Snippets

Snippets from my week:

• Took the two youngest for their well-child checkups Tuesday. It went okay until the doctor came in. Vitt was a froot loop because he hadn't had a nap and he was being allowed to run around in nothing but a diaper. Oh, the freedom. The doctor literally had to chase him down to exam him. We had to shout our conversation to each other because together, Mak and Vitt are a force to reckon with. He pronounced them fit and healthy and off we went. Got to the van and remembered at least 2 questions I forgot to ask him. Well, if I can't google it, then I guess I'll never know.

• After leaving the doctor's office, we headed to the grocery store. Sweet Joseph, there was this car thing attached to the buggy for my kids' riding pleasure. Vitt headed straight for it and climbed in. Sweet. I just knew I could get some shopping done with him riding shotgun in the front with Mak. Yeah, right. By aisle 3, that boy was hanging out of the side windows and windshield hole like he was a Duke boy or something. All he needed to know then was how to yell "Yeeeeeeee Hawwwww".

• Speaking of my sure-footed mountain goat...a.k.a. Vitt....He's into dancing now. The jury is still out as to whether or not he's got a groove thang going on. His dancing partner this morning...A simple plastic hanger. Innocent enough? Hanger is propped against his Poppies Stool (small stool handmade by his Poppies) and as he gallops by, he trips, hits the stool, the hanger pops up and catches him under the eye. This kid is going to keep a perpetual black eye I fear.

• My mother is over visiting for a few tonight and is having a conversation with Paige. The gist of the conversation is about our recent problem with mosquitoes. They are almost plague-like in their intensity and we are begging for a frost to give us some relief. (which won't happen til near the end of November if we're lucky) Paige is making the comment to Nana that she can't walk from the road ...down our drive...to the house without being carried off. Now Makenna is watching t.v. and decides she's going to jump into the conversation and only hearing half of it says: "Sissy, what's going to carry you off?"...Paige, in her infinite supply of sarcasm says "The kid eating trolls that hide in the bushes on the edge of the yard". Good one, Paige. Now that kid will NEVER go back outside again. Jeesh.

• I, again, win the Worse Mother Award tonight. Mak, nor Vitt, seemed to want to go to bed. They would giggle and holler and try to tear the bedroom up. I am doing laundry and Mak comes and tells me that "Vitt is butt-naked". I admit that I didn't believe her. I go in the bedroom and sure enough..the kid is. Butt. Naked. I redress him and tell them both good night. Giggle. Sounds of things falling. A few minutes later I walk to the bedroom door and Makenna is sitting up in bed doing her thing and Vitt is standing up in the crib doing his thing..whatever that was. I all of a sudden in a loud booming voice say "You better lay down and go to sleep! NOW!" Makenna immediately rolls over and I would bet she instantly fell asleep. I traumatized Vitt so badly he just started crying, but 5 minutes later I checked again and he was also asleep.

Things are never boring around here. And before this goes any further, I DARE anyone to teach that boy how to say "Yeee Haww". I will hunt you down and inflict serious damage if you do.

Manners....Part 2

I address this to Miss Laura who left a comment on my previous post. How nice to meet you! I have a couple of rules that I try to follow when teaching my children how to have manners.

1. My own personal rule of thumb as to when to use Mr. or Miss (which also goes for Mrs.). If the person is old enough to be your mom or dad, then use the proper titles. Exceptions to this rule are bosses and most probably the President. People who are working in any public place and are serving you in any way ...i.e. waiter/waitresses....clerks....office personnel...well, you get the picture.I just personally feel like they deserve respect for being out there working! I, myself, have a hard time figuring it out sometimes because I'm 34 and I don't want to offend someone by not using the right approach. I more often than not end up using the proper titles just to be safe.

2. When calling my children, they must respond with "Ma'am" or "Sir" because that sounds so much better than WHAT? or YEAH? ~shudder~ They tend not to shout when using the sir and ma'am.

3. If asked a yes or no question, then they do respond with a "yes/no ma'am" . Sure, there are times when I let it slip by....but NEVER EVAH in public. If they forget then I remind them and they will use it with me or whatever adult is speaking to them.

4. Saying Thank You is a must. Even when my girls are spitting mad at each other, they have to say Thank You if the other hands them something or does something. Nothing sweeter than hearing it through gritted teeth. My husband brings me something to drink while he's up...I say Thank You. Wonderful little phrase to keep handy.

These are just some I try to follow. If anyone has anymore, please feel free to add on. OH..don't forget phone etiquette. You call my home and Paige answers...you'll want to hire her for a front desk job. Kid has FINALLY gotten her groove on with the phone and how to act.

You have to be prepared to practice what you teach. I even respond with a Yes Ma'am to the girls when asked a question. I want them to know I respect them and if it's good enough for me, then it shouldn't be a problem for them. My husband loves to hear good manners and now cringes when he hears kids saying...yeah...or what??? I even have the kids trained that when they run into someone and that person asks "Hello! How are you?", they respond with "Fine, thank you for asking, and how are you?"

So, that's my anal post for the day. Miss Laura, I appreciate you stopping by and hope to see you again! And thanks to Angela and Starbldr for the encouragement. Some days I want to pinch their heads off when they refuse to cooperate! I shall not give up!

Manners

Dahlings, I simply must address this issue. I am admittedly from the Deep South and we here acknowledge the dying art of manners. My adorable husband is not from here. That automatically qualifies him as a Yankee. He teases me all the time about how snobbish I am about this. So, I will apologize in advance if I offend someone.

I love manners. I think that when properly used, the respect given will come back and reward you tenfold. My children use them and will be in a load of trouble if they didn't. Do I care if you like them or not? No. My oldest tries to be defiant and not say "Ma'am?" when I call her name. Then, of course, I call her until she answers me correctly. I care not that by then she is standing right in front of me. She once inquired as to why I was such a drill sargent (sp?) about it. I told her that if she used manners on a regular basis until it was a habit, then when she went on the interview of her life in 10-15 years and used them...I would put money on the fact that she would get the job quicker by showing respect. Made sense to her.

My husband was not raised this way. And that's fine. I know the first time I met my mother-in-law, she insisted that I call her by her first name. I declined and said that I couldn't. She insisted that I could. And I replied..."I appreciate the offer but if my Mama heard me call you by your given name, she would skin me alive" I've never called her anything but Mrs. M. Even Fred's father tried to get me to call him by his first name. I couldn't even fathom it. So he is Mr. C. I love when I call my MIL and Fred's brother answers the phone and I ask to speak to Mrs. M. He then says..."Mom, it's Hope...she's the only one who calls you Miss". Bothers me not.

When first visiting Arizona and Mrs. M's family...and whoa..that's alot of family!.....Fred's Aunts tried to the same thing and I simply refused. There are a couple that I have adopted as my own and now call them "Aunt"...but never their given name. While there, one of my kids...can't remember which one.... was running and playing and ran between one of the Aunt's talking to someone. I made her turn around and apologize for running between them. The aunt told me that was not necessary. I stood my ground and insisted that, yes, it was. The next day she apologized to me. Very cool.

It's an ongoing process that never ends. Vitt doesn't talk much but can say "Es mam" when asked a question. He says "Tat tu" 98% of the time when handed something. Fred seemingly likes this process and has agreed to support me in it. He uses it with my parents and totally scores points with it. I pick at him all the time when he's on the phone with his mom and he says.."Yeah." I give him a look and whisper.."it's Yes Ma'am!"

I intend on following this through and will live by a Southern creed:

Manners are the moisturizer of life.

Paige-isms....#3

So she likes boys. That's okay..as long as it's from afar. Shall I set up the scene?

We are always on "Dude Alert". No matter where we are, if there are some pimply faced pre-teen or teen boys, she says the word "Dude" under her breath so that I can look also. Why do I want to look? Well, I don't, but I do because she expects me to.

We're driving to counseling today. Busy road in the middle of town. This sporty little red truck whizzes by. We pull up at the redlight and end up right beside this red truck.

Me: Dude to the right. Dude to the right.

~Paige glances and quickly faces forward~

Paige: Dude, that's no dude. That's a DAD.

Crawling Through the Desert

Ever feel like you're crawling through the desert and there's nothing in front of you but sand? Nothing behind you but sand? And your canteen is bone dry? Yeah, me too.

I have been at the single parenting gig for a month straight now. With no break. Reminds me of a song from way back: How long can this go on? I'm okay most of the time but I think I almost jumped over that edge tonight. Just had enough, folks. Let me give you a sample:

• It rained here last week for 3 days straight. That's cool, we needed the rain. I had lake front property for a day or two there. One thing I forgot. When it rains over 8 inches in less than 72 hours, certain things happen. Ants. They have no where to go but in the house. I have cleaned masses of ants up at least 3 times a day with ant killer followed by a good dose of Clorox cleaner. Wouldn't be so bad if some of them weren't fire ants...something Vitt is potentially allergic to.
• The past weekend kept me in the house from Friday evening until this morning. Makenna was sick and I am old school in that I believe you need to just stay in the house and get better unless we're going to the doctor. I was getting a bad case of the "stir crazies", people.
• That boy of mine. If he's not into something he's either dead or asleep. He doesn't sleep alot right now. I've been on midnight shift with him quite a few nights the past week. Makes for a long day.
• Paige is being Paige. Which means I'm the conductor of a runaway hormonal train and the brakes don't work.

Then there is Grandma. She is very elderly. Still lives on her own. Fiesty as all get out. I have to pick Mak up from school this morning and I call and ask my Grandma to ride with me so she can get out a few. She gladly takes me up on my offer. When I drop her off back at home, I inquire as she's getting out of my van if she needs help? She replies..."I might not be moving by dark tonight, but I am now, so let me do it." Yes ma'am. I laugh and tell her I will leave once she in the house. As she is slowly climbing the steps to her front door, I tell her I will talk to her tomorrow. (I call and check on her daily) (and only once, mind you, or she'll think I'm checking up on her) She turns and says to me..."I know my past but I don't know my future...if I'm here tomorrow, I'll talk to you" She's not being smart-alecky....just wise. Put things in a whole new perspective for me.

I went by that lovely country store to purchase my Makenna some ice cream to help her heal faster. The lady in charge informs me that she has a supply of banana pudding in. OH ho ho. Dish me up one, sister. I had visions of later on in the evening...kids in bed....me and that ice cream being best friends. Here arrives the evening and the smaller ones are snoozing....Horatio is bustin' some butt on CSI: Miami...Paige is bathing with her radio going. Ahhhhhhh....good stuff. Forget "Calgon take me awayyyy". I am slowly eating and savoring every single bite. I am down to half of a cup. Paige walks in and says....Mama, can I have some? Well, crap. I gave her the rest so that she could enjoy too. I'm cool that way.

So much for an oasis. One day. Soon. I will find mine.

I should have expected this

Now get this. I haven't seen my hubby in 3 weeks. And the way it looks, I won't get to see him until November sometime. Here comes the good part. He has to have some upper GI scope thing done next Friday. He needs someone to go with him as he will be ga-ga when it's over with. ****PICK ME!! PICK ME!!! (frantically waves hand in the air)**** I totally volunteer for this mission. Plans are being made. I'm going up next Thursday evening to accompany him Friday morning. I then will care for him for 24 hours and leave Saturday morning to return home and he will go back to work Saturday evening. Not long at all ...and yes, he will be out of it for the majority of the time...but I don't care! I can touch him! Yes sir, my middle name is Excited right now.

So, I am planning for the weekend. The girls will reside with Mother for the 2.5 days and Vitt shall accompany me. Why? Because no one wants to keep his bad..I mean active tail. 'Sides, he needs to bond a few with Da. I am discussing this with my mother this evening while at her house enjoying supper. Suddenly, the girls jump up and inform me that they have no school next Friday!! Humph, I say, surely you jest? No Mama! they reply, we really don't! And you know what? They're serious. Dangit.

Now the even better part. I was hoping to kinda, maybe honeymoon just a tad (not alot, mind you, just a tad) and here are these two girls breaking out into the song...We're going to Virginia! We're going to Virginia! ~sigh~

Now I am planning for 4 of us to go. They are excited and would pack tomorrow. They haven't seen him in a month. They miss him, too. ~sigh~ How can I say no? I can't.

Good thing the hospital there has a daycare for Vitt to attend while Fred is doing his thing. DVD player for Mak to watch? Check. Big, thick, juicy book for Paige to read? Check. Peace and quiet for Mama? Priceless. (which is probably why it won't happen!)

I am in deep Doo Doo

You know I like to speak of my Mama once in a while. Yeah, well, she's got my blog addy now. I reckon I better go edit all the posts where I talked smack about her.

Maybe the Paxil will give her a sense of humor about it all?

(she is SO gonna kill me for saying that)

The Repo-Man

Dude drives around in a tow truck. We all know him. He's the Repo-Man.

Today I drive up at my mom's house. Yes, I know I live next door, but sometimes it's just easier to swing into her driveway. Ok? Ok. Anyway, as I am getting Vitt out of the van, the Repo-Man pulls into the yard. I know the van payment is being made. We have that automatically done. Wait. Not my yard. Crap. Is he coming for the Tahoe? He gets out and grins at me. I do not grin back. He asks if I know who he is? Uh..yeah. He wants to speak with my mom. Crap. I go in the house and tell Mom...the Repo-Man is outside..he wants to speak with you. Her eyes. Priceless. One of those "Need a camera moments". She goes out on the porch and he informs her that someone told him that she knows everyone who is everyone and could she help him find out where this certain person is? She then pats the area where her heart is located. Thing is....she knew she was making the Tahoe payments. I took one myself for her last week. Guys like that just have a way of making your heart skip a beat or two, I suppose. Heck, I know mine did when I saw him. Well, Paige gets into the act, helping him find out where this person is by calling her network of friends. I still have no idea how all of that really went down. Maybe it's better if I don't.

Then get this. If my Mom isn't Southern Genteel to the bone, I'll hush my mouth. Repo-Man had the same surgery as my Mom. They compare war stories. She offers the man a biscuit fresh out of the oven. I kid you not. He politely declines...then asks if it's homemade. But, of course! He starts to waver and she rushes to the kitchen to fix that poor man a biscuit with a piece of fresh-baked ham wedged in the middle. And I am my mother's daughter ...to the bone. I am sitting in the recliner, thumbing through a magazine and I toss over my shoulder..."He has a passenger in his truck with him, Mama, so don't forget him". Two biscuits to go, Repo-Man. He is eternally grateful and I know if ever he needs to visit either one of our addresses (and he won't if I can help it!!).....we won't have a bit of problem. Because, you see, he is beholden now.

God, I love Southern life.

Luck...or lack there of

I am not kidding you. My LF has fallen into the biggest pile of luck you ever did see. That chick is into buying the scratch off cards from your local convenience store. I am not joking when I say she's got luck. In the past month, she's won almost a thousand dollars playing those things. I hate to even answer the phone when she calls because I just know she's going to tell me she's won another wad of cash. I personally don't buy them. It's a leftover from how I was raised. I let Fred do it instead. Cat Daddy knows how to do all that and I'm too afraid I would take it personally if I didn't win. This way...if he buys the winning ticket, I am SOOO going shopping in my new Land Rover and if he doesn't? Eh, oh well.

So, I'm moaning and groaning about her luck and she tells me she's hitting while the hitting's good because it won't last forever. At least she got her car insurance paid and stuff.

Today I open our mail. And there's this letter. It informs my hubby that an allotment he had going to this obscure bank in the middle of nowhere has some money sitting in it. I bout crapped. 800 smackeroos, people. Well, thank you Lord, there's my winning scratch off ticket. Santa is going to be so happy this year. So is this how winning the lottery feels? Many of you may scoff at such a paltry sum, but I'm not!! This is sweet sweet sweet and I'm going to enjoy knowing that Christmas is paid for.

And for all of you who say....but, Hope, this is Fred's money. How can you say how it's going to be spent? Kiss my butt. We're in this together and Cat Daddy knows we got 3 kids and big family to think of. He's just as excited as I am.

Speaking of the breadwinner. He's started his midnight shift work. Gotta admit I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. I just hope he doesn't get hooked on Days of Our Lives again since he's off during the day. I'd hate to tie my DVR up with that mess once he's back on days. There are more important things to record! Like Oprah. Degrassi. And every single show on the Disney Channel. Who showed Makenna how to operate that thing??? Jeesh. A kid learns to read and it's all over with, people.

Tagged...yet again....

Lady Angela has tagged me again for some fun blog festivities. I'm going to participate because it's like throwing a party. You sit and fret and wonder who will show up and you don't rest until some do. Some people don't care, but I'm Southern. We care about parties. And Guests. And dip. So I'm going to play along. I'm just cool that way.

The Rules:1. Go into your archive.2. Find your 23rd post.3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.5. Tag 5 other people to do the same.

Here is my sentence. Makes no sense, man!

So, this morning I told SIL that we needed to hit the water this evening.

Here are my five people that I'm inviting to the party...or tagging:

1. Jacinda
2. Coley
3. Starbldr (this is your chance to get into the blogosphere, shugah!)
4. Fred
5. Mar

Angela, Dahling, the dip was good but I must share one teensy tiny miff with you. Big Bertha never made it over my way.

Another Paige-ism

Lawd, I love this kid. She might be hell on wheels and hard to handle sometimes, but her sharp wit will see her through.

This week is "Spirit Week" at her school. Something fun and exciting to do every day. Monday was pajama day. She definately participated in that because, DUH, she got to wear her monkey pj's and they are just sooo cute.

Tuesday was FLASHBACK DAY. Paige didn't participate because she didn't give me any notice and I just have to have time to plan these things out. It was a hit at school. I picked her up from school because she had counselling and all the way there, she told me about the different costumes that were worn. One group got together and did Gilligan's Island. They rocked. There were poodle skirts and ponytails. One group of gals did Flashdance complete with heels and lace socks.

So, Paige talked about it and I simply had to nod once in a while to keep her movtivated. We were pulling up to the front of the office where she goes for counseling and she made this comment:

"Hey, Mom? So we do flashback day and we got lots to choose from, right? Well, if Nana and Papa did flashback day back when they were in high school, who would they dress as? Pilgrams?"

I lost it. And you can bet your sweet fanny I couldn't wait to get home and tell my Mom. Somehow it didn't amuse her as much as it did me.

Frustration..with some sweetness mixed in

Don't say I didn't warn you. The Navy blah blah blah thing has commenced forth and I'm alone....with 3 kids. With a mother recovering from surgery.

Today was tuff. Capital T-U-F-F. I've been so busy doing other things this week, I had to focus on the house before I got reported to DSS and they came by and cited me for nastiness. Besides, we needed clean underwear, ya know? So, here I go...scrubbing the bathroom floor on my hands and knees. Washing a good 8 loads of laundry (yeah, there's still 2 loads to go). I put off the hands-and-knees deal as long as possible because the back just can't take it. Paige was kind enough to entertain Vitt so I could get it done without "supervision" on his part. Chores were getting done.

I call my mother and ask how she is. Does she need anything? Is there any pain? She proceeds to tell me she is doing super. Then...I get blasted. Apparently she's been waiting for me to go and sit with her and clean her house and do her laundry. Excuse me? You never once indicated to me that you needed all this stuff done! And she says....well, I don't beg ....you should have called. ~Deep breath~ I then tell her that I am no mind-reader and I would be more than happy to do whatever she needs. I just can't go and sit with her all day (People...she's NEXT DOOR for crying out loud!!). I have things that need to be done in my own house and she doesn't want 3 kids tearing her house up. She goes on about how my Dad is doing the laundry and this and that, etc etc. Well, pardon me, but it won't hurt him one bit. Sure, he's worked ...but hasn't she worked for years and come home and done all of that and supper is ready at 6:22 p.m. sharp every single freaking day? I just get off the phone and cry because, once again, I have won the award for World's Worst Daughter.

I proceeded to let Paige go be a teenager...well, in her mind at least. She left this afternoon with a friend and I got that famous phone call at 8 p.m. "Can Paige spend the night?" Sure. Why not? Getting a break where ever I can, folks. I bathe the rest of us who are left and put the Troublefinder to bed. I look and there's my sweet Makenna on the computer, drawing pictures and entertaining herself. Not asking a thing of me. I go to the kitchen and put some cookies in the oven to bake. I then tell her that I never get to just sit and hang with her and I was cooking us a treat. Her eyes got so big. We proceeded to have cookies with a glass of milk...just the two of us. She looks at me and says.."Isn't this just so cool? Thanks, Mama. You're the bestest." Crushed my heart and made me touch the sky at the same time. She's so easygoing. Smooth. Self-sufficient. Low maintenance. I've got to make more time for her. She might end up saving my sanity for me.

Took the kids skating last night as a reward for good grades. Yeah, I'm cool that way. SIL went with hers and we just partied. Today, the girls are so sore from using those couch potato muscles. Can we say "Motrin is our best friend?" Makenna informed me that the motrin, cookie, and milk hit the spot and she felt like she could rest real good.

It was a day of frustration. Because you can't sneeze while you're cutting the grass. Because your small son is riding with you and just when you sneeze and close your eyes, he decides to throw his paci (why does that kid throw EVERYTHING?????) and guess what? Yeah, I ran over it. That and my mom....why it's enough to make a decent person crazy.

Freeze Frame!!!!!

Ok. I know I'm old. I don't need reminders. But, does anyone remember this song??? Reason I ask is because I took the girls skating tonight since they did so awesome on their interim report cards. 'Sides, they don't have school tomorrow and it just seemed like a "Cool Mom" kind of thing to do. I grew up going to a skating rink on a regular basis. My uncle worked at one and my folks liked to go and do their thang. So, it was skate or be bored. It's now been around 5 years since I've been on skates. With this bad back, I wouldn't even think of attempting it.

Anyways, there were some gals there with their kids (SIL went with niece and nephew) that I grew up with. We got to talking about going when we were younger and how old we felt now. I went to get some drinks while the kids skated and when I got back I started doing the intro for the song "Freeze Frame". Everyone started laughing and talking about what that song reminded them of. Ahhh....memories.

The week is getting better. My mom had surgery on her back yesterday. Pinched nerve kind of deal. She did so wonderful, it's just amazing. She rode home with me because she simply couldn't climb into her Tahoe. I stopped to get her something to eat. My dad is going to kill me, but I let her have a sandwich AND a handful of fries. Yes, I know...big no-no for the diabetic. She ate with big lusty sighs and eyes closed. I noticed she had her legs crossed...ankle on opposing knee. I asked her if that was a good idea? She replied....I have hurt for so long. I woke up after this surgery and the tingling was gone in my legs and I just don't hurt. I can do this without crying in pain. I have my stomach full and I think I'm going to rest now. She then proceeded to start snoring. Bless her heart. She's needed no pain killers and told me this morning she was waiting for the truck to hit her and to start hurting. I don't think it will. Bless her.

That Navy blah blah blah thing starts this weekend. I won't see my husband until November. Man, that sucks. It would be different if he were out to sea, but he's not. Yeah, we're leaning towards moving to be together even more. We're getting information on our housing choices now. As of now, we're up for a 2 story townhouse like deal. Can we say "Hello E.R! My name is Vitt and I have stairs in my house?" Oh yeah, the nightmares have started.

YaY Hope and Fred

YaY us. It's mine and Fred's 2 year anniversary. What a two year stint it has been. And the phone call at 12:01 a.m. last night was sweet.

I just can't compose some witty, catchy piece today, folks. I am in such a pissy mood that I don't even glance in the mirror when I walk by because I know the expression on my face is one where my mother would say ..."You keep that look and your face will freeze like that and it will be ugly the rest of your life". Yeah yeah yeah, Mom.

I didn't even talk to Fred tonight when he tried to call and barely spoke to him on messenger. Lawd, that's awful of me. (no comment on this please, Fred)

I'll just wrap it all up and know that I did acknowledge my anniversary. It's just another special date that is being missed .....like just about every one this freaking year. Am hushing now.

Hope everyone else is having a better week. Our school is out this Friday and Makenna reminds me of it every five minutes. Oh boy. Gotta get with the entertainment committee this week, I suppose.

Could this be a problem?

I have friends. I love my friends. I have a two very very close friends that I depend on completely and others whom I enjoy their company tremendously. I have a few male friends also. Is that wrong? I likes them lots and enjoy shooting the breeze now and again.

Today I was talking with Des on the phone and told her I was meeting Life Friend and another friend who happens to be male for lunch tomorrow. And I really didn't think anything about it. I tell her how he bought lunch last time and I gave him a kiss on the cheek before he left as a "Thank You". And I really didn't think anything about it. This is second nature for me you see. When starblder brought this wonderful dryer he had "sitting around"....I most certainly hugged his neck and kissed his cheek. And I didn't think anything about it. Well, Des got quiet and I got that icky feeling that she didn't approve. I asked her what was up and she said...you know your brother wouldn't like me doing that. Yeah, so? And I wouldn't want him hugging and kissing on some woman either. What??? Last I recalled, I wasn't exactly mauling these men in public...just expressing sincere affection of friendship. I, of course, told Fred. I tell him everything. Why? Because I don't know how to keep my mouth shut and I'm just that open and honest with him. Always have been. I feel like if you don't do anything you need to hide and just run your mouth telling all your business ..then you're good to go. Finally I shrug (even though she can't see me do this over the phone). I tell her I wouldn't mind Fred hugging or kissing another woman on the cheek. One visit to his family and you become immune within 5 minutes. Those are the kissingest and huggingest people evah. So, it's in his nature to do stuff like that, too.

My question if anyone would like to answer:

If you are a married man/woman, is it okay to hug (friendly hug) and kiss someone on the cheek? Even if your spouse or significant other isn't around? Even if they are? I'm truly curious as to what you folks think on this. Des made me feel almost dirty and it got me a little bit miffed because I truly don't think it's dirty. At all.

p.s. Fred and I are beating the system this weekend and meeting almost halfway between here and Virginia. Goody. A small road trip. By myself with Vitt. Oh yeah, I got the mini dvd player ready to go with Wiggles inside. We're celebrating our anniversary since it'll be 4-7 weeks before we can see each other again. hmmm...gonna be some interesting blogs during that time, huh?

Handbooks

We joke in the South that every girl child born is slipped a handbook in the nursery at the hospital. In this sacred handbook, we are taught how to be Southernbelles. How to sip tea without smearing our lipstick. How to have manners and how to use them to our advantage. How to convince boys..then men....that we are helpless and need someone of their manly nature to help "Little ol' Me". There are many many things in this sacred book that cannot be mentioned for fear of reprisal from wiser, more mature Southernbelles. The book is to be detroyed by our sixteenth birthday so as not be accidentally picked up by someone is not serious about being ladylike. Don't get mad at the storyteller here, I am just passing down Southern folklore.

So I have instruction on how to be a lady. A nice handy handbook (that is, of course, destroyed by now because I am wiser and mature (note the lack of the word "old"..major rule giveaway)) to see me through life in this Southeastern United States.

I called my lawyer today. Talked with her right hand woman with whom I grew up with. (rule 37- Always inquire about each other's mothers. I am giving this one away because everyone should do this!) We spoke for about an hour on just what I can do. I can move these girls if I so desire. How about that? I can get reimbursed for all the medical bills of the past 3 years. Can we say Christmas will be sweet? And I can get an increase in support. Well, tighten my knickers..this is getting really really good. She told me this was the easiest win case she had seen in a while and she was ready to "dig in". During the course of the conversation she asked me why had I waited so long? I sighed and responded that divorces didn't come with handbooks. If they did, we women would be much better off. The issue of divorce and all the problems that arise with it make for a surreal life for a while and when you find yourself walking out of courtroom and you realize that you are indeed a free woman again....why, it takes a full six months for it to sink in. I'm not saying it stops you from dating...it just muddles the mind for a while.

And raising children. Where are the REAL handbooks? I want to know this, please. How do I handle this preteen ball of hormones who is the size of a small woman and during "that delicate time of the month", I'd put on a mechanical bull in the rowdiest bar around and then tell her to fight her way to the front door and know she would make it with no problems? And Dear Sweet Lord above....how do I stop the eye rolling????? How do I keep refraining from letting my hand fly out and knockin' those eye balls back to the front in proper alignment? And how do I handle being told that I am basically stupid and have absolutely no clue about anything?

And toddlers. How do I keep taking him by the hand and leading him out of the fridge at least 50 times a day? How can I make him understand that it is NOT his personal air condition? How do I keep him out of my dryer..my brand new top of the line (shout out to starblder! It was a present from him!! smooches shugah) dryer that I treasure because it can dry a load of jeans in 25 minutes flat? How do I make this sweet little man understand that toothpaste is NOT one of the major food groups and should not be consumed by the mouthful?

There are so many situations that a good sturdy handbook would come in handy. I have a bookcase that I am willing to donate shelves to the cause.

Handbooks I am Interested In:
"How to Keep My Sanity When Preteen is Acting like a Froot Loop"

"How to Handle the Most Stubborn, Strong Willed, Temper Tantrum Throwing Toddler This Side of the Mason Dixon Line"

"How to Use Subliminal Messages in Nickelodeon's Shows to Brainwash my 6 Year Old to Pick up After Herself"

"How to Turn Down McDonald's Buy 2 Bacon, Egg, & Cheese Biscuits for $2.00"

I'm so positive that there are more that I am interested in and would love to own. I NEED these books, people. By the way, I do not eat both biscuits. One is for Vitt, he eats the middle out of one. True ladies DO NOT eat two biscuits in one sittin'. It's rude and not classy at all. And if you accuse us of it, be prepared- we will use tears if we have to. It's in our arsenal.

An Ordinary Day

Paige, at age eleven, thinks she is boss. Of everything. And everyone. The other day she was bossing Makenna around. Ordering her to do this and to do that. Finally, fed up with all the dictatorship, she says to Paige:

"One day you're gonna be old and you're gonna need my help and I'm not gonna give it to you"

Paige had no response. This led me to believe that I needed to be good to Makenna because one day I WILL be old and I WILL need her help and if I've pissed her off too badly at some point and time in her life, she might just hold out on me and not lend a helping hand!

We had a good Southern evening here. The weather is absolutely perfect, folks. I'm talking upper 60's...no humidity...and there's a hurricane brewing in the Atlantic. What did I tell you? Good weather = catastrophe.
I cut the grass this good evening, and as I cut, I could smell the chickens my Dad was cooking on his back porch. I made a mental note not to tell Fred what we were having to eat because it simply wasn't fair that he's stuck on some halfway done submarine doing duty whilst we enjoyed life. Man, was it good. Perfect even.
After supper we're sitting on the front porch watching the kids play whilst we rocked under the slow moving ceiling fans. My SIL proceeds to tell us that my brother has to go out of town next week for work. He has to fly. He has never flown. I just start laughing. This guy is so safe in his comfort zone, it would take a HUGE stick of dynomite to get him out....or a boss who gives him no choice. She says he asks last night....what am I doing to do? I can't take my knife or my gun with me. (He has a license to tote, friends. He's a by-the-book-kind-of-guy..mostly) She simply looks at him and says: Duck. and RUN. After thinking about it, he says...I AM quick. This is going to be the highlight of my month, I'm sure. He is going to be a freaking basket case about flying and Mr. Tuff Guy would die before he lets it show. Maybe he'll pass out for like a minute. (insert evil grin) I mean, he's just so macho and cool....being brought down a peg would be too sweet for me. I'll never know though, because he'd lie before he'd admit it. Especially to me.

Yes, I've flown. And I hated it. I told my husband that if anyone in his family gets real sick or even tries to die, they need to give us at least 3-4 days notice so we can drive there. I'm not joking. And with the price of gas (paid $2.97 a gallon this morning) as it is...they better be durn serious about being sick or dead.

And I would be completely remiss if I didn't tell you about our new discovery here. We are a Pop Tart family. I like to buy the chocolatey ones so if I am having an incredible craving at night, I can munch on one instead of a candy bar (which I do not purchase to come into my house anyways). They have pulled one over on us, folks. They now have Strawberry Milkshake. Lawd. It's so bad, I have a box hid. The kids are vicious and are like bloodhounds. They can sniff the good stuff out in seconds. You simply must try them. We don't even cook them. They are that good.

And that's the news for today. Nothing spectacular or adrenaline inducing. But I'm to the point in my life that when Fred asks me if anything has happened today....I am thrilled when I can report NO! Let's keep it smooth and easy, people. Mama likes it that way.

Time to say Something...Anything....

About this devastation our country is dealing with. I sit here with hands poised above the keyboard and I'm simply stumped.

I've read so many accounts and blogs over the past week. I felt the anger, bitterness, feelings of betrayal. I've seen a sputter of hope flicker and sometimes die a quiet death.

I grieve. I grieve the death of so many people. So many elderly. So So So many babies. My heart aches every time I see a fellow American crying...full of anguish....on my television screen. Paige....who is in that tween self involved stage...rolls her eyes because when coverage comes on, I start to cry. Everytime. She says.....oh Mama, just turn the stupid thing off if it upsets you that badly. She can't understand that just because you turn the t.v. off, it doesn't make it all go away. How sweet it would be if it could. I believe that every single person with any emotion within them will be forever haunted by the images we've seen....the visuals we've gotten from hearing. I, for one, can't get the babies out of my head. Will I ever?

Although I agree with some on how things have been handled...and disagree with some others.....one thing is certain. If we don't get past the bullcrap politics of the situation and come together as a nation like our forefathers fought so hard to establish....we're going to lose much more than a historical landmark. Much more than lives unprepared to go so soon. Much more than streets covered in murky sludge.

You figure it out.

Happy Anniversary!!

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!!!!!!!

36 Years and STILL going Strong!!!!

How rare am I to have my parents still married and still loving each other? Yes, I know how lucky I am. I can only hope to make it that far in my life.

Just had to recognize two very important people in my life. And no, they don't read the blog because...dang, my mom would leave too many comments and my dad still doesn't know how to turn the computer on and doesn't want to learn.

It has been decided....

The big boy will be staying up past tomorrow's Labor Day. After all that has happened in our beloved South, my brother started thinking. He is one that if WWIII started, we're going to his house. He's totally prepared. I can't give details because then I wouldn't be able to go. 'Nuff said bout that.

ANYWAY. We've decided that hurricane season will not be over for us until October 1. Yes, we know the season lasts through November but history shows us that the worse ones come in September. In fact, we tend to get a little nervous and out of sorts everytime September 1 rolls around. Remember Hurricane Hugo hitting South Carolina? I was living at the beach that summer(round abouts Myrtle Beach)(hold on while I sit and remember a moment........ohhhh, what a summer that was....) Ok, am back. I left to attend college. In one night my whole summer of memories was wiped away. Literally. I go to visit there now once in a while and there is nothing from when I lived there hardly. It is devastating to have memories wiped away like they were never even there.

Jeesh. Back to the story. Due to possible bad weather we are keeping the Big Boy up through September. We may not be able to swim in it, but we will keep it treated and run the pump regularly. We were without power for 6 weeks due to bad weather before. There are 5 children who will need to be cleaned. Our toilets are run by wells. That operate off of electricity. No city water here, folks. We will need water to flush said toilets should the power desert us. Therefore, it is official. The Big Boy will remain to hopefully take care of us should the need arise.

My brother can now sleep at night. Wait. Until he realizes the water might have to be warmed up and does he have enough propane to last at least 3 months?

Ice Cream Wins Again...dangit

~sigh~ .......~sigh again~...........

so here's the story:

We got this little country store down the road from my house. It's been there as long as I've been breathing ....only been through like 3 owners the whole time. It's a store that if you're not from the area...you probably wouldn't stop at. It's just old and the gas pumps are long dried up. Old men sit out in front and watch the vehicles go by and spit tobacco. My grandaddy used to sit out there many hours. It was/is gossip central and you can hear the police/ems scanner going off everytime you walk in. Country living, folks. Everyone in the area loves this place and you can find just about anything you need there...for a price, of course.

This place has hand dipped ice cream. For one dollar...that's $1.00...no tax....you can get a styrofoam cup (bigger than a kiddie cup...a tad smaller than a "to go" cup from your favorite place to eat) full to the brim of your choice of what's in the cooler. And we all know my weakness for ice cream. ~sigh again~ The other day when I went, I picked up a cup for me and one a piece for the girls. I think I picked peaches and cream that day. You never know the selection because it varies everytime. It's like a Christmas stocking....you just never know what's inside. That day there was bubblegum. Yo. That should work perfect for Makenna. Bubblegum=kids. Right? Wrong. She was so upset because that is just disgusting (tasted pretty good to me later when I ate it for her). She wanted any flavor but that one. I promised to get her one next time I went. Mostly to shut her up at that moment.

So here I go yesterday in that Country Store. I asked the lady in charge if she had grape in stock? I knew for a fact that Mu loves the grape flavor. Next thing I know that woman is listing all the flavors available and I felt blood rushing to my head. Did she just say BANANA PUDDING????? I had to stop her. She DID say that. Oh sweet mercy. I knew I didn't need that ice cream. But I wanted that ice cream. Bad. (sounds like a crack addict again). As she's walking back to get Mu's, she asks if I want one? Crap. "Yeah," I holler back, "gimme one of that pudding...I'm having a hard time believin' that one." I get the cups in a sack and slunk back out to my van. I come straight home and put it in the freezer. I will resist. I will resist. I will resist.

Can I help it if Rock Star INXS was THAT good? I find my self walking in a trance to that freezer. Getting a spoon out of the drawer. Sitting back down. I am on the phone with Fred at this time and I don't let him know I am eating this ice cream. Why? I don't know...I just didn't! Ok? It would have been rude since he didn't have any. Sweet Mother. It's not bad. Then I bite into something. I am lost. IT HAD FREAKING VANILLA WAFERS IN IT, PEOPLE. Ohhhhh, the shock! Ohhhhh, the goodness and mercy. I cannot believe God gave such a marvelous talent to someone as to come up with that ice cream. I really can't. I think it rates right up there with being a heart surgeon.

So the ice cream won again. ~snort~ Like I really put up a fight.

Coming Home

Coming home. What a wonderful thing to say. To hear. To anticipate.

In a previous post I mentioned a friend of mine whose husband is in Iraq. He was coming home for his two week leave back at the first of July. She and the kids enjoyed every second he was home and even let him go back. They didn't want to. Well, his time is almost up over there. He is there with a man from my church and two other guys I grew up with. W (friend's hubby) and J (man from my church) are full time national guard and therefore have been gone longer than others due to getting things ready.

Miss M, mah friend, sent an email out last week. She had gone over her 2004 calendar and was making some observations. Like how many days W had been gone. The last time they had a "date" night. How he's missed first days of 5K and first grade for the oldest child. How he missed all the teething with the second child and her first words. Now she speaks in sentences. Just a list of things that are small but make a big picture. I cried reading it...knowing that even though she's made it through...it was such a hard road.

At church Sunday, I asked the mother of one of the guys I grew up with if she had heard from him. She laughed and said that he had called at 3 a.m. that morning because they call when they get the chance and no one complains about what time of day or night the phone rings. He was mostly chit-chatting and the excitement came through. They call everyday over there "wakeups". Before he would talk about months...then weeks....now he says "I have X number of wakeups....then I'm coming home".

Mr. J's wife came in then and I asked her how he was doing. Ready to come home. (he's got 4 grankids chomping at the bit to see Papa) I asked her if she was ready for him to come in and take over the house again after she's been on her own for so long.

And this is what I found out.

And it's so cool.

When our soldiers come home they have to take a class of sorts. They don't come straight from the airport home. They have things to do equipment-wise and a class. This class is to show them how to integrate themselves back into their homes and families. They stress to the men that you do NOT come in and take over. Your wife has been rowing the boat on her own for a while and she might not want ...uh.....help. And I think this is cool. Very smart of someone to come up with this. I guess the divorce rate was so high before, they realized a little help might be needed in this area.

We are waiting for our men to come home. They've been gone for over a year and we've missed them in our everyday lives. Best part about it? Everyone our unit sent will be coming home...walking...breathing....alive.

A Taste of Heaven

A little background for you. My mother is a diabetic. She's had problems with her sugar for 11 years but controlled it with mostly diet and medication in the form of pills. She started getting sick this past Spring and it worried the whole family. Finally, my Dad and I put our foot down and we told her she was going to the doctor accompanied by me. Mr. Doctor ran a whole battery of tests. Alas, he put her on insulin shots. It insulted her. It depressed her. It pissed her off. Now my Mom is a woman of faith. Strong faith. I wish to be as strong in faith as she is just one day if that is any indication. She even ranted and raved about how HE could do this when he knew how much she loved food. We let her vent and said nothing.

She's doing better as time goes by. She is learning how to eat and how to administer her shots. I've even given her some in her arm and even though I don't let her see, I cringe everytime I do it. But it keeps her alive and alive is how I want her to be. My dad and I are constantly watching her to make sure she's not overdoing the carbs and sweets. I truly think she doesn't like us when we gently cough and shake our heads no when she's over doing it with a piece of cake or pie.

Fast forward to today. I call her as the girls and I are leaving counselling. To tell her we are done and going to grab a bite to eat. She inquires as to where we are dining. I tell her we decided we wanted Mexican. She pauses and asks if I will pick up an order of chips and salsa. She then rushes to tell me how good she's been and that she only wants a few. I'm no prison warden. I agree. When I order my meal...a steak burrito....I receive two and end up taking one home since I truly couldn't eat both without throwing up. I bring it into her house when I get home. I thought maybe my dad would like it for supper. She opens the box and just smells it. She gets a fork and cuts off the very end, making sure to get a piece of steak. Folks, I saw what a crack addict looks like. I seriously did. The pure bliss that came across her face was amazing. She quickly closes the lid and starts to fix my dad's plate. Almost anxious-like about it. I sit on the other side of the bar and just watch. She finally looks at me and says...very quickly.....I'm passing on the chips. Don't tell your dad you got this. I want it. I want it bad. I tell her to go for it. ~shrugs~ The woman was in a near frenzy. I figured if she was denied the pleasure of that steak burrito....we'd have to commit her. And I'm not joking.

Rewind a year or so ago. We're at the beach eating at this sinfully huge seafood buffet place. Hey, everyone is allowed at least once a year. And my family ALWAYS meets that quota. We enjoy the bestest meal ever ....crab leg skeletons litter the table like a war zone. Time for the dessert buffet bar. Here goes Mom. She comes back with one little piece of something and this incredibly smug smile on her face. We all glance around thinking she might have just eaten off of the bar to keep us off her back. She is seriously addicted to sweets. She looks around and announces..."I know what heaven looks like." Huh? What do you mean Mom? and she continued with...she knew what heaven looked like because she finally figured it out. Do tell us, Mom. Her theory. When you die and if you've followed the plan right and you go to heaven, there is no pain or suffering. Well, she's suffered this time on Earth being denied one of the biggest things that make her happy....sweets. When she walked over to that dessert buffet bar, she knew without a doubt that when she died and went to heaven.....God is gonna have a dessert buffet waiting on her and He's gonna hand her a fork and tell her to dig in. She looks around the table and informs everyone there that when they finally get to heaven....get directions to that buffet cuz that's where she's gonna be. Rock on Mom.

7....seven....siete.....

I was over visiting a blog that I've come to enjoy quite a bit. Miss Angela was tagged to do this "7" deal and then tagged me towards the end. I wish I knew how to highlight her name all fancy-like so you can just click on it and VOILA..show up on her site...but, alas, I cannot. I don't know how! OK? Go to my comments and catch her link there. It's worth the trip. Good reading. Please be warned that I very rarely give one word answers...I like to elaborate. So here goes my answers to "7".

7 Things to do Before I Die:
~ Lose weight. I've done it before and gotta get my moxie up to do it again.
~ Quit smoking. Yes! I smoke! soooo ashamed. It's a leftover from those darned teen years and 20's. But rest assured. I don't smoke around my children. My habit...not theirs.
~ Travel outside of the country. Preferably to somewhere safe. And then come back just as safe.
~ Survive raising kids through the teen years. Nuff said on that.
~ Go on a cruise. I've heard tales in the dark about midnight buffets. I want to see this for myself.
~ Drive a convertable (spell check again, please). At the beach. With super cool shades on. After I've lost weight.
~ Be on the front pew when my children get married and at the hospitol when my granchildren are born.

7 Things I Can Do:
~ Sing. Give me some Eagles harmonizing and I'm there.
~ Talk to total strangers where ever I am. Totally kills the teaching of "Don't talk to strangers" to my kids. They just can't grasp the concept.
~ Be brutally honest. Some consider that a character flaw. Is just how I am.
~ Be on my deathbed and still be able to eat ice cream.
~Make facial expressions. My face talks more than I do. When Fred and I dated, he almost wrecked his truck because he was busy watching to see what facial expression I was going to make. dummy.
~I can have a tougher voice than a Drill Instructor. Comes from working with kids my whole life. Talk tough. Gets their attention.
~I can read like no body's business. I finished the new Harry Potter book in 6 hours. I speed read and it drives my husband nuts.

7 Things I Can't Do:
~ I can not understand the Navy/military. Don't think I ever will.
~ I can't turn a cartwheel. And I hate that. It's just a stupid fear of falling and breaking my neck that stops me.
~ I can't lose weight because I can't leave the durned ice cream alone!!
~ I can't go to bed early unless I'm completely exhausted. It's in my blood to stay up late...very late.
~I can't climb a ladder. Because it goes up high and Hope don't do high.
~I can't keep my house straight. Too many people-too little space. It may drive me insane.
~ I can't figure out how to make Paige happy. But I'm not giving up.

7 Things that Attract me to the Opposite Sex:
~Belief in God.
~Chemistry.
~ Height. Sorry, but I like tall
~ Sense of humor. Gotta have one to deal with me.
~ Hands.
~ Sense of responsibility. I'm in my 30's....that's very important to me.
~The ability to make me feel purty. Make a woman feel purty and guys...you got it made.

7 Things I say Most Often:
~ That is unacceptable. (Paige hates this with a passion!!)
~ If I have to count to THREE..that's it....it's on!!
~ONE
~TWO
~Vitt!!! Get out of the fridge/bathroom sink/dryer/tool drawer/your closet/( I think we get the picture here)
~ You have GOT to be kidding me.
~ Amen.

7 Celebrity Crushes: (ok, I know Fred's on this. Jerk)
~ Andre Agassi
~ Sam Elliott
~ Tom Hanks
~Robin Williams (can you just imagine how funny he would be??)
~Will Smith
~ Desperate Housewives Men Ensemble (aren't they simply JUICY????)
~ Fred ( I got a picture of him in the newspaper when he was kid....momentary fame...does that count??)

7 People I'd like to do This List:
this is tough because my reader list is very short. I will put some down and hope that they comply!
~Coley
~ Jacinda
~ Fred
~ Jody
~ Betsy
~ I must have seven and am out of names!! Must be the lateness of the hour that is stopping me.
~ Mar!!

So there you have it. Man, these things wear me out! Hope you enjoy!

Paige-isms...a deep thinker in progress....

I do not know if this is genetic or just being exposed to me. Maybe it's better if I don't know.

In Social Studies class this week.

The teacher is talking about how women were the first farmers. Ever. How they grew berries and how they provided for their families. I believe this is the caveman era that the teacher is referring to.

Paige raises her hand.

Teacher acknowledges Paige.

Paige says:

So women were the first farmers. Does this mean that the men with their big heads said to themselves: "If a woman can grow some berries, then I can grow a cow"... and then they go and bury a bone?

The teacher just put her face in her hands. Dare I say that she laughed?

I must be Insane

Ok. School is back in session and the Big Boy sits out there looking so lonely and forlorn. Between dance class and not being free until after 5 p.m., we don't get alot of time to go swimming except maybe the weekends. Big Daddy next door says it comes down after Labor Day and we are starting to panic. Heck, we know it'll start getting too cool to swim but it's just so dang cool to see that big pool sitting there. So, this morning I told SIL that we needed to hit the water this evening. She agreed. They drive up at 5:15 with suits on. We are finishing homework and getting ready to splash. Oh, the humidity. SIL says she is not swimming because she's a tad under the weather. No problem. I will take on lifeguard duty. As I am putting on my swimsuit, it starts to rain. Bah, rain. We're getting wet anyway, right? I get outside to see my SIL sitting under shelter with Vitt. I tell her if she wants to go next door to Mom's with Vitt, I'll watch the other four. We had a deal.

Rain is cold. I don't care if it's 100 degrees outside, rain can make you feel cold. So here I go running to the pool to get in. Ahhhhhh, nice and warm. Well, shoot. The rain came down even harder. If anyone has ever watched the Forrest Gump movie where he's in 'Nam and he talks about rain and how it was raining up? Yeah, that was us. It didn't bother those hardy kids at all. I finally got the pool lounger and turned it upside down for shelter. In water. Yeah, I'm serious. My nephew paddled over and decided it was better under there than out in the elements. I promise the temp dropped 15 degrees within minutes. And after about 20 minutes, the temp of the water was dropping too. I finally had to call a halt to the outdoor festivities. I was not the hero.

I had to be insane to think going in the pool while it was pouring down was a good idea.

Side note:
Paige has had really bad headaches the past week. I thought it was due to her not wearing her glasses while in class. Figured it out today. During the summer, she would drink a diet soda or two a day. She's not getting that now in school. My kid is having caffiene withdrawals. Go figure. I feel sorry for her because it's a pain to deal with, but that still doesn't mean she can set up the coffee maker so she can have a couple of cups in the morning before she goes to school. Hate it for you, sister.

Well, what to do???

I think my world as I know it right now is coming to an end. Seriously. Pretty heavy statement to open with, huh?

After alot of soul searching and discussion and probably ALOT more discussion...I think I'm going to pack my kids up and move to be with my husband when he changes bases next year. I simply cannot believe I am even entertaining the thought. One thing drives me. I miss him. We all miss him. This single parent deal I'm doing right now sucks. I know women do it everyday and they do a mighty fine job of it (shout out to Coley-gurl on that one!). But they have to. I believe that when you don't have a choice, you pull up your pants and dive headfirst into doing what needs to be done. We decided before we got married that we wouldn't move the girls away from all they know and the security of routine and family. We didn't know it would be this hard to be apart.

My son is growing and learning so much every single day and Fred is missing so much of it. This past weekend we went to Virginia and had the nicest hotel room to stay in. Plenty of room for the 5 of us. That boy went crazy! Climbing and jumping and trying to open the door to get out. My husband just looked at me .....my guess was in shock? I just shrugged and said he's like that every moment that he's awake. Kills me that I can tell Fred that every day we talk on the phone but he just doesn't get it until he sees it with his own two eyes. I even sent him a pix text today with the cell phone when Vitt climbed up into the bathroom sink in order to reach the toothbrushes and just sat right down in it. I still shake my head over that one.

I didn't want to even think we would be moving until I kinda sorta brought it up in casual conversation to Paige. You know her? That high strung, anxiety ridden, low self esteem, the-world-hates-me Kid? Well, pick me up off the ground and knock me down again. She wants to go. Is begging to go. DYING TO GO. Get the picture? She feels she is in need of a change of scenery and a new adventure. Excuse me? This isn't a trip to Disney World sweetheart. (Even though we would be just a few hours from there). She begs me everyday to tell her I've made up my mind and we're going to start packing...to move next summer.

Can I be selfish for a moment? Truly? This is all I've every known!! I've moved from here twice in my life and only around 30-40 miles away and never for too long. I have friends that love me in spite of my sarcasm and brutal honesty. My mom is freaking next door, man!! She cooks when I don't feel like it!! And it's good!! Her health isn't the best. I worry about her. I take her to the doctor. I finally talked about it with my two closest friends. LF (life friend) and Chelle. Chelle and LF are mere acquaintances. I depend on both for my sanity. LF started crying time as I started talking about it. Everyday she calls me and before we're off the phone she is crying. We went to Virginia this past weekend and I called her when we left to come home and she made the comment that I was only gone a weekend and it drove her crazy. Chelle postponed her wedding so I could give birth and be in it. She has been battling secondary infertility for 2.5 years and I have battled beside her. Cheering her on...researching....backing her up. She just had a breakthrough surgery last week that should open the doors (literally and figuratively) for her to get pregnant. She is quiet when I tell her and then says she can't be selfish. I get upset saying that she will now get pregnant and I won't be here for her!!!! Yes, I too, am being selfish.

I want to go. I want one kinda sorta adventure before I settle in one place for the rest of my life. It's only for 2 years....3 years max. Then I will be back home to raise my kids and hopefully grow old gracefully . I want to be with my husband.

I just want every freaking body to be happy and I just don't know how to do it.

A Glimmer of Light in the Dark

I haven't posted lately because...well, because I didn't feel like I had anything bright and good to post about. That is so wrong. There is always a bright spot here and there, you just have to look. I looked today and there were quite a few once I got to looking.

1. I went to the doctor today. I had to rush rush to get everyone ready and myself ready. I had to rush to get them to school and get the baby to my SIL's armed with sausage biscuits to share with everyone. On the lovely 32 mile drive it started to rain. And I don't mean little bitty baby drops. It was pouring as in "If you don't have an ARK, you are in trouble". Crap. I could visualize my trusty umbrella propped against the back door. ~sigh~ I hoped it would stop by the time I got there. No such luck. As I sat there with the rain coming down so hard I couldn't even see the car next to me, I looked up and said "Lord, if you're there. Wait, I know you're there. BUT, if you are so inclined to listen right now, I sure could use an umbrella." I half-heartedly got on one knee to look around my mini-van. I caught a glimpse of something underneath my seat. It was a compact umbrella.

2. I finally bit the bullet and went to get that thingy on my spine checked out. I had no excuse not to anymore. I ran all over that hospitol. I went to get my MRI and they took so long I missed my appointment. They called and the office said to still come. Put it this way. I did so much running that I almost just walked out the door and said hang it all. Finally, I saw the doc. He looked at my MRI and my x-ray and turned to smile. He said I was hands down the easiest patient he had today. Apparently that tumor thing is a small mass of blood vessels. We pretty much all have them. Some larger than others. My spine? Lovely. Perfectly straight. No sign of arthritis no where to be found. Now I'm a big girl and I practically preened when he said "That's the best looking spine I've seen on a 34 year old white woman in a long time." All my problems are muscular. Mostly due to that last pregnancy. He suggested physical therapy. HA HA HA HA HA. Sir, I have 3 children. He told me that should be therapy enough. I just about skipped out of his office.

3. I had to cut the grass this evening. I neglected it last week because I had a fit of rebellion and just didn't do it. Won't do that again. Alas, the lawn mower wouldn't work. I just wanted to cry with frustration because I needed to get it done. When my Dad got home from work, I told him the problem. He sighed and we started working. 30 minutes later my baby and I were cutting grass. Vitt LOVES to ride the lawn mower. He would ride with anyone who is sitting on one. Well, my lines on my lawn are crooked. Why? Because he kept leaning back and putting his face up with lips puckered. Now tell me, people, how could you resist that?? I didn't. So I was giving kisses to the sweetest little fellow and my lines are crooked. Maybe it'll start a trend?

4. Paige and I have been both pms'ing together and I really couldn't tell you how we've lived to tell about it. Elvis and his snarl have nothing on me and my kid. As I was cutting, I needed the van moved just a few feet. I paused to tell her to get the keys and move it. What??? Are you serious?? You would have thought I gave her front row seats to a Hillary Duff concert. It was only 15-20 feet, but she was completely smooth. I heard her holler and when I looked, she made the motion as to ask if she could maybe drive it around the yard. Uh...NO. I made the throat slicing motion and she snarled. I was a hero for five minutes and it felt good.

5. My husband was taken to the ER yesterday with chest pains. I found out about it when he was back in the barracks and feeling no pain due to morphine. Chest tests came back all negative and he will do more within the next week or two. I was upset. Worried. Mad that he didn't call me when he first went. But you know what? He's ok. And the children and I are packing a bag and driving to see him tomorrow for the weekend. Do I want to drive? No. Will I? Yes. He is ok. My eyes have to verify this fact.

6. Makenna has informed me many times this week that homework bites. This sweet easygoing child is going to be the one to drive me crazy with homework. She did tell me that if it made me happy, she would give it a try...but it still bites. I put her hair in ponytails this morning and she swished her head back and forth to get the full effect while looking in the mirror. Obviously the look agreed with her and she turned to give me a big hug and an "I love you, Mommy! You made me cute!" Kiss my butt, I'm going to take full responsibility for that kid being cute.

7. On the way home there was a caravan of sorts. Huge HUGE trucks carrying tractors. One veered into my lane but whipped it back in the nick of time. I've heard that we're all assigned guardian angels to watch over us. Glad mine was on her/his toes and doing a good job.

I challenge you to find a glimmer of light. I know when I feel like I'm at the lowest I can get, God seems to fill my world with lightning bugs. Little glimmer of lights to help me find my way.

Friday Night

"Want to watch David Letterman's monologue before we go to bed?" my husband asked.

"Sure," I replied.

Then the phone rang. Folks you only get two kinds of news that late at night..close to midnight. There's trouble or someone has given birth and no one I knew was in labor at that time. I answered the phone when the caller i.d. showed my Life Friend (remember her from previous blog entry?) I get this....

"Call the law." (sobbing) "He's gone crazy" (Hearing loud hollering in background...crashing...profanity.)

"What???" is all I can think to say.

Phone hangs up.

I call back frantically. I just know he's done something so badly she can't get the phone. She answers with a whisper. I hear her child crying and it's so close that I know the child is being held in her lap. "What is going on???" I say..and loudly.

"He lost it. I don't know. He pushed me. Child saw it all. He's going to do something bad." I hear him in the background asking if she's on the phone and what could happen if she is. I tell her to NOT hang up and put the phone beside her so I can hear what's going on. I put my phone on speaker phone so Fred can hear what I'm hearing. All of a sudden I hear her cry "Please don't, X!! Please don't!! Child is right here! Please don't!!!" Phone hangs up.

Folks, I froze. It was like a bad accident. You know you should be doing something but you can't wrap your mind around what you've seen or heard. I unfreeze long enough to call a mutual friend. Her hubby answers the phone. I tell him that X is beating the crap out of Friend and someone needs to get over there NOW!!! Hubby tells Mutual Friend and she calls back. Her hubby won't go over there. I don't blame him. Fred won't let me go and I know X is beyond drunk and I would fear for my own self if I was stupid enough to go in. In the meantime I have called back and she is on my phone (speakerphone on) so that M.F. (mutual friend) can hear through the cell phone what is going on. She borrows another cell phone and calls 9-1-1. Why didn't I call??? I DON'T KNOW. All I could think was that that baby needed to get out of there and I couldn't go help. Those five minutes were some of the most confusing of my life! Friend tells me that she called 9-1-1 also and didn't say anything. She is whispering to me because the phone is beside her and X doesn't know she's on the phone. 9-1-1 calls her back and I tell her stay on the phone with one of us. I was a shaking mess. Finally after 50 years...more like 20 minutes...she comes on the line to let me know the law was there and he was handcuffed and put in the patrol car.

"Do you need me?" I ask.

"No, I'm fine"..she starts sobbing. I am on the cell phone with Mutual Friend. At the same time we both said...."I'll meet you there."

I hang up the phone and start to dress. Never looked at Fred or said anything. My pure focus was on getting to my friend...to that baby. I come back to him sitting on the couch and start apologizing. Our time is so limited and here I am running off at 1 a.m. to the aid of someone else. He simply looks at me and says..."She needs you. You have to go. Just take your cell. " I loved him so much at that moment.

The whole way over there I mutter and fuss to myself. It's only a few miles but it felt like I was driving across country. I assumed that they had taken X and was gone. I pull in the yard and there are two patrol cars...with X locked up in the back of one. I don't even look his way. I can't. I am shaking. I go in the house and the officer is taking the report. I don't say a word but go straight to the baby who is clinging to mom's shirt. It was like the child had taken a bath in fear. I take Child gently away so Mommy can talk to the nice officer. Child starts sobbing. I croon and hold and say nonsense things. Child tells me they need to be with Mommy. They have to take care of Mommy. I told Child that they had done a wonderful job and that Aunty Hope was going to take care of Mommy for a while. Child consented to sit on couch with blankie and puppy and rest. I go back to Friend to hear her tell of what happened. Officer is nice and very compassionate. Apparently X thought of fighting officers when they came in. Mistake. BIG mistake. He changed his mind quick-like and went peaceably.

I start looking around. Oh my. The recliner is overturned. The dressers in the bedroom have been ripped out and clothes are strung everywhere. Then glory be! There's a huge hole the size of an elephant's fist in the wall beside my head. Mutual Friend turns up and the officer wraps things up. Says he's going to get his camera to take pictures of house. Dude came back in with some cheesy butt instant polaroid camera. I raise an eyebrow. When he finally leaves and Friend has much deserved breakdown, I ask for her digi cam. When in hand, I start taking my own set of pictures. It's good to have backup in this world. Besides, digital showed the broken bedroom door better...the color in the clothes strung everywhere...the hugeness of the hole in the wall.

I made it home around 3:30 a.m. Exhausted. Mentally. The house was straightened...Child put to bed. Friend hanging in there.

Now I have to say this. On the way over there I was thinking....Be a little bit more redneck, would ya, bud? Oh, I was pissed. Then after I left and was driving home I realized something. This happens every day of the week. Women are abused...children are witnesses. And people..it doesn't just happen to the regular folk. It's every where!!! There are lawyers, doctors, professors, brokers, CEOs that come home...drink too much...and just freaking flip out. I exclaimed while over at Friend's that I was too old for this crap. Then I realize...there are women who deal with this until they die in their 70's,80's ..or until hubby dies first. I can't fathom it. I really can't. I had a bad relationship one time...way back in my misguided youth that ended with a call for domestic violence. Never again.

I am still upset because she wants to drop the charges. When she went for the bail hearing...the judge said no contact whatsoever until court date. She can't go that long without contact. There are bills to pay. Why don't the courts think of this??? You tell the couple no contact and then how is she supposed to pay the bills???? I don't think she would lose the house or car in 5 weeks, but we all realize how far behind a person can get if they miss one payment. I am just seething about the system and how it "protects" the victim....just doesn't care if they lose everything they own in the process.

No Fear

This has been a weekend. I want to post about it in greater detail but must first collect my thoughts better than what they are now. Instead, I will tell you about the first day back at school.

Notice the title of my post. No Fear. My girls are fearless thus far in this world. We picked out "THE" outfit last night so it could be ironed and just right.(that's a joke- I didn't want to run around like a froot loop chicken this morning) Makenna wore her new beach pants. They are pastel striped and adorable. Really popular pants this close to the beach. A matching pink tank top type shirt completed it with Rainbow sandals. She was pleased with the look and I breathed a sigh of relief. One down..one to go. Paige and I discussed what was going to look seriously cute and we came up with a green Tommy shirt with white piping and writing and white bermuda shorts. Nice. Neat and, in her defination..cool. Sweet..we're cooking with gas here, folks. And yes, I took pictures this morning. Thought the battery was going to die on the digi cam and I was going to have to draw them free hand on printer paper but I got some doable takes. (no, I cannot draw, that's why I almost panicked when it looked like the battery was puttering out)

Back packs were done by last Thursday and I believe Paige repacked hers a couple dozen times. Drove me insane! Makenna? That sister got all her stuff jammed inside and never opened it again until she got to school this morning. Yeah, that's my kid.

Off we went this morning. I dropped Paige off first because I wanted to walk Mak in at her school. We pull up in line at the Middle school and Paige is smooth. I ask her if she's nervous. I get the "Are you serious?" look again. "Uh...Mom...I'm a sophomore this year...I'm set". Yeah, ok, baby. I did get a kiss and a "I love you" when she got out and there she went. Swinging that messenger bag like nobody's business...already calling out to a friend. She never looked back. No Fear.

Here we go to the Elementary school. I park the van and get out to get Vitt out of his seat behind mine. Already I have friends calling out to me as they walk back to their cars after delivering their own children. Have I mentioned that I love a small town?? It so rocks. We walk in and I look beside me at this child who has her head held high..big grin on her face. We get to the classroom and her teacher comes and greets me with a hug. Explanation. Paige had this same teacher in 1st grade. I didn't request this, but believe it's awesome that Mak got her too. At that time, I was going through a bad separation and divorce and this teacher was the best thing ever to happen to Paige. We greeted each other this morning with a hug...so happy to share another year together. And Mak? She walks in..does her thing and sits right down. Excuse me? Don't I get a kiss? A hug? (Insert eye rolling and a quick jump up to comply). Time for me to go. I get to the door and take one quick look back. She is already turned and chatting with the kid behind her. She doesn't even know I'm gone. No Fear.

We get home and I do what I promised myself I would do. I got a cup of coffee and turned on Good Morning America. Oh no...Peter Jennings died last night. What a great loss. He was probably the only one I could stomach for the most part.

Little Man (aka Vitt) is in heaven. He has the joint all to himself and he intends to make the most of it. He comes back and forth to get HUGE bites of the banana I am holding out for him. I get engrossed in the t.v. and look just in time. Vitt has climbed on the back of the computer chair..til his upper torso is hanging over the back. He is grinning and calling "Mama!!". Just as the chair starts to tilt over, I jump up...catch it and Him before it crashes to the floor. He laughs great big belly laughs. No Fear.

I'm glad we are raising kids that have no fear. Now it's time to teach them the difference between no fear and stupidity. There's such a fine line between the two. I admit to having a hard time telling the difference sometimes. The thing is, I don't know which one to start with?

A Makenna Quote....

A classic Makenna quote:

"My head hurts........and I'm not even thinking!!"

amen, baby. I feel your pain.

Another quote:

"This back pack isn't going to match all my clothes."

she's such a fashion diva.

Back in High School ...part 2...

Back in High School I thought I was fat.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Back In High School.....

Back in high school the group of us would sit and day dream about how our lives would turn out. Everyone agreed on this prophecy for me:

Hope will end up living in an apartment because it's low maintenance. She will have the most awesome career ever. She will wear the coolest clothes and when she greets you at the door, it will be with a glass of wine in her hand. They all declared that I would be totally sophisticated.

Dear Joseph and the shepherds. Can I get some monetary compensation for them being so wrong? I live in a home...am a SAHM.....of 3 kids. I have to do everything maintenance wise because...well, I'm the only one who will do it around here. I am involved with the Girl Scouts and am in my 8th year of taking to and from dance classes. What happened?

Oh. And I couldn't tell you what a good wine is to save my life.