the trip AND her little sister coming back and talking of nothing but the good time she had. Just can't do it people. And I didn't make this decision hastily. I consulted with Paige's counsellor and a lawyer. I feel justified in making this decision. Now he has threatened to take me back to court. YES!!! Let's go, Man!!! I'll get the 3 years you owe in medical bills and a few other things you are in contempt of court over. ahhhhhh..don't let me fool you. I hate the thought of going back but if I gotta go...You can be dang sure there will be a nice tidy little row of ducks following behind me. I'm lining those babies up as we speak. I'll keep you posted as to what happens. I know a little bit of money surely would help out with school clothes real soon. hmmmmmmm.......

Fred's not coming home this weekend. I so hate that. Really really really hate that. He's staying to study for some of the Navy blah blah blah I've mentioned. Humph. I won't start on all of that because it just doesn't matter what I think. I might realize that sooner or later, but I doubt it. I just seriously can't imagine why everyone doesn't want to know what I think?? I may piss and moan but the man (that being my Fred) knows that I love him and have no intentions of stopping and that I will eventually get over it. All I gotta say is that if he goes to Italy on a tour...Mama better get a REAL nice goody box sent home.

I will try to post more regularly but I gotta catch a break around here! Paige broke her foot...Vitt stepped into a fire ant bed and got over 60 something bites on his foot. Come on people!! A friend of mine stated it so eloquently when we were speaking via yahoo the other night. She has 5 kids so we can relate somewhat. She said...the more kids you have, the more you up your chances of someone being sick or hurt. She's so smart. Her odds aren't so good right now..she's got 2 that are sick. Bless you Ms J!!

I am off to bed now. Paige and I are up and out early tomorrow morning. We're going to get her cast checked out because she has a soft spot on her heel and apparently that's not supposed to happen. She's already decided that if she gets a new cast...it's going to be black with a hot pink stripe. BTW..she's still doing really well. I thought this deal with her dad would send her over the edge but she's hanging in there. I took her face in my hands and looked her in the eye and told her...I would never EVER leave you behind. I promise. Do you believe me? She said yes ma'am. Times like this makes me wish I were a queen. I'd lock his sorry tail up in a dark dark dark dungeon on the back end of the country naked in the dead of winter. I really would.

Til we meet again.............

Diets, Pizza, and Rain

My, how time flies. This summer is flying by on wings that never rest. We all have the lovely pre-cancerous glow that has found it's way past high SPF sunscreen. All you see from the 2 youngest in this house as they streak through is incredibly white tushies attached to lovely brown limbs. For the first time in years, I'm not ashamed to wear shorts! Believe that.

My self imposed diet has faded into nothingness. ~sigh~ When am I ever going to get my act together and get some of this off of me? I know it can be done but the thought of losing 100 lbs again just makes me weary. I am 8 years older with 2 more children. I still await that magic pill that can erase all this damage done by my emotional eating. This all weighs (no pun intended) on me as I broke down and ate the two leftover pizza slices a little while ago. I did better eating when pregnant last time than I'm doing now. argh.

I am excited to say that my friend Ms. M's hubby is coming home from Iraq this week for his 2-week leave. I am freaking giddy for her. She hasn't seen said hubby for almost a year and is beside herself in anticipation. Who can blame her??? She is polishing toes and furniture, getting the yards in order, and getting nervous when she pauses to think about seeing him Tuesday. It makes me want to cry because she has been on her own with 2 young kids for a while now. She's gone through a health scare or two, not to mention Christmas without him. We spoke after her health scare and she was laughing as she told the story (understand that it was NOT funny as it happened). She was in the Dr.'s office telling them to goto Iraq and get her husband right then!! Thankfully, that has passed and she's superfine now (super is my neice's new word and I think it's cool). Ms. O is Ms. M's daughter and she is coming over tomorrow to play with my Makenna. Ms. O doesn't know Daddy is coming home this week. All she knows is that it's now really really really soon. Mom is going to bring home a surprise for Ms. O and her sister Ms. S Wednesday morning. Oh, how I would love to be a fly on the wall because Ms. O is the epitome of Daddy's Girl and will simply be over the moon when she sees her hero walk in. I cry now just thinking about it.

So I plan a FUNFILLEDPICNICSWIMALLDAY Day for tomorrow. Ms. O and Ms G (another close friend who makes it a lovely trio) are planning to come over and swim all day in the Big Boy.....picnic at the outside table....play in the sand box and generally just get worn out. It is supposed to rain. Dangit. Go to Plan B. It will be a MOVIEFESTPLAYDRESSUPEATALLTHEJUNKYOUCAN Day. Always have a backup people. We are going to make rice krispy treats and veg out in front of the t.v. with all our favorite animated characters. The Olsen Twins might make an appearance...not sure yet. So Monday will be Monday. We are prepared either way!!

My dear sweet hubby came home this weekend after being gone for 2 weeks. I must've called him a dozen times Friday as he did his 6 hour drive home. I think at the time I thought that if I called him, it would get him here faster. I got butterflies because I was just so excited to see him and couldn't wait. I sang the "Daddy's coming home" song to Vitt over and over until I'm sure he was sick of it. And it was good. We went nowhere but to church today but it was good. I need more time with him and I'm not going to get it anytime soon. From what he's told me, he's going to be even more scarce. Some Navy blah blah blah he has to do come August. Can't a gal catch a break? This too shall pass and he'll be one more day closer to retirement. I can say that at this moment because I don't miss him yet as he just left this evening. I'm sure I will have plenty to say about it later..........

Btw...the intense counselling is working wonders! I have a semi-normal kid on my hands and I'm loving it! I'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop and the sullen, unhappy, goth-acting pre-teen to emerge again. Raising tweens nowadays sucks!! Hard work, people, trust me.

Til later my friends............

I do believe we've struck gold

Yes, we've struck gold, friends. I'm so freaking worn out from this pool, it's not even funny. It took almost 5 days to get Big Boy completely filled. I went on a frenzy last Friday and off I went to Lowe's. I bought a picnic table...sand for the sand box, tiki torches. Dang, I bought so much stuff, I have NO clue what is really out there. We spent Friday evening getting chemicals right and the pump running. We were all shaking in anticipation for Saturday! Saturday I have my son, neice, and nephew (girls were at their dad's house fri-sat). Have I told you how much I hate being outside? I am truly not an outdoorsy type person. It seriously just isn't my thing. humph. I spent from 9 a.m. Saturday to 10:00 p.m. that night outside. No lie. The three kids went next door to Nana's for a nap and still I toiled outside. I stained the lovely picnic table and would just have to stop and envision all the good times. I got fried. sigh. I was so careful with the kids..slathering them down with high SPF sunscreen so they wouldn't burn and here I was...with a lovely pre-cancerous glow about me. I just forgot to cover myself. We have already gotten our money' worth out that pool. Today found us out there from 10:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. There were 8 kids ranging in ages: 1,2,3,5,6,6,6,11. My fellow amigo (SIL) and I pulled tag team duties. The babies wouldn't stay in for long and so one would get out with them whilst they played in the sand box and teeny tot pool and the other would get to cool it in the pool with the rest of the crew. It was a wonderful situation. And guess what. I got fried. Again. DANGIT. I promise I put on sunscreen at least 3 times!!! and it was SPF 40 or 45. I just can't believe this. I am so glowing this evening and can just feel those skin cancer cells growing. I'm already paranoid about all the tanning I've done as a teen and 20 something. Now I'm 34 and just as bad as I was at age 15. No wait. I used sunscreen and not Hawaiian Tropic TANNING OIL. omg....can you believe we put that stuff on our bodies?? Especially those of us who are "Original White Girls"???? Sure, I would end up with a tan...eventually. sigh ...again.

Anyway, we are loving summer and the kids are passing out when they hit air conditioned doorways. My SIL ( who lives down the road a small piece) said my nephew was asleep before they pulled out of the driveway to go home. She sits him inside the doorway so that she could return to the vehicle to retrieve another child. She told him....take off your suit and put on a pull-up and go lie down. He takes off his suit where he stands and falls to the floor....naked....asleep. Same with my neice. She managed to get on a pair of panties before falling out in deep sleep. That's what I'm talking about. Keep them busy...keep them active...make them sleep! Now I need to get that to work at my house.

My father accepted his wild print shorts with dignity and wore them with pride and very white legs!! I have not seen the man in shorts in 20 years but wear them he did and in the pool he went. It was only one time, but I feel sure there will be more.

My son no longer looks related to me. His tiny bit of Mexican and Mayan blood is coming through and he is so dark and handsome I am in awe. And this happened with a SPF of 50!!! I will have to beat the girls off with a cattle prod when he is a teenager. Girls do go silly over a good tan.

And I hope all this paddling around will tone something I own and/or move an inch or two or I will be pissed. Tanned, but pissed.

A Pool...Issues...and Hawaiian Trunks

It is done. My brother, his wife, my parents, and my family are the proud owners of a pool! And this sucker is huge. After long debate and discussion it was decided that the purchase of one might help us maintain a grip on our sanity considering we have 5 kids. We talked about the 3.5 ft. compared to the 4.0 ft. It was determined that we would get the 3.5 ft. due to the small stature of 3 of the 5 kids. Well, suffice it to say, I got to Walmart and just couldn't pass up the 18 ft circumference of the 4 ft. one. We are big people! Well, I am and my hubby ain't no little boy. (have I told you he's tall, dark and handsome? I am so lucky!) My SIL loves the fact that I caved and the Big Boy. We had a fun time tonight getting it started. Mr. Anal Man aka My Dad...what are we going to do with him? He is hating this pool idea and grumbles the whole time we are setting it up. Excuse me? Is that my Dad out there on his hands and knees with a level? Is that my Dad out there making us move the tarp/ground cover 4 inches this way and 2 inches that way? humph. He complains about putting up with women (that would be me, Mama, and Des) I tell him there are men out there tonight that would kill to be in his shoes. He rolls his eyes. Did I mention the psycho kids running around ready to strip naked and swim?? Such sweet babies. It just couldn't sink in that it will be 3-5 days before we can even think of swimming because it will take that long to fill The Big Boy due to the fact we have an inground well and my father is convinced we're going to drain the water table below us and have to fork out 3K to dig another? For those of you who are not familiar with these kinds of pool (and you would have to be on another planet not to, because every other freaking house has one I think), you blow up the ring and as it fills with water the ring will rise and VOILA!...you have a pool. My sweet baby discovers he can throw himself OVER the ring into the inch of freezing water to run 18ft to the other side. And he didn't know the bottem would be slippery and he would bust his butt halfway there and skid the rest of the way. No fear has that kid. My dad mutters under his breath that he is putting up a death trap. My SIL and I choose to ignore this time. Oh yeah, good times will be had if we have anything to say about it. The Three Amigos (me, mama, and Des) are even talking about a picnic table and chairs. I even made the comment to my Dad that he and Mom could come out at night and that we could get some tiki torches......hook up a radio under the shed.....oooo la la. I say this while doing a sorry imitation of a hula dance. My oldest starts gagging. Daddy asks her what's wrong? She says.....snort...my mom's a pervert. Girlfriend, you have NO idea! LOL.

We are going for counselling tomorrow. This will be Paige's 2nd straight week and I think it will be interesting. She had a big blow out on the phone with her dad this past weekend and I can't wait to see how she retells it tomorrow. Watch that poot-head not let me in on the session and I'll miss it all! No fair giving her the power to let me in or not. Dangit, I'm paying for this (or writing the check for it!) and I want to be nosy and know what's going on. Sometimes I wonder if my little girl is the only one with issues, then I get an email from an old friend whose daughter is dealing with issues too. Where on earth did all this stuff come from? Is there really a conspiracy with Happy Meals? I know they use steriods in the meat, but it can it really affect them this much? whew.

All in all, it was a decent day. Decent Mondays usually make for decent a week. I am going to cross my fingers.

Did I tell you my Dad does NOT wear shorts. I believe the last time I saw him in shorts was down at Santee when he swam. I might have been 14? TTA* have decided that he needs some bright Hawaiian print trunks so that he , too, can enjoy the Big Boy and drag a shorty kid around who is over their head. My husband is in on it and will check at the Navy Exchange tomorrow to see if he can find some. Ten bucks says he will wear them and will get in the pool. Any takers?

* The Three Amigos

Guilty, Your Honor

I did something today I've never done before. I went to court for a speeding ticket!! When I was stopped a few weeks ago, I was not a happy camper. But the day had been so long (was coming home from Vitt's eye appt....2 hours away), that all I wanted was to get home. Ya know? So he said I was going 60 in a 45. No I wasn't. Ask any of my friends, they'll be glad to tell you I am the slowest driver ever. I actually have one friend who almost refuses to ride with me (mostly because I drive a mini-van and she's too cool for that). When she does that rare thing of riding, I am constantly reminded that I need to go faster. Longevity (27 years of friendship) gives me the right to flip her off and keep doing what I want.

Being the stay at home Mom that I am, I decide that the girls need to go with me. Might be educational. No, Vitt did not go. I did not need my 14 month old to be put in jail for disturbing the peace this young. I mostly took Makenna because she has a virus and Des's house did not need any more sickness added to it. I secretly thought maybe she would breathe next the officer's way who stopped me....give him a few days off from work to let people drive freely. ANYWAY...we arrive and Paige (who loves to send her axiety level higher than Jupiter) asks me if I am nervous. Uh...no. Makenna is behind me preparing to get out of the van ..talking in a voice full of mourning...."Here goes the pool money (Insert BIG sigh here)" I notice a young lady getting out of her car next to me.

We cross the road to go in and I make small talk with the young lady. We both agree not to drive through this town again and pay for their parks. She is nice..friendly smile. So, we enter this metal building. We're talking bare bones here, folks. Metal folding chairs...concrete floor...open air conditioning vents above hanging out of ceiling. HELLO? We're paying for ugrades here, people. Allott your dollars the right way, ok?

Guess what? The whole process was very interesting. I totally listened in what the charges were for each person going up there. They made no move to be quiet about it. And it wasn't all for speeding. There was disorderly conduct....loitering...etc etc. (Did I mention that before we went in I had a serious discussion with the girls on how if they did not behave- they would be put in jail? and Paige better not hit her sister or she'll be arrested for assault and battery?) Had to mention that in order to tell this. During the judicial process a prisoner was brought in complete with orange jumpsuit, white socks and orange flip flops. OH, don't forget the handcuffs with hands behind his back. You should have seen Paige's eyes. How big did they get? I leaned forward to whisper in her ear...."That could be you." She turns to look at me in horror. I nod my head and say.."Keep up with that nasty attitude and it will get you right where he is" She shakes her head emphatically and says...."Not me. Uh uh. No way." My parenting success story for the day there.

Remember the young lady? She went before me and after her fine was stated, she proceeded to tell the judge pretty much how it sucked in that town. That the signs needed to be put in better places and how the town was just sucking in poor unsuspecting souls to pay huge fines in order to keep from having points taken from their license. THEN...she says...I was discussing this with someone (pointing behind her now) as we walked in. During this, I was looking at my ticket because I knew I was coming up. As I hear this, my head shoots up and this look of "OMG...don't look at me...don't point at me" flew across my face. Right then and there I decided to listen to my Daddy ( I am Southern and therefore allowed to call the man who sired me that until the day I die) for the first time in a very long time. He told me to go in, plead guilty, keep my mouth shut, pay the fine, and leave. And people, I did just that. I called the judge "Ma'am" and smiled and she was right pleasant with me. In fact, I got that fine reduced just a little bit more I think by being polite.

I walked out that place knowing I had done something that probably most of America has done. Get caught speeding. I was grown up just a little bit more.

Besides, how cool is this? When Paige goes back to school and they tell her to write a paper on the most exciting thing she did this summer I can see the title now..."When I went to Court with My Mom".......